Afraid of closeness with my therapist

veronica20

I have been going to therapy since early this year 2026. My therapist is extremely kind and compassionate and smart. Almost every session (2-3 weeks apart) leaves me exhausted but also changed. History of childhood emotional neglect. I am afraid of the closeness that is developing as I foresee immense grief when this stops. Does anyone have thoughts on how to manage this?

indigo22

Hi veronica20,

I am so glad you have reached out again.

I think it is quite normal to feel the closeness you are referring to. I may be wrong, but I am guessing this is the first time you have really felt heard and received compassion for what you have been through. A therapist comes to know you at a deeper level than most other people ever will so it stands to reason that there will be a level of closeness between you.

It sounds like your therapist is using the right set of tools to help you and if that continues as it has been, there will come a time when you will no longer need that support. When you can stand on your own and give yourself the compassion you needed from your therapist. Sometimes we can confuse the relationship with our therapist and see them as a trusted friend rather than a trusted mentor.

If it continues to concern you, I would suggest talking with your therapist about your feelings as they may be able to offer you some strategies so it doesn't get in the way of the therapy you are doing together.

I hope this helps a little, please feel free to continue this conversation any time you wish.

Try not to overthink things,

indigo 💜

veronica20

Thank you indigo 22. Trying not to overthink is really good advice - I tend to want to understand and pin down the process instead of just trusting to it. I don't see my therapist as a potential friend or lover but I also can't imagine not having him as part of my life