PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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chiara_g Struggling to cope with past experiences (sexual assault trigger warning)
  • replies: 2

Hey, I’m new here. I’m a sexual assault and emotional abusive survivor. I came through the other side in 2006 but I was left with a few demons. He would tell me I was too skinny and ugly and would force feed me as a way of emotional control. One part... View more

Hey, I’m new here. I’m a sexual assault and emotional abusive survivor. I came through the other side in 2006 but I was left with a few demons. He would tell me I was too skinny and ugly and would force feed me as a way of emotional control. One particular time I had gastro and you know when you’re sick the last thing you want to do is eat but I was force fed and I was subjected to a weekend of various abuse. Since my experience, a few things changed, one of which I started having relationships with females. Having a relationship with female seemed more comfortable, equal. Also since my experience, my eating changed, I have problems with control and eating. 12 years on I did get married, to a very understanding man who puts up with my quirks and I felt I had moved on with life. However recently, I had a situation where I confided in my doctor, who crossed the line sexually, pursuing a friendship over text message and in person with questions about my sex life, why I’m bisexual, how do you have sex with women and information about my past sexual experiences. He asked me questions about having sex with men and my husband and I guess it was a fantasy for him. When I went to my husband for help, my doctor tried to tell me what he was asking was no big deal, that it had nothing to do with my husband and just between us and went to my husband saying that I was having an affair, I’m an escort but my husband put him in his place and reported him to the medical board. Six months on, I’m feeling fundamentally broken. I feel like the lid I had firmly on my past experiences has been re-opened with everything spilling out, or I feel like a mirror I was holding has been taken from and thrown to the ground. I tell myself I feel I’m overreacting, or it shouldn’t be a big deal, it's not like the doctor touched me and was only aroused by what I sent him but I am constantly anxious because it’s triggered everything and I don’t know why. I’m struggling to control my eating, I’ve stopped being intimate with my husband, just feel so withdrawn. I don’t want to be touched or hugged by anyone and I get angry, I have these fits of anger that I don’t know where they come from… but it’s pure rage. I’ve been medicated by psychiatrists but it’s not helping at all and I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.

AdriftAnnie Is it ever okay to reconcile with abusive partner?
  • replies: 7

Hi, I’ve posted a few times before about my husband who physically and sexually assaulted me a few months ago. It was very violent and I’m still dealing with the effects of being assaulted by someone I loved and trusted. He breached an avo after the ... View more

Hi, I’ve posted a few times before about my husband who physically and sexually assaulted me a few months ago. It was very violent and I’m still dealing with the effects of being assaulted by someone I loved and trusted. He breached an avo after the assault and ended up in prison for 5 weeks. This experience seems to have changed him for the better. We have young children together and while he has never been physically abusive in the past, he has been verbally abusive to both me and our children. He is desperate to reconcile and says he has “seen the light” and will never hurt me again. I don’t want to reconcile. I feel broken after what he did. But I could probably take him back for the sake of our children. My question is, is it ever okay to take back someone who has hurt you so badly? Is there ever a reason? I don’t think I love him anymore, but I care about him still. We were together over a decade and he was my only relationship. He wasn’t a supportive partner, except financially so I am more than capable of raising our 3 children alone. But should I? Should I give him a chance? My biggest worry is that he will hurt me again - not necessarily physically - and that I won’t be able to pick myself up next time. Maybe I am just being selfish. If he has changed then shouldn’t I give my children the nuclear family they deserve? I’m so confused. I know it’s my decision, but I could use some advice/guidance. Thanks

Bobbie1982 Thoughts about the trauma CONSTANTLY
  • replies: 1

Hi, i experienced a lot of abuse as a child and have had tonnes of therapy. I felt like I was starting to really make a good recovery, but recently not so. i feel like everything triggers all sorts of random memories/feelings/etc about the abuse and ... View more

Hi, i experienced a lot of abuse as a child and have had tonnes of therapy. I felt like I was starting to really make a good recovery, but recently not so. i feel like everything triggers all sorts of random memories/feelings/etc about the abuse and it’s CONSTANTLY on my mind..even at work or when I busy myself, it’s always there. I feel like I’m going insane! I have been doing EMDR therapy for the past 12 months (on and off) and have recently changed psychs to a more affordable one. I like her and feel like she knows her stuff and is good, so no issues there apart from the fact I’ve only been seeing her for a couple of months...has changing to someone new triggered these “obsessive thoughts” (for lack of a better term!)? I don’t really know. I just feel incredibly anxious and out of control on the inside. I wish I had an off switch!! thanks for listening!

