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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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KalahariKatfish Writing a letter to my parents, my mum in particular
  • replies: 3

"I'm writing to you because it is easiest for me. You may call it cowardly but that's your opinion. It's less scary and causes me less anxiety to do it this way. You have conditioned me to fear confrontation and cry as soon as I hear shouting. You ha... View more

"I'm writing to you because it is easiest for me. You may call it cowardly but that's your opinion. It's less scary and causes me less anxiety to do it this way. You have conditioned me to fear confrontation and cry as soon as I hear shouting. You have been a good parent to me for the most parts, providing for me and (My sister). But you've also done some horrible things. Shouting and insulting me until I'm in tears and then getting more angry when I start crying. A mother's natural response to their child in distress should be to comfort them, not to shout or sometimes laugh and ridicule them. And to be more specific, the reason I've been avoiding you and dad is from the other day. Dad threatened to hurt me. He threatened to kill his own daughter. Over some cats. I understand I took it too far, and I was stopping as I had previously told you. But that doesn't justify what he said to me, or how I'm being treated. And it doesnt justify you allowing him to say that to me. Arent you worried that your husband threatened to kill me? You know why I kept cat sitting for as long as I did, you know how difficult it is for me to get a job, to talk to people, to make friends. I was doing my best to make an income and get through uni. You seem to forget how stressful university actually is, and how much work I have to put in. I will apologise for what has happened with the cats, as I have in the past. The only reason foxy was out was to make dad happy. But I will not apologise for being upset, scared, and avoiding you. If you can't understand why then there isn't much more I can say. I'm telling you all of this because despite what has happened you're still my parents and I want to continue to have a relationship with you two. I'm grateful for everything you've done for me to help me become who I am. But if you can't see that what happened was wrong, I'm not sure what more I can do. I have other people that will care for me and protect me. I'm not trapped here. And if you're confused about anything, I'm happy to have someone else talk to you about it too. Because you laugh this off and forget about it, but I don't. This is serious and effects my life. "

Needingadvice2018 How to explain PTSD to another?
  • replies: 10

As title says, how do you explain to someone close to you what PTSD is or means in your life? How do you explain how certain things control your life or daily routine that you simply can't change for fear of what might happen if you do? i left a rela... View more

As title says, how do you explain to someone close to you what PTSD is or means in your life? How do you explain how certain things control your life or daily routine that you simply can't change for fear of what might happen if you do? i left a relationship many years ago, have since been diagnosed with PTSD due to dv, mainly all mental/controlling techniques he used but two occasions where I wasn't sure if I would see the sun again. I am now struggling to let my partner about the actual depth of my past, whilst I've been very open with the situation and what I and the kids went through, I've never let on about diagnoses (ptsd and depression) but I fear it will sound like I want sympathy (I don't, I'm strong enough) but I really want to be able to explain why I feel the way I do about being in certain situations or visiting specific areas of town. I've moved a distance away from my ex and do not want to go back near that area. i believe I need to be very honest about my pat but I just can't find words to explain it... I don't look broken nor would anyone other then drs and psych even think there is something going on behind the scene with me. appreciate any advice thank you

Ayisha Something beyond CPTSD
  • replies: 1

I was diagnosed with CPTSD three years ago.I was devastated to learn that it is incurable. I had always hoped that whatever condition i had had almost all of my life would have some remedy. But that is not the case. I was so resentful about my trauma... View more

I was diagnosed with CPTSD three years ago.I was devastated to learn that it is incurable. I had always hoped that whatever condition i had had almost all of my life would have some remedy. But that is not the case. I was so resentful about my trauma as a child. I grieved for my lost persona. I wondered what type of person i was supposed to be like. It was all a shock to me. I had enormous support from my psyche and my 3rd husband. I was angry for a long time... but i had no choice but to accept my fate and try and work with it the best way i could. I had to find way to obtain something beyond CPTSD! But even though it is three years on...i still hold some resentment. Who else knows these feelings?

Dayne How do you I cope with the nightmares...
  • replies: 3

Hey all, First time poster and new to the community. I'm a 27 year old new father to a beautiful 9 month old girl for context. Going through the motions of a diagnosis at the moment and my GP recommended I come here for support and advise. The nightm... View more

Hey all, First time poster and new to the community. I'm a 27 year old new father to a beautiful 9 month old girl for context. Going through the motions of a diagnosis at the moment and my GP recommended I come here for support and advise. The nightmares are starting to really get to me, my partner also snores like a demon and I often have to resort to sleeping on the lounge, and when I finally DO get to sleep, I wake up almost every hour, heart racing and covered in sweat. How does everyone cope with their demons when asleep? Previously in my life I have abused drugs to escape and get a decent nights sleep but with the kiddo now hanging around I really don't want to resort back to shit like weed to get a decent nights sleep. Would appreciate any recommendations.

