Hey, I’m new here. I’m a sexual assault and emotional abusive survivor.
I came through the other side in 2006 but I was left with a few demons.
He would tell me I was too skinny and ugly and would force feed me as a
way of emotional control. One part...
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Hey, I’m new here. I’m a sexual assault and emotional abusive survivor.
I came through the other side in 2006 but I was left with a few demons.
He would tell me I was too skinny and ugly and would force feed me as a
way of emotional control. One particular time I had gastro and you know
when you’re sick the last thing you want to do is eat but I was force
fed and I was subjected to a weekend of various abuse. Since my
experience, a few things changed, one of which I started having
relationships with females. Having a relationship with female seemed
more comfortable, equal. Also since my experience, my eating changed, I
have problems with control and eating. 12 years on I did get married, to
a very understanding man who puts up with my quirks and I felt I had
moved on with life. However recently, I had a situation where I confided
in my doctor, who crossed the line sexually, pursuing a friendship over
text message and in person with questions about my sex life, why I’m
bisexual, how do you have sex with women and information about my past
sexual experiences. He asked me questions about having sex with men and
my husband and I guess it was a fantasy for him. When I went to my
husband for help, my doctor tried to tell me what he was asking was no
big deal, that it had nothing to do with my husband and just between us
and went to my husband saying that I was having an affair, I’m an escort
but my husband put him in his place and reported him to the medical
board. Six months on, I’m feeling fundamentally broken. I feel like the
lid I had firmly on my past experiences has been re-opened with
everything spilling out, or I feel like a mirror I was holding has been
taken from and thrown to the ground. I tell myself I feel I’m
overreacting, or it shouldn’t be a big deal, it's not like the doctor
touched me and was only aroused by what I sent him but I am constantly
anxious because it’s triggered everything and I don’t know why. I’m
struggling to control my eating, I’ve stopped being intimate with my
husband, just feel so withdrawn. I don’t want to be touched or hugged by
anyone and I get angry, I have these fits of anger that I don’t know
where they come from… but it’s pure rage. I’ve been medicated by
psychiatrists but it’s not helping at all and I just don’t know what’s
wrong with me.