Unhappy78 Lies (trigger warning childhood abuse) 
  • replies: 1

Please don't judge. I am just here for some assistance. I have just been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety as well as asthma. It has been misdiagnosed for approximately 2 years according to the health professions. I also deal with a child ... View more

Please don't judge. I am just here for some assistance. I have just been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety as well as asthma. It has been misdiagnosed for approximately 2 years according to the health professions. I also deal with a child who has ptsd who refuses to see a councellor. Short version is we have fought the court system for 5 years. This has taken a toll on me and I didn't realise I had depression until just recent. Is it possible to not know you are drowning until you hit rock bottom? Has anyone lied during depression before to get extensions on university assignments? Is this normal when you have depression?

BBUser19 My 11yo daughter was sexually abused by her stepfather
  • replies: 11

My sweet 11yr old daughter came to me recently and told me that her step father sexually abused her the night before. I kicked him out of bed that morning went to the police 2hrs later as that was when a CPI was available he was held in custody for 1... View more

My sweet 11yr old daughter came to me recently and told me that her step father sexually abused her the night before. I kicked him out of bed that morning went to the police 2hrs later as that was when a CPI was available he was held in custody for 1 night released on bail the following morning. I have started on medication. im struggling. I have no support from my family as it brokedown when I was a child. my friends are there for me but its not quite the same. this $%£& was my rock for 8 years now I have no one to hold me while I grieve. My beautiful girl is coping ok at the moment and I try not to let it show just how broken I am. I am blaming myself for what happened even though I had no way of knowing it was going to happen. Christmas is just round the corner along with highschool for my daughter and school for my son. I am currently trying to find a new place to rent. but as I expect to take a fair bit of time off work my financial situation is getting worse. I haven't been able to eat for 4days now. I've lost 8 kgs im getting weak. every time I go to eat I vomit. Every diesel car and or Trailer is making me jump. Im finding it hard to sleep. Got the locks changed as he had a key to the house. I have been documenting all of his belongings and packing them away. waiting for the day he comes to collect them. Im worried about what he will take as most of the things we bought together. Im worried about my daughter im worried about how my son will cope when he relieses that the man he called dad will never be coming back. im worried about money Im worried about me. If u have any advice please help Thank you

hankm Completely Repressed Memories
  • replies: 6

Im a 27 yo male who recently saw a counsellor with my gf for some relationship counselling, The guy we saw only had a tafe degree, which at the time I wasn't aware. He spoke about neuroplasticity and creating new connections in the brain and accessin... View more

Im a 27 yo male who recently saw a counsellor with my gf for some relationship counselling, The guy we saw only had a tafe degree, which at the time I wasn't aware. He spoke about neuroplasticity and creating new connections in the brain and accessing your unconscious mind through adult learning- he performed psychonalysis (which I wasn't aware of at the time) and picked up on a deep child hood trauma I had no idea about and retraumatized me using nlp an suggestion therapy without even explaining to me what was going on. The guy told me in the last session I saw him that he did it to teach me a lesson that I wasn't better then other people, The recovered memory/flashbacks ive been having have been severe, Its like my nervous system has shut down too. I know that the holisitic psychologist believe that traumas are stored in the nervous system Has anyone ever heard of anything like this? Ive been seeing a psych now and they believe it could be OCD- that doesn't explain the recovered memory.

