Hi mocha delight
You definitely sound overwhelmed at the moment. Nothing quite like some new challenges (the COVID business) mixed in with some old challenges (feeling self love and facing medical issues) to really push us to the brink of a lot of questioning. It can feel pretty soul destroying when the answers always seem to be just over the horizon.
How much easier life would be if we had a brain that simply worked like a computer. If each challenge was like some math equation, solved easily, life would be pretty straight forward. The fact that we're emotional creatures definitely complicates things, on top of the fact that we're often naturally looking to question, so as to evolve. More questions than answers can do our head in.
I find that upsetting dreams touch on an interesting aspect of self. Often, recalling such trips into our sleeping state can offer greater clarity in our waking state. Give you a couple of examples:
- My dad once recalled a nightmare he'd had which involved him attending his own funeral. You can imagine this was pretty upsetting. He couldn't make sense of it and wondered if this was more of a premonition than anything else. I asked him whether he felt like he was putting the past to rest in any way or whether he felt like an old aspect of himself had died. He was quite surprised when he admitted he was starting a new phase of his life without even realising. He became pretty excited about his new life and officially put his old life to rest
- A friend of mine often had a dream about a busy train station. She'd find herself on a platform, watching others jumping on trains, going where they need to go but she'd just stand there overwhelmed and stressed. The train dream would always leave her upset upon waking. I asked her whether she was lacking direction in life, on top of lacking the confidence in choosing which way she needed to go. She admitted she envied others who always seemed to have direction. She believed she couldn't trust herself, to be able to make the right decisions regarding direction. She was stuck, always wishing she could move forward. She began to make more conscious decisions in order to map out her life
I wonder whether your nightmares are offering you greater clarity. I know, pretty hard to get clarity out of such a cryptic experience (dreaming).
mocha, it's important to remember that while you're rising to challenges, you're actually loving yourself back to life. I know it may not always feel like it.
🙂