Guest_8189 seeing dad die
  • replies: 2

i saw my dad die in infront of me from a heart attack in august. im broken, im not ready to see a therapist yet so i just want to talk here, just would like to talk to someone.

i saw my dad die in infront of me from a heart attack in august. im broken, im not ready to see a therapist yet so i just want to talk here, just would like to talk to someone.

beb7 Am I doing the right thing?
  • replies: 4

Hi, I have been suffering from ptsd, anxiety, depression and social anxiety. I was held up in a grocery store almost 3 years ago and it has completely changed my life. I used to be such a care free person and just genuinely happy now I don’t sleep, I... View more

Hi, I have been suffering from ptsd, anxiety, depression and social anxiety. I was held up in a grocery store almost 3 years ago and it has completely changed my life. I used to be such a care free person and just genuinely happy now I don’t sleep, I am anxious wherever I go, I have missed out on great things like my sisters 18th birthday and even just being able to go to the shops by myself. I hate how I am and I try so hard to feel better. After it all happened I was off work for about a year and then because I lived out of home with my partner we were struggling so much that I just went back to work and said I was okay (My partner did not want me to but I insisted) I didn’t think we had any other options. I was back for about 4 months and I kept getting worse, I almost lost my job as I would stay up all night not being able to sleep and then go to work, and sometimes I was so tired I’d physically feel sick, so I would call in sick to work. Maybe a month later my mum had a talk to me and said she noticed how on edge I was and how I was just always angry and she told me I think I should leave again. I agreed as I was so exhausted mentally and physically and I knew it wasn’t doing any good for me. Because the pay is small and my partner actually got laid off work as there was no more work for him we lost our house and had to move in with my parents. But the real point of this post is insurance companies. My one is incredibly pushy and make me do things that I don’t want to by threatening to take away my small $$ I get every week. They muck me around so much, adding new people into the case, I’ve caught them lying. And just the whole situation is sketchy. I do everything they ask. The one who handles my case is not nice at all, she has no sympathy and makes me feel like I’m just lazy. Which is so silly, why would anyone want this life. Anyway it’s gotten so bad lately (especially because they want me to travel 3 hours away for an appointment) that I was thinking of studying full time as I thought it would be a good start for some structure in my life. Although Tafe requires work placement and I just can’t. I’m not ready. So I thought University! But it requires a $200 fee just to apply which I cannot afford. What are some other options? I was thinking Centrelink until I save up enough money to pay for university. I am just not sure how it all works and what I am entitled to. Thank you for listening to me! Ebony

Just Sara PTSD - Does 'wellness' and 'safety' trigger a fear response?
  • replies: 23

It has with me.. I'd like to discuss exposure to health, vitality and safety after traumatic experiences. My recovery's in full swing, yet I'm still avoiding life; the good bits. Why? Change can have amazing benefits for personal growth. Those of us ... View more

It has with me.. I'd like to discuss exposure to health, vitality and safety after traumatic experiences. My recovery's in full swing, yet I'm still avoiding life; the good bits. Why? Change can have amazing benefits for personal growth. Those of us who experience fear responses to ptsd triggers, know how debilitating it can be. So when enough work's done to progress onto living life fairly normal, how do we cope? It's so new and foreign. People reading this might say; "OMG! What's she complaining about?! Getting well?!" Yep! In a nutshell... I don't ruminate anymore; I've let go of the past and not obsessing over the future. I live a simple life without too many problems, (unless I create them myself) can effectively deal with situations that trigger and have mastered mindfulness. Yay great! What now? My life's now like an experiment on a daily basis. A lot of my childhood coping strategies caused thru trauma are now on the back-burner. What replaces them? I've been on a mission to heal my broken mind and have come leaps and bounds. Now it's time to live life without trauma or threat of it and I'm flailing. It might not make sense to some, but I'm hoping it does with others. Habitual thinking and responses are just that; a habit. Forming new one's that aren't a response to danger is challenging me. Is there anyone out there who understands or wants to discuss this confusing topic? Existing and new members are welcome to contribute.. Many thanks...Sez

