Trying to change my mindset at work to be happy again

[Louise__]

Hello,
I’ve been increasingly struggling to be happy, mainly at work, but it’s starting to make me feel unhappy all the time now, and I’m not sure really what I’ve done wrong or to cause this mindset. I love my job. I am lucky to work with great mentors and have opportunities to learn and grow. Just before Christmas, I applied and interviewed for a job which I had been acting in for 18 months. During that time, on many occasions, I was congratulated on my work and promised I would be rewarded when an opportunity presented itself. I think I feel like it was implied the job was mine, and the recruitment process was a formality. Well, I got an interview, and I don’t interview well, I get super nervous and my brain just gets confused and I panic. But I didn’t think this interview was so bad, but I didn’t get the job. They told me 10 minutes before I left for Christmas break. I felt very hurt and unvalued, and mulled over the whole situation for most of the holidays. I got to a point where I was determined to go back to work, put my head down, do my job, and wait for a new opportunity. I went back to work, and had no work to do! They had restructured the team and taken all the work I had been doing off me. I felt like I’d gone from a leader in the team to being discarded. I still tried to make the most of it, and be happy. But with every day that passed I have been getting a duller and duller and I’m starting to feel bitter. The new starters joined the team, and I know it’s not their fault the outcome is this, but I am finding it very hard to be enthusiastic about the changes. I’m normally very good with change, I embrace it and champion whatever cause is on this week. I am looking for new jobs, but need to stay here until I find something. I just want to be happy again. I am not sure how to change my mindset at work? And I don’t want my emotion to creep into my home life and make me feel low all the time. I have thought about talking to my GP, but I don’t know that she would be able to help?

Thank you for reading my (long) post. I feel even a bit better already just having written it down.

[blondguy]

Hi Louise**

Welcome and good on you for having the courage to post too!

I understand your situation after having to take a back seat especially after doing the role prior to the results of the interviews. My situation was no different and yes...it hurts

Can I ask you if you have a manger/supervisor that you get along with reasonably well? If you do having a chat with them will bring some relief when you mention that you thought you were a good candidate for the job

Your managers are meant to approachable if their staff have a question or just a chat too.

You will be happy again Louise once you have a chance to discuss this annoying problem. Not discussing it can make the issue worse as time goes by

Good on you too for saying that you felt better after writing your post 🙂 You feeling better....even a little is why we are here

You are not alone at all here and thankyou for the great post too

My Kind thoughts

Paul

[Louise__]

Thank you for your reply Paul.

I have the support of my managers, I'm very lucky. My Assistant Director has given me side projects to help, and it is good to have a distraction, but the issue is still there. My manager and supervisor are both sympathetic and don't support what has happened, but no one can change what one senior manager has done. She has now left that job, so she doesn't even see what the outcome is. And my supervisor and manager are now in a different team, so that is also a change that we are all getting used to.

I want to be supportive of my new team. They are new, they need my business knowledge and I'm not the person who holds grudges, in fact I am fast to forgive and forget. But I'm finding it hard to rise above the feeling that I have been cheated out of something that I worked so hard for and I earnt. Maybe it's a time thing, And if that's the case, I hope time hurry's up, because this isn't me, and I don't like feeling this way.

Thank you again for your reply. I am sorry to read you went through the same situation.