Hi Steel cat
I see Smallwolf has already replied and with a link too.
I joined the RAAF at 17yo in 1973. My 3 years there was full of turmoil and frankly I wasnt suited. I joined the prison service and for 3 years experienced far more in terms of terrible sights and fear than any 21yo should bare. I'm sure I had PTSD after that experience but them days it wasnt labelled.
So, can I say I might have a whiff of an idea what you feel but in the military some personnel can get PTSD simply by being in that environment and not even go overseas. Some as mentally stronger than others. That means you should feel no guilt in your condition at all. I join with Smallwolf and thank you for your service.
The good news is that time heals to a certain extent. The more you create another life with new hobbies, sports and special interests the more you'll mentally move on. But the best way to describe this ex military PTSD imo is like a child you have lost...such loss is etched on your mind and it will never budge, we can just throw a blanket over it.
That makes you a special needs person. Your family and friends will need to look at you in that light, lots of empathy and listening ears without expectations you'll recover- or you should have.
Having spent more than one day full time in the defence force entitles you to at least a "white card" (I have one) that gives you free mental illness treatment and medication. It is well worth having and the Federal Government/s should be praised for this initiative. Other cards like the gold card is also possible depending on your service. Enquire if you dont have one and take advantage of it.
When younger I wasnt aware of having bipolar, part ADHD (my original diagnosis), dysthymia, anxiety etc. When a crisis came along I had suicidal thoughts and a little self harm. In 1996 it all came to a peak with an attempt when my marriage dissolved. What came out of that was a rebound- built my own home and started from scratch financially and lifestyle. I was lucky I had the capacity to do that.
What I didnt do was seek professional medical assistance like a psychiatrist, group therapy, forums (not invented then) and so on. So I congratulate you in commencing this thread and look forward to a fruitful discussion which by all means can be ongoing....just keep typing when you feel the urge, no obligations at all.
The military is a different world to civvy street. But there is a lot to live for as I can testify.
TonyWK
