Hi, welcome
I admire such courage displayed in your post. I'm 70yo male, been among groups of men all my life from AirForce days to many other jobs, let me say I know the many variations of men.
It is clear as day to me that you didnt ask for anything resembling sexual activity and your state allowed someone to take advantage of the situation.
Re: " I felt huge relief but was unable to speak to anyone because I simply don’t know how to bring it up." This is the strongest reason people have therapy, to release the mental burden that you tow around with you for life. Then allow time to do the rest of the healing. The process of therapy is like- attend, talk, be understood then eventually - accept as far as you can accept. Then allow time to do the rest of the healing. There's also a problem with immersing yourself into similar events online as it's like reliving the past.
There is also illnesses that can be associated with a traumatic experience, like PTSD. Without professional care these illnesses might not ever allow you to live a normal life, it can be that traumatic. Guilt is another factor and you've had that post that experience.
My association with men is vast. There are some really good men out there, but there is a section of men that even as a former prison officer I'm wary to communicate to. As a 14/15yo girl you had little hope under the circumstances to defend yourself.
I hope you get the care you need. There are few options but the professional care you can get will help you mark out your future emotional state and a happier life. Here is a post that could help. Reply anytime and thankyou for this post because it can help many others in a similar position.
https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/guilt-the-tormentor/td-p/321604
TonyWK
