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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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KGT Family Sexual Abuse
  • replies: 1

As an 8 yr old I was sexually abused by my Dad once. This was the one & only time this happened. I told my sister once when we were in our teens & she didn’t believe me & I have never spoken of it since. The impact has not been a problem for me or so... View more

As an 8 yr old I was sexually abused by my Dad once. This was the one & only time this happened. I told my sister once when we were in our teens & she didn’t believe me & I have never spoken of it since. The impact has not been a problem for me or so I thought til recently. My Dad is a good Dad & everyone loves him & if I spoke of this it would devastate so many who I love so much. I can’t do that to them. This is my choice as he is actually a very good person & I feel like I’m the only person he’s ever tried this shit on. It changed me from that moment on. It’s so unfair as the implications for me from that moment have been life changing. I am a very highly functional person with a successful business & I’m talking decades later. It’s my choice to protect al those I love so much & he only did it once. It still actually happened & I can’t talk to anyone about it. I know it’s not my fault but I know my hyper vigilance & relationships are a product of this one single event.

Steelcat41 Ex-military feeling the same
  • replies: 2

Ex-military PTSD…have bad thoughts and hidden self balm, is there any other military feeling the same….? Is this normal?

Ex-military PTSD…have bad thoughts and hidden self balm, is there any other military feeling the same….? Is this normal?

Wanttofadeaway **trigger warning - sexual abuse** This is hard to write but is not all of it but some
  • replies: 11

this might be long but i need to get it out Trigger Warning C/A Childhood Sexual Abuse this is a biit of what happened This is a what i can remember this is will long there is alot im sorry i cant remember exact order of events there is abuse from 0 ... View more

this might be long but i need to get it out Trigger Warning C/A Childhood Sexual Abuse this is a biit of what happened This is a what i can remember this is will long there is alot im sorry i cant remember exact order of events there is abuse from 0 to 7 years as well age 07 1980 year 1 abuse started age 08 1981 year 2 abuse ongoing age 09 1982 year 3 some abuse still age 10 1983 year 4 more abuse age 11 1984 year 5 more abuse age 12 1985 year 6 more abuse age 13 1986 year 7 more abuse parents interviewed by police for sexual abuse on sister age 14 1987 year 8 highshcool ..parents charged and jail time for abuse.. age 15 1988 year 9 more abuse age 16 1989 more abuse left WA went to victoria age 17 1990 abused again by sibling ..

ImTired Diary: Venting
  • replies: 1

A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with ocd and ptsd then at the start of last year with complex trauma, bpd and depression, recently I have had next to no outside support. I had so much happen to me growing up and had some bad cards dealt. I've r... View more

A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with ocd and ptsd then at the start of last year with complex trauma, bpd and depression, recently I have had next to no outside support. I had so much happen to me growing up and had some bad cards dealt. I've recently lost someone unexpectedly close to me. I feel stuck, I don't know who to talk to and just need to vent and let some stuff off my chest. My partner knows I'm not well, but I feel like if I talk to him (he has bipolar) and that's just makes things harder not better. He says I can but I feel like it does more bad than good. I'm the one who helps everyone else and I know I always put myself last Sometimes I look at the people around me and wonder what it feels like to shut off and just let go, even just for a little while The bright star in my life is my son, he is the best thing to happen to me. I want to get better for him, I have my good and bad days, but the last couple of months I've felt so numb. I tried to reach out to a counsellor in regards to a close family member I lost 2 months ago but so far I've heard nothing back. With everything going on with the pandemic and constant in and out of lockdown the mental health system is so backed up I don't know where to turn. Last year I was was sent on my way very quickly, it was the most raw experience, the nurse was crying to what I had to say, at the time I was paying for outside therapy so they advised to continue that but it didn't work out, I lost my job due to having a mental breakdown last year and struggled to afford it and had to stop going.

Ammee Nudity - Seriously concerned and seeking advice - Is this ok?
  • replies: 9

Hi, I have PTSD. I have had several traumatic events happen in my life, both sexual and physical. I have a loving husband who has walked this with me and helped me each step of the way. However, last night he dropped, what felt like a bomb shell on m... View more

