the struggle gets worse

[Xtron]

hi

ive been suffering from depression for most of my life but didn't realise it until I was diagnosed roughly 3 years ago, since then I have been on medication and saw a counsellor at one point.

it's getting to the point where I feel nothing helps and I feel like im

useless, everyday feels like a struggle and ive found ive become very distant from family and friends avoiding any social interaction where I can. theres even days I cannot bring myself to go to work and even got fired from my previous job for that reason, I got a new job but still am finding it hard to get up to go. and the past few weeks I feel I have fallen deeper in the hole of depression, its a struggle to even be happy and it seems I have to keep a fake happiness appearance to not let people know.

for the past year on and off I even turned to smoking pot to try and suppress these intense feelings even though I know its only making things worse. im trying to cut drugs out and seek real help, ive let this depression get out of hand and it wasn't until today I realised I really need to seek further help. I went to my gp to get help with a mental help plan but he didn't seem to want to do anything so im now searching for a new gp.

is there any advise out there to try and keep it under control? its to a point where I have no control over my own feelings and found myself

balling my eyes out today for no apparent reason and couldn't shake that feeling for a few hours until my wife came home from work to comfort me and help seek support.

thank you 

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[geoff]

dear Xtron, I'm so sorry that your post has slipped through the cracks, and this can happen when we have a number of people coming to the site at once, so I have to apologise.

There are many words on how to describe depression but they aren't appropriate for this site nor will they be published, but we all know what they are, and there's no dispute about this.

Firstly I agree you have to change your GP, so please click under 'Get Support' at the top of this page where you will be able to to find a doctor who will help you.

This list of doctors are aligned with BB and deal specially with those suffering from any type of depression, so you will be able to find one close to you, and then they will put you on a mental help plan, which would be able to assist you with your current concern.

When nothing seems to be working that's when we turn to self medication, mine was alcohol, and yours is smoking pot, in hindsight I now know that it won't help, it actually increases our problem, but we get caught up because we continue and the spiral downwards, so we end up in a catch-22 situation.

As your current doctor won't help you with a mental plan then maybe the medication he/she has given you is not the correct one, so I would suggest that when you find a new doctor that they review it for you.

I'm also not sure whether you are capable of working at the moment, I realise that you may not have any sick leave entitlement but money is always a problem, so maybe you can let us know.

I'm so sorry that you are now faced with a difficult task, but please keep us informed. Geoff.