**trigger warning - sexual abuse** This is hard to write but is not all of it but some

[Wanttofadeaway]

this might be long but i need to get it out
Trigger Warning C/A
Childhood Sexual Abuse

this is a biit of what happened

This is a what i can remember this is will long there is alot im sorry
i cant remember exact order of events
there is abuse from 0 to 7 years as well
age 07 1980 year 1 abuse started
age 08 1981 year 2 abuse ongoing
age 09 1982 year 3 some abuse still
age 10 1983 year 4 more abuse
age 11 1984 year 5 more abuse
age 12 1985 year 6 more abuse
age 13 1986 year 7 more abuse parents interviewed by police for sexual abuse on sister
age 14 1987 year 8 highshcool ..parents charged and jail time for abuse..
age 15 1988 year 9 more abuse
age 16 1989 more abuse left WA went to victoria
age 17 1990 abused again by sibling ..

[Guest_1643]

heywanttofadeaway

if u want to keep writing..... please feel free...

continue ur story here....

getting it out is so empowering. i'm listening.

[geoff]

Hello Wanttofadeaway, a very sad thread and as Sleepy has said we are here to listen to you after these most awful situations and moving to WA you would think that you were eventually free from this abuse, only until a sibling has performed it once again.

Each occasion needs to be reported to the police once again as abuse like this is the most terrible experience a person has to suffer from, and hope you can come back to us.

My best.

Geoff.

[Wanttofadeaway]

i was abused from birth and im almost 100% sure both my parents did stuff to me as well

they did stuff to my sisters and i have flashes of things done to me by them and them knowing things where done to me and not caring at all maybe even letting some of it happen i cant go into detail as some of it is pretty graphic

but times where dad would take me to nudest beach and my sister and disappear with her and leave me alone.

abused at home for over 2 years by the same person someone they new would do stuff in the house and else where i did tell once but my dad would physically assault me and say dont say stuff like that no one cares

At least in 1987 both parents where arrested charged and jailed for child sex offenses

it has caused me so much pain and shame and guilt loneliness embarrassment i want to tell my story but i cant go into too much depth on the graphic details ...

[Sophie_M]

Hey Wanttofadeaway,

We are so sorry to hear about what you have been through and we understand how much strength it takes to share your story with us here, so thank you for showing such courage. We can hear the pain that you've endured with such abuse from such a young age, which is something that no one should ever have to go through. We hope that you find these forums to be a safe space and please know that our community hear you and we believe you. You are an incredibly strong and valuable person, and please know that you don't have to do this alone. Our caring community are here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

We can hear that this is a really tough time for you and you're wanting to heal emotionally. Can we ask if you are currently seeking any mental health support, or have reached out for support in the past? We know that it can be really difficult to sit with this on your own, and we'd urge you to reach out to our friends at 1800RESPECT to talk these feelings through. They offer confidential information, counselling and support 24/7 for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. The lovely supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice to support to those who have been through trauma like this, and are available to you anytime on 1800 737 732 or also through their webchat at: https://www.1800respect.org.au/

Our friends at Blueknot are also another great service and offer support to anyone who has experienced childhood trauma. They are available from 9am-5pm on 1300 657 380, or you can also visit their website here: https://www.blueknot.org.au/

We hope that our community can be of some solace for you, and that you can find the courage to keep reaching out for support through this. We're all here for you, and please free to keep us updated here on your thread throughout your journey, whenever you feel ready to. 
 

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome.

it is very sad to hear what you have experienced in your life to date. And in what your parents said to you about nobody caring etc. is untrue. None of what happened was your fault or doing! If you are told something enough times you can tend to believe it.

One exercise I had to with my psychologist was to write a letter to my younger self. I cannot say it was easy. But it allowed me to make some sort of sense with what happened and how I how far I have come since then.

I hope you get a chance to answer the questions that Sophie_M raised. The people here care very much for you and will support you in this journey.

Peace and comforting thoughts to you. Tim

[Wanttofadeaway]

i have 0 friends i dont talk to people and SARC is still 6 months wait list

when i need to talk no one is there i dont want to talk on phone sometimes because i dont want my wife or kids to hear my wife knows some small parts but not most of it

booth my parents are dead dad died 1996 but no one told me till 2020 mum died about 4 years ago from cancer

i need to talk but can do it online but thers not much or hardly anything ive found and going back to 18 year sof age i went to a place in freo was told it happened get over it so trusting people to even talk is is extremely hard

feel alone alot

[geoff]

Hello Wanttofadeaway, we hear what you are saying and I'm pleased Sophie_M and Tim have replied back to you.

Your story is devastating and realise that it is difficult to explain exactly what's happened, but we get the gist and know how abhorrent this must have been for you.

Unfortunately, unless you can be counselled or spoken to with someone who cares about what's happened in a caring way, then it will be difficult for you to be able to overcome these events that are numerous, because, at each stage of your life, not only will you have physically changed, but also mentally from one year to the next is not the same as you begin to mature.

No one has any right to tell you to 'get over it' as all of this can be locked in and anyone who says this, just don't understand at all.

I'm really sorry that the Sexual Assault Resource Centre (SARC) is so heavily booked but want to let you know that we are listening to you and have our most utmost apologies.

Please take care.

Geoff.

[Guest_1643]

hey there

u deserve to be heard and believed

it wasn't ur fault

i can understand the flashbacks and bits and pieces of memory... like parts of the truth are hiding from u... i have that too. it'sonly when i share the story with someone trusted a few times eventually the truth finds itself coming out

how horrible to have that lack of saftey at home. six months is a long wait. i hope u get in sooner. maybe if u call a few times they might remember u for cancellations?

it is so disappointing how services are overloaded now, and vulnerable ppl who are urgently needing help are left without. u deserve the best support.keep at it. i hope u will find some amazing support and care.

[Wanttofadeaway]

my dad died in 1996 but i didnt find out or get told till 2020
i seen my dad i was 18 he lived in a shack i owned on a beach

my brothers unlike me where stocky built i was am built like a match stick..

I always thought about abuse as it was always on my mind..

My mum died 2018 on my daughters 16th birthday so not hard to forget
since my mum died i had started having more flashbacks memories ect but i didnt cry for her
i didnt feel much at all i seen her about a week before she died she was in hospital in a induced coma

she died from brain cancer it started in her stomach they thought they got it all was fine for ages but then it worked its way to her brain and she didnt last long then..The die she died i was playing video game they rang said she died i said ok thanks and hung up the phone and went straight back to playing my game...

Life for me was full of bad scenes for almost all of my first 18 years on the planet...

when i got engaged my mum didnt even come to that and when i got married none of my family came well mum brother they where sent invites and they just never bothered to show so the wife had all her family friends there for our wedding i had 0 friends there even the best man was the boyfriend of wifes friend but we where not friends ourself..Family not coming hurt me alot more than i care to admit they never bothered to make a effort to see meat anytime so i wouldnt see my mum maybe 2 times a year if lucky,,,

i guess what it all means is i do feel alone like no one loves all the timewhen you have alot of things happened specially abuse and ive had it all
mental physical vocal sexual abuse but i learn to push it down but i just cant any longer i think both parents dying was a push to remember what they did what they let happen.,,,Sometimes i think all these things are just normal because its all i knew and that being Sexually abused is my fault.