Hi, I have PTSD. I have had several traumatic events happen in my life, both sexual and physical. I have a loving husband who has walked this with me and helped me each step of the way. However, last night he dropped, what felt like a bomb shell on me. Some background. Last year I had suicidal thoughts and was in hospital for two weeks - my mental health got very bad at the time and I reached out via Beyond Blue who helped me at the time. In recent months my mental health has been a lot better - better than it has in a long time - or so I thought. Last night my husband tells me, tells me not asks me, he is going to a nudist board game night where nudists get together and play board games, quite casually. We are monogamous but neither of us have ever had any issue with the other socialising with friends outside the marriage - as friends. Like social events with other people that the other partner may not know - we have always trusted each other in this and I have never felt distrust or discomfort of my husband going to other things - Like a book club he was a member of. I do not consider myself a possessive person in any way. But when he landed this on me all my mental health issues came flooding back, everything, the visions, the intense anger.. I felt betrayed. He didn’t understand what my issue with nudity is. He has always liked to be nude around the house - generally, as long as it isn’t in front of the kids, I don’t have an issue with this.. But something just feels so off with him being nude in front of strangers who I guess will become friends over time, as this is a regular meet up group. I feel wrong that he is going without me as his partner, but with my past trauma there is no way I could get nude in front of people I don’t know. He respects that but wants to go alone. So what do I do? I have tried twice now talking to him about my discomfort and how serious it is making my mental health - he doesn’t seem to care. He has this innate need to go to something like this. To be fair he is being respectful and not going to the one he said he would this weekend - but intends to in future and is trying to turn me. He doesn’t understand why I see nudity as sexual - but to me it feels that way, like nudity should be between us. It doesn’t feel right to me that he walks nude in front of others regularly - I don’t know why, but it is tripping my mental health big time. How can I help him see my view? And am I wrong in having these thoughts?

GimZim Gender Identity/Expression and Sexuality After Trauma - Feeling revictimised by people invalidating mine
  • replies: 7

Hey all, I'm a straight woman but I've regularly had people make comments or question my orientation, even from childhood. It never really bothered me that people often assume I'm gay, it's not a big deal to me. However, I've had people make some rea... View more

Hey all, I'm a straight woman but I've regularly had people make comments or question my orientation, even from childhood. It never really bothered me that people often assume I'm gay, it's not a big deal to me. However, I've had people make some really horrible comments. My sisters exhusband called me a "man hating dyke" and said I was probably raped by our dad. This was because I didn't accept a lift home from him when he was first dating my sister. I wasn't abused by my dad, he left when I was a very young child and I have no memories of him. I had a counsellor in highschool who would make comments implying I was closeted and that's what my problems stemmed from, I've had conversations with friends where sexuality has come up and had people tell me I'm asexual, demisexual, ace, all kinds of things and it's starting to upset me. I assume they're well meaning but it feels like sexual orientation should be about how you identify yourself and not something other people prescribe you. I recently had two male friends describe themselves as asexual and say they think it's related to bullying and trauma they experienced during school. I think it's entirely reasonable that someone could have their sexuality impacted by these things, just that mine hasn't been. It's getting to the point where I almost feel revictimised, having people treat me like I'm broken by things people have done to me. It feels like my agency is being taken away. My old manager where I worked in my late teens, a woman who was a friend of my mothers and was a solid 30 years older than me, got on top of me while I was blackout drunk at a party and kissed me. She also made a comment about how she was bisexual and knew I was too. One weird or maybe ironic thing is no one would think that made me straight. On the other hand, I know my gender expression changed because of being raped. I started wearing very oversized clothing, gained a lot of weight, stopped dressing as femininely as I used to. To some extent I (sadly) equate femininity with victimhood. I'm trying to move past this because, (and I think this is what all of this is about for me), I hate feeling like what happened has to change me in such a large way. I also really don't like the idea that people who are gay and have been abused are assumed to be gay *because* of the abuse. Have any of you experienced anything like this?

Ruby28 Did I do the right thing?
  • replies: 2

Hi, I have struggled with this for close to 4 years. Did I do the right thing. I loved my partner so much, we did everything together, we owed 2 houses our life was everything we both wanted. But he had a problem, which I eventually found out about a... View more

Hi, I have struggled with this for close to 4 years. Did I do the right thing. I loved my partner so much, we did everything together, we owed 2 houses our life was everything we both wanted. But he had a problem, which I eventually found out about and yes it scared the hell out of me but I wanted to help him, I loved him. His problem destroyed lots of lives and caused a death. I couldn't sleep I couldn't eat I have the worse nightmares and no I couldn't support him anymore, we argued so much before the accident, I repeatedly told him he would hurt someone. Eventually I told the truth, which meant I would destroy his life, how do you know what's the right thing and what's the wrong thing. I feel so sick all the time, I still have nightmares, I am petrified of going out, I am a horrible person for doing this, I didn't want to hurt him but I didn't want him to hurt anyone else

Reen2050 How to support male partner CSA victim/PTSD
  • replies: 4

My partner and I have been together for 10 months. Early in our relationship he confided in me childhood sexual abuse perpetrated by two separate adult female caregivers (not related to him) when he was a young and mid teen. I believed him and want t... View more

