Grief, the deaths of loved ones, and the gradual attempts at moving on.

[Ember_Glow]

I know 11 poeple who have died. From 2015 to this year, 2016. I'm only 16. It's too much. I try to count them. I can't let myself forget them. If I do then it's like they've never lived at all and thats not fair to them. If theyre all dead why can't I be too? One of the ones that died (I'm gonna refer to them as K) was my mum's best friend. She was like a second mum to me. She was my best friends mum. She died on the 7t of May, 2022. It has been over 4 years. Her husband has moved on. He has a new partner now. The partner is pregnant. It feels like  it's too soon. I can't cope. My bestfriend is gonna have a stepbrother. He already has a llittle brother (2 years younger than us). It's too much. It's too soon. It feels like theyre moving on. Forgetting her. And I'm stuck in the past. Unable to fully forget. Unable to move on. How do I get through this? I wanna be happy again. 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Ember_Glow,
 
Thank you for sharing here. We are so deeply sorry to hear of how many losses that you have experienced over this time, especially when you’re only 16 yourself. It is completely valid to feel that it is all too much.

Grief is really tricky. While there is no ‘right’ way to grieve, it can feel confronting when it feels like others are moving on too quickly.

You are allowed to have moments of joy and thing in your life that you enjoy, while also still deeply remembering and honouring people you have lost. Of course, it can take some time to feel those moments, but giving yourself permission to spend some time doing some things you enjoy is important for your wellbeing. We can see you have another thread where you share your poetry and writing – this in itself is a wonderful way to channel what you are feeling into something creative.

Is there anything that comes to mind when you think about doing something nice for yourself, even something small?

Is there anyone in your life you can talk about this with? If you ever want to talk, you are always welcome to reach out to Headspace via webchat https://www.eheadspace.org.au/ or over the phone on 1800 650 890  Another great option is Kids Helpline - available via webchat on https://kidshelpline.com.au/ or over the phone on1800 55 1800 ReachOut also have some great articles on experiencing grief and loss as a young person.

Thank you again for being here. we hope that you can treat yourself gently as you navigate through these feelings. We’re here for you whenever you want to share.
 
Kind regards
Sophie M
 

[Ember_Glow]

Thank you so much Sophie_M. This means so much. I do have a therapist that I see every 2 to 3 weeks or so. And I frequent sites like Most. I also can talk to many of my friends and my mum about it so I do have a vast support network which is good. 

About the little nice things, I like to write, but also take walks, and sit in my garden and talk to my chooks. I like to paint and read. What especially helps me is to listen to music, or call one of my friends when im going through a particuarly tough time. 

Thank you again Sophie M.

Ember