Hi Diver_1
I'd have to say one of the hardest things to do at times is navigate life's paths. I think, while we can be given a number of tools or skills to throw into our backpack before setting off independently in life, as you go along you can find so much that's missing. In that backpack there can be tips on financial management, the basics on social manners and how to get along with people, self grooming tips etc etc, it's not until you get to some fork in the road or some set of crossroads that you realise 'I don't have the skills/tools/knowledge I really need right now, more than ever'.
It sounds like you know where the path you've been on has finally led you to. Perhaps it's become completely clear, now that you're at the end or coming to the end of this path. Do you feel one of the new ones you face could be the path of greater self understanding? Could it involve understanding a lot of the emotions you've been trying to manage and make sense of up to now? Could a chance to explore them really begin when you open the flood gates? Do you have anyone who can explore with you, a guide on this new path? Perhaps a friend, partner, mental health practitioner or someone else? Sounds like a lot is on the verge of coming out for you to make greater sense of.
I've found there are times where I hold no clear vision of the future and that's partly based on me needing to focus on and make sense of where I am right now. I suppose you could say if I had a crystal ball covered in the muck and emotions of the past, my task right now is not to see the future through that crystal ball, my task is to clean it while developing the skills of a seer at the same time, skills that were never given to me to begin with. Gaining clarity is a skill few of us are ever taught yet it is one that can be developed. In the meantime, I remain a gal who struggles with gaining clarity but that's okay because I'm in the process of learning. And while the process can be somewhat depressing at times, that's okay too because I'm trying and that's something to be proud of.