My partner and I have been together for 10 months. Early in our relationship he confided in me childhood sexual abuse perpetrated by two separate adult female caregivers (not related to him) when he was a young and mid teen. I believed him and want to support him as best I can. He believes he has put this in the past, but I beg to differ. Although he doesn’t have a diagnosis, he fits all the symptoms of cPTSD. Intimacy has been very difficult for us, his moods can change very quickly, and with them his reaction to me. He is prone to avoidant and withdrawal behaviour. He can be erratic, struggle to go to sleep and has impulse control issues around weed, binge eating, alcohol and porn, none of which really cause a major impact on his life but it’s enough for me to notice. Talking about any of this only seems to make it worse. The only thing he’s been diagnosed with is anxiety and he feels he manages well with meditation, yoga and exercise (which he does to some degree). He says that any issues are me projecting my anxiety onto him. I do have generalised anxiety but it’s really well managed - my psychologist is very pleased with how far I’ve come and I no longer need meds. It’s just hard not to be triggered when his attitude towards me changes so abruptly, from loving and sweet to distant and cold. I really want to help him too - I can see that he is hurting when these things happen, but I just can’t seem to reach him and he doesn’t want to acknowledge that anything is off. Does anyone have any tips (either as partner/carer) of the person with PTSD?I’d be really grateful.

Tulips2019 Living with emotional abuse - What to do??
  • replies: 1

Hello my name is V, I’m divorce with 2 kids who I care for full time. I left my ex 8 years due to domestic violence. I left with my boys and changed my life and together with my kids we live a very happy and peaceful life. I never had much money but ... View more

Hello my name is V, I’m divorce with 2 kids who I care for full time. I left my ex 8 years due to domestic violence. I left with my boys and changed my life and together with my kids we live a very happy and peaceful life. I never had much money but we were happy. 5 years later I met someone and fell in love. We move in a year into the relationship. Soon I started to notice some concerning behaviours only to realise my new partner was abusive emotionally. He would shout at me, call me name, belittle me, bully me and mock me. Sometimes he would drink and become abusive in front of my kids. we were scared, but eventually he would apologise and say he was going to change. things would good for a while until the next time, even the slightest comments would make him angry. now almost 4 years on I’m struggle to continue on in the relationship. he has 2 young kids who come one night a week and his 6 year old son demonstrates similar behaviours, he rude and very angry if disciplined. overall I feel my mental health diminishing. I feel stressed, anxious and nervous all the time. I don’t eat and I feel sick in the stomach and have so much tension in my body. I feel as though I’m going to have a breakdown. a week ago I made a comment about his sons eating habits and he responded rudely to me. I asked he not to talk to that way and he became very aggressive and hurtful. We haven’t spoken since last night when he suggested we should talk buy that turned into him attacking me, telling me it’s all my fault, yelling and raising his voice and being very over powering. Not allowing to speak or finish a sentence and shutting me down the moment I tried to say how I felt. after that conversation I told him I wanted to break up. I felt the relationship just isn’t working and causing me so much stress. He didn’t respond. I slept in my sons room and that where I’ll stay from now in. I want out of the relationship but because we own the house together and I can’t afford to just leave I will need to stay until the house is sold and I have some money to find my own place. I don’t know how to deal with the tension in the house and share a roof with someone once you’ve ended the relationship. It’s affects my children too as he and I aren’t talking and avoiding each other. He’s very angry and it’s feel so uncomfortable. I need some advice. thank you in advance : )

scat My father died and I am not sure how to feel about it
  • replies: 12

My father was an abusive drunk. My mother divorced him in 1983 when I was 18. He remarried a woman who watched him abuse me and kick me out of my home when mum signed over the house to him on threat of death if she tried to claim it in the divorce se... View more

My father was an abusive drunk. My mother divorced him in 1983 when I was 18. He remarried a woman who watched him abuse me and kick me out of my home when mum signed over the house to him on threat of death if she tried to claim it in the divorce settlement. The gold digger and her children moved in and she married my father. He died recently and the gold digger did not tell us. I found out from a local hairdresser. I requested a copy of his will. It was dated 1991 and he left my brother and I $5 each because we never went to see him even though he violently drove us out of our home. my brother did visit him 3 years ago to make contact again. What bothers me the most is the lawyers who wrote his will think that we are arseholes for not seeing our father but he drove us away. I can't sleep, I am drinking way too much and I am swinging from deep rage to absolute depression over this and I deal with it. My father was sacked from his job for drinking when mum divorced him and he and the gold digger have never worked a day in their lives since. My mother worked her arse off in that house, even keeping debt collectors at bay. She did all the maintenance and ended up with nothing. She passed away from pancreatic cancer 9 years ago. The gold digger is laughing all the way to the bank at our expense. I have no idea how to get over this. We cannot contest the will because he left us $5 and I want to avenge my mother but I am not sure what to do