Honeybee23 Suffering within myself
  • replies: 2

my fiancé of 7 years has been accused of sexual assult from my 19 year old sister.She left home to our pastors house and told his daughters about it and all her ffriends. We didn’t find out till a week later when my mum told her to come home now. She... View more

my fiancé of 7 years has been accused of sexual assult from my 19 year old sister.She left home to our pastors house and told his daughters about it and all her ffriends. We didn’t find out till a week later when my mum told her to come home now. She told my mum, mum told me, then I flipped. I got her side of the story and it seemed so real. It just made no sense to me. It happened at 4am when he was getting ready for work, it was in the lounge room which is right next to the kitchen and it had happened with me sleeping in the next room, my parents in the next one and my brother and his gf and the one after that. It just made no sense. I called my oldest brother (not the one that lives with us), told him about it and he believed my fiance immediately. It just seems ridiculous. Ever since we’ve been walking on eggshells, she had told our cousins who then got involved and took her to their house and kept her a2ay from us. She then turned on us saying we were animals for protecting a rapist. I’m so scared because my fiancé has been accused of a criminal offence and don’t know what could happen. She said she was going to report him to the police and hope he rots in jail. I have so much anxiety and so does he. Worried someone will find him and try to take vengeance for something he didn’t do. My worry is that she’s told so many people . I keep thinking about the fact that I’m the reason everyone is still fighting. If I just broke up with him it would be over. But I love him so much and don’t believe it for a second. I’m suffering so much with this pain. I don’t know what to do or what will happen.

Ann66 Sad
  • replies: 1

Hi, so tired of putting on the happy face. I’m lost, trying to keep it together. I think I love my husband but don’t really know, he is a good man with a kind loving family but I’m from a dysfunctional family, Mum left me when I was 5yo dad sexually ... View more

Hi, so tired of putting on the happy face. I’m lost, trying to keep it together. I think I love my husband but don’t really know, he is a good man with a kind loving family but I’m from a dysfunctional family, Mum left me when I was 5yo dad sexually abused me..no siblings. 5 marriages, a son at 17 who was adopted (not my choice) then adopted 3 children before I had a baby at 41. my children are of course also dysfunctional, very little contact with them & I miss them & my grandchildren dreadfully. very little education as I left school at 15, bluffed my way into jobs all my life. I am socially inept, never had girlfriends- ever. Happy (?) on my own but sad I just can’t make friends I just don’t fit anywhere. Always uncomfortable in social situations so I avoid them. Very lonely, recently resigned from a well paying job but I had nothing to do so very bored. constant thoughts wishing it would all end, don’t think I’d suicide, just wish it would end I’ve had enough I’m tired, ugly, worthless, stupid with nothing to offer.

Gypsy_Girl Narcissistic abuse after divorce.
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I’m new & wanted to share my story I’ve been divorced 3 yrs. But my ex & his partner are a thorn in my side. I’ve been in a new loving relationship for 2 yrs & I have complete trust in my new partner, no worries about him cheating & lyin... View more

Hi everyone, I’m new & wanted to share my story I’ve been divorced 3 yrs. But my ex & his partner are a thorn in my side. I’ve been in a new loving relationship for 2 yrs & I have complete trust in my new partner, no worries about him cheating & lying which my ex did constantly. So it seems I didn’t bring any of that into the new relationship which is great. My ex & I have 3 kids. Which means I’m stuck having to deal with him. It’s gotten better over time. But there’s still moments where he’s extremely nasty. I’ve been to therapy & I always come across strong & independent. Eventually though something happens to retraumatise me. I do the typical things like, I disassociate myself from what I went through, I play mind numbing games, research, read articles or tv series to avoid thinking about it. I put myself down & imagine him berating me & have ridiculous arguments/conversations in my head, especially in the “think tank” (shower). I have dreams about both of them not leaving me alone. I fear succeeding as I don’t want their ‘spotlight’ on me. I completely put myself down. I’ve have been ill since I met him & my health has declined from constant stress, I have severely low iodine, low B12 & high cortisol. I avoid being social because I’m not a very outgoing person anyway, & my ex & his partner (the last one he cheated on me with) are a big part of the same community, so therefore I feel isolated in my own home town. They’ve stalked me, twice she did a U-turn & followed me to the supermarket, driving past my home (I now live with my parents so they stopped), following the kids from school & grilling them about where I am, what I’m doing, etc. My ex admitted he has her inform him- eg. I took pics of our child at an event she was also at & within 30mins he texts me demanding copies of the pics. It has left me wondering what I did wrong? I didn’t make him cheat/lie/manipulate in the first place. He gaslighted me constantly & they both have started gaslighting the kids. He’s always put himself on a pedestal. There’s times he leaves me alone, or he just can’t get dirt due to the low profile I keep, but he’ll eventually find something, big or small. All I want is to communicate about pick up/drop off times. But he gets mad about ridiculous things, demands respect, which triggers my anxiety & causes a sudden downward spiral, my chest hurts, hands shake & sometimes I cry. I hope to find a new counselor who understands Narcissistic abuse. Thanks for reading, GG.