I've been seriously traumatized, differently to most

[HyperDave]

I have definitely experienced some quite extremely distressing, stressful and upsetting life experiences.

Unfortunately I do not personally feel comfortable to ever discuss these experiences, I truly do not believe other people can under or relate, or at least the vast majority. Although I do believe people can relate to the general emotional and mental impact.

I experienced a LARGE variety of emotions in relation to what happened, shock, acutely upset, deeply depressed, extremely angry, and for quite some time just an acute feelings of being stressed, serious problems sleeping, nightmares etc.

 I think to a reasonable degree, with a significant amount of time I have largely recovered from the above sort of impact. However there is absolutely no doubt that my experiences have permanently altered my perception of the world, in certain areas I am simply extremely distrustful, and I have become strongly unwilling to expose myself to situations where it could ever happen again.

Without a doubt it has quite dramatically altered the course of my life in certain aspects. I have almost entirely battled with these experiences alone.

 I have had some quite harsh experiences in life. My mother died when I was 13, I have experienced extended periods of my life completely isolated from social supports and anyone who cares about me, I won't go into my life story, but the traumatic experiences I am talking about, nothing else in my life compares to how awful those experiences were to me. They will be in my mind, until the end of my life.

I was WRONGED, quite seriously. Some people experience significant wrongs and get justice and recognition of what happened, in my case I never will.

My capacity to be truly happy and content in life, without a doubt has been permanently diminished to some extent, but I am still grateful that I have my life, I know I have it a lot better than others. I am capable, and have reasonable physical health, I can have an acceptable life.

 I do emphasize with anyone that has experienced any sort of highly traumatic event in life, people who haven't been through it just don't understand.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Dave

Hope it’s ok to drop the hyper bit off?  🙂

Thank you for coming to B.B. and to provide your post.

I hope it was at least a little beneficial to you to be able to write down aspects of your journey.

I can understand your reluctance to open up and discuss about personal hardships and life experiences.  I’ve been here for a number of years and at times have opened up;  and you know, the responses back have been nothing short of amazing – all from fellow sufferers, but their outpouring of support and advice and understanding just blows me away.

But mostly, I’m a bit like you – I’ve got all these anchors of stress, depression, anxiety that are attached to me and I lug around every day, but I just keep them inside and don’t open up.  It’s not as though I don’t want to, it’s just really hard to explain.

Your final paragraph about people who haven’t lived through it can never understand is spot on;  though some might try, it’s nigh on impossible for them to understand.

Oh boy, to be wronged in life and know that “they” can and are going to get away with it – I just wonder how many people this has happened too.  This is another one of those that we have to tuck into our baggage and just disgruntledly accept that this is how it is – and for my own experience in this, that “they” had to stoop lower than a gutter to do what they did and will get away with it.  And you know, it doesn’t really work where others say, “oh they’ll get theirs – karma is a biatch”.  Or what goes around comes around – I personally don’t believe in those suggestions.  I’d LOVE to instigate karma, but in a way, that’s sinking to their level.

Sorry about the digression there into a roundabout personal glimpse of one of my own anchors – I wonder if the above in a rough way sounds remotely similar to what you briefly described.

Anyway, it’d be awesome to hear back from you – and I’ve already noticed you responding to other posters, to which I say, “bloody good on you – it’s always awesome to see some new posters here and for them to chip in to others posts’, I hope it helps you a little and I hope you continue to do so”.

Cheers

Neil