Beetle Can you get PTSD because of medical negligence?
  • replies: 4

HI Ong story short: I have major depression. But I also suffer from TBI. Noises and lights bother me. I feel so sensory overloaded that I often just collapse. Its very hard to live with. My accident was 6 month ago. Since then I have experienced a lo... View more

HI Ong story short: I have major depression. But I also suffer from TBI. Noises and lights bother me. I feel so sensory overloaded that I often just collapse. Its very hard to live with. My accident was 6 month ago. Since then I have experienced a lot of negligence and even though I screamed out for help I didn't get any. The accident itself I thought wasn't that bad, but we could have blown up as there was fire next to flowing oxygen. Just throwing around ideas as I'm pretty messed up and trying to get on the right track thanks

mrskode PTSD & Narcissistic Mother
  • replies: 3

After many years of growing up with an abusive mother and also enduring many years of school bullying, I was diagnosed with PTSD. I feel as though I was robbed of my teenage life as it was mostly spent in bed, due to my body not being able to cope wi... View more

After many years of growing up with an abusive mother and also enduring many years of school bullying, I was diagnosed with PTSD. I feel as though I was robbed of my teenage life as it was mostly spent in bed, due to my body not being able to cope with daily trauma. About 10 years ago, I wad forced to cut contact with my mother and later my whole family. Life has been tough. Every day is a battle. I have just left a job due to constant bullying by a supervisor, which triggered off childhood trauma. I am also about to start my dream job, which I wanted to do 25 years ago. I am trying to get over my old job as well as prepare fo my new job. I am finding it overwhelming and emotionally draining. Just trying to let go and move on, but it is very hard.

Big_Lok Daily struggle with PTSD.. I get overwhelmed, angry and end up hitting myself.. Anyone else?
  • replies: 1

Daily struggle with PTSD.. I get overwhelmed, angry and end up hitting myself.. Anyone else? It's been happening ever since about 4 years after the initial trauma (sexual abuse).. About the same time I developed crippling OCD.. The initial abuse was ... View more

Daily struggle with PTSD.. I get overwhelmed, angry and end up hitting myself.. Anyone else? It's been happening ever since about 4 years after the initial trauma (sexual abuse).. About the same time I developed crippling OCD.. The initial abuse was at age 8 and these things began at 12.. I'm 23 now and have battled the whole time and have permanent bumps on my head due to the hitting.. I've been in a relationship for 4 years and its been a bumpy road for my partner seeing that and being right next to me when it happens.. I had councelling for over 10 years at different times been on about 20 different types of medication and I just can't escape it.. I want to know if anyone else has or experiences anything similar??

John_Smith_the_III Childhood abuse, disturbing behaviour as a child, eventual recovery and being about my life. *Wall of text*
  • replies: 22

First post, not sure it belongs here given the content so i apologize in advance if it is the wrong thread. Also it's going to be a long post which will be multiple posts. Sorry... "trigger warning" i suppose. Basically i'm depressed for insane reaso... View more

First post, not sure it belongs here given the content so i apologize in advance if it is the wrong thread. Also it's going to be a long post which will be multiple posts. Sorry... "trigger warning" i suppose. Basically i'm depressed for insane reasons. I was sexually abused by a relative as a kid which honestly doesn't bother me so much, but as a result of experiencing this so young i developed irregular behaviours of all kinds. Between i guess what must have been 4 and 9 years of age I had developed sexually inappropriate behaviours towards other kids, the type which i found out as an adult are considered very serious and are suppose to be reported to protective services or authorities of some kind. I don't know if the adults around me didn't catch on or were idiots OR just straight up neglectful but these behaviours went unchecked. I'm in my late 20's now and though all such behaviours had disappeared by the time i was 10 or so i feel absolutely disgusted by them even being a thing that i did as a kid. To put it bluntly i feel like my body and genetics are a disgusting product of a disgusting genetic ancestry full of disgusting people. Other behaviours i developed were severe anxieties, depressive, attachment and defiant disorders, explosive rage attacks with little provocation, fear of taking clothes of around people, bed wetting until a late age, mentally regressive behaviours all of which were more or less ignored and treated with ADD medication. I believe i was mostly seen as "a little shit who needs a good smacking". Most of these problems went away by the time i was 10 except for the severe anxiety, depression and anger issues which all got extremely severe from around age 12-14. I was eventually diagnosed as having major depressive disorder with lots of talk about Asperger's and possible Bi-Polar features. I was medicated for these things for a few years.