My life with depression anxiety and addiction

[Razza586]

"Looking back i should have begun therapy years ago"

How does one self beat the dark life of depression? Anxiety and addiction.

Im a 29 y.o male who lives with depression anxiety addiction and probably psychosis. Sounds horrible to say but thats the reality. shh keep it to yourself 😉 haha

I dont find it comfortable living with any of those 'disorders' its very challenging and at times dibilitating. I am currently out of work and am feeling very sorry for myself. If i was a paraplegic or have some physical issue people would understand. This depression n that - no body knows what your going through. You can try to discribe it to a trusted individual but they still may not fully understand. Pit gets to a point where people are fed up in my life. Its the same old story over and over again. I must say its no walk in the park.

To give you some insite i basically lost everything. Friends the girlfriend job - the list goes on. With my depression i developed an addictive side which became a full time gig. Anything addictive ive probably been there. Now its a time in my life with alot of my old friends are now getting married, have the house on the hill, kids etc and im still struggling to get out of bed. I often choose not tk. I hate waking up - nothing excites me when in the depths of depression. This whole fuck it additude has been going for to long and its time to break free. Time moves so fast that before we know it lifes finished. Its a scary thought.

Really dont knkw where im going with all of this but i dunno where lucky now days that people are aware of mentalillness and kind of understand what a pain in the arse it can be. I really hope one day this sarga of addiction (terrible coping stradegy) jail rehabs un employment bad relationships can all come to an end. Going to try CBT hopefully that can get us out of this mess. I wish you all the best and have a happy life.

[Starwolf]

Hi Razza, good to meet you.

Kudos to you for reaching out to tell your story. Revealing desperation takes courage...well done.

Living with mental/emotional conditions can indeed be desperately difficult. Depression and anxiety are difficult for sufferers to understand. More so for those around them as they don't fit in with logical, reasonable patterns. This makes attempts at explanations very difficult. It is helpful if we can provide printed info. This can be ordered free of charge from the Get Support section at the bottom of this page.

Useful tips on discussing mental illness can be found by copying this link into your browser :

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/have-the-conversation/talk-about-it#findwords

Complex problems are best managed when broken into small pieces. Taking good care of yourself is a priority. Addiction is a dreadful scourge. It doesn't help us cope with reality, only gives the temporary illusion we can escape from it. In the long run, it is harmful to body, mind and spirit. It also keeps those away who would otherwise get close and chases away those who are. Definitely a blight to be eliminated from life. Easier said than done but not impossible (been there, done that).

The urge to compare ourselves with others is tempting but best left by the way side. We're all different and face different challenges. All we can do is progress along our own life path, one small step after the other. They will gradually accumulate into long distance travel. Now that you have started therapy, both your feet are firmly on the path. It can be a long rocky road but -with persistence, support and professional help- you can bring order to chaos and reclaim some well-deserved quality of life and peace of mind.

Here for you.

[geoff]

hi Razza, you're right it's not easy to live with any type of depression, adding in an addiction, and what this is I suppose doesn't really matter, because alcohol, drug or weed do the same, except that one of these is legal, but there's a reason why we need to use any of these and that's to fill a gap or to numb our depression.
Once you start comparing yourself with your mates, then a problem can begin, because they may have 'the house on the hill', 2 cars, 3 kids whereas you don't have anything, so you will instantly start to feel as though your life is hopeless, so an addiction starts so as to make you feel better, but it's only for a short time and it costs money.
Some people find it so difficult to want to try and understand anything about mental illness, and even when they may get it they could be in denial and refuse any help.
Jail rehab isn't going to stop your addiction, nor will you be able to hold down a job, but you need money to pay for your addiction, plus any relationship won't last if your partner doesn't have any addiction, so now all of this puts into a real bind.
CBT will help you but it's your addiction which worries me, so I'd like to know a bit more about what it is, so that more advice can be given to you, remember some of us have been in a situation like you are in, which means I have been, so I want to talk with you about this more, that's if you want to. Geoff.

[Razza586]

G'day guys. Thanks for getting in touch and sharing good advice and support. I'll be sure to get in greater depths Geoff when I got the strength to dive into the reality I'll be sure to open up. Thanks talk to you soon 🙂