New Mum PTSD & Severe Anxiety

[Shan096]

Hello .. I'm new to all of this as I have never struggled with mental health before ..

Last September/October changed me completely. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia at 29 weeks pregnant, before I was pregnant I had only ever had the occasional shot, I had never been in hospital. The day I was diagnosed the next 2 months was living hell .. I was flown from my rural town to Brisbane for an emergency cesarean, I'm petrified of planes and had only ever been on 1 my entire life. Then I was strapped down on a stretcher in a tiny rural flying doctors plane and flown straight to Brisbane. When I got to brisbane they decided they could control my blood pressure and controlled it till I was 35 weeks. So everyday I had multiple injections, medication 3 hourly and observation. All I wanted to do was cuddle my partner and fall asleep but I couldn't leave the hospital, I was so petrified. Then the day finally came where they told me 'bub isn't growing and has lost the fluid around her, we will be delivering her today'. This shocked me to my core .. I was booked in for 2pm, i was almost in the operating room, when I got bumped and had to wait longer, I hadn't even decided on a spinal or to go under. By the time I got into the operating room my blood pressure had sky rocketed and the surgeon said if I got a spinal there is a chance they would have to put me under half way through if my blood pressure was to climb any higher. So I went under and had a gorgeous little 2012gm baby girl. She was immediately taken to NICU, we couldn't hold her for 3 days then I was discharged and I had to leave her there .. she had to stay for a month, this damaged my soul.

I'm starting to recognize my triggers .. I've only found one but that's a start the fear of having a heart attack as I suffer palpitations from the anxiety.

my heart is racing just typing this and I feel physically sick.

[SunshineJ]

Hi Shan,

I just wanted to quickly send you hugs. Being a mum to a tiny bub is so so hard and anxiety inducing at the best of times. I know you found the flight to brisbane and the hospitalization hard but just think - because of that your baby stayed in till 35 weeks which is an amazing achievement!! You should be proud that you went through all that to give your baby the best possible start. Have you talked to your gp/ are you seeing a psychologist? If you are not I urge you to please do so. I think my issues with anxiety and depression really began as pnd after my first son was born. He's now 17. Yet I didn't get help until 10 years later after I'd had my third child. I really wish I'd sought help sooner. I struggled so much. I know it's hard to ask for help (and keep on asking till you get the right help) but please do it - for yourself and your baby. Hugs