I think I need some advice.

[M Hadrian]

Hi everyone.

I think I need some advice.

I recently lost my loved one due to Demetia progression and a lack of support at the care facility.

Once I discovered what was happening I tried to help them as best I could, but it was too late and the damage could not be undone.

I have subsequently been diagnosed with depression and I havn't been able to return to work.

I am taking anti-depressants for the first time in my life, but am so tired all the time now and shrugging to do anything useful and have lost interest in nearly everything.

Any advice would be good thanks.

[geoff]

Hello Hadrian, and a warm welcome to the forums.

Losing a friend to dementia may be progressive and if you see them every day the changes may be slow and the excuses may be viable only until the next day when they wake up and have no recollection of who you are or why they are there, that's so sad to remember, once ago, they were able to achieve so much and brilliant on their own.

The result of this can cause someone to suffer from depression, although I'm not a qualified doctor, but know from experience this to happen, and it may also happen slowly where you believe you might achieve something today but put it off until tomorrow, for different reasons like you don't have the energy.

Can I ask you, and please only answer if you want to, I was just how long you have been taking the AD's, as our body has to adjust and not everybody is the same as some have no trouble, while others notice the side-effects, no one can determine what reaction you'll have, but do know that being tired is certainly.

Not being interested, is the depression talking, all what you loved to do, in the past, doesn't appeal anymore, this is something you'll be able to overcome, whether it's rekindling your own interests or whether it's finding new avenues, one way or another it will eventually happen, but no one knows when this will happen, it's trying to keep that thought in the back of your mind, even those awful days when you think it's impossible, write them down if you can and put it somewhere you can find on a better day, but never give up that hope.

Please remember to keep in contact with your doctor, regarding the medication and tell them how you are feeling.

Hope you can stay with us on the site.

Geoff.

[M Hadrian]

Hi Geoff,
Thank you for your reply and understanding.

Like does happen in life and death, I've lost family and freinds over the past couple of years. Recently I lost my 2 best freinds, another family member and then my father in a short period. Pardon the expression, but I was the one who basically had to "pull the plug' on 2 of them.

I know it's just life, and others experience far worse trauma, but the sadness and horror I feel is real for me and has got me so low that I'm wondering what's it all for.

I've been on the A.D.s for almost 2 weeks now.

[ecomama]

Dear M Hadrian, a very warm welcome to the forums. I hope you find this space comforting and supportive. This is a safe space for you to share.

I'm really glad you're here.

It seems that you've dealt with a number of very serious blows with the losses of those close to you in very rapid succession.

Have you considered Grief Counselling? It could be immeasurably helpful during this time as you navigate through the deep grief you're suffering from, with very good reasons also.
I'm surprised your GP hasn't mentioned Counselling when scoring you for ADs?

Most Counselling services offer phone appointments atm. Have a think about it.

It is possible to recover from the losses of loved ones we incur.

One of the ways that helps is self-care.
It seems far too mild but research shows it's one of the key actions of the most resilient people after traumatic periods.

Lastly which should have come first, please accept my sincerest condolences for the passing of those you loved and were so close to for the duration of your life.

I Pray you can find hope in our words of support for a life well worth living, because yours is.

Love EM

[mocha delight]

Hi m Hadrian I’m so sorry to hear about all the people you’ve lost I’ve been on antidepressants since the end of June last year but it 4-6 weeks for them to be working completely. I lost my grandma a few days before I had a appointment to see my gp to talk to my gp about my issues and I think it was the day after or 2 days after most I started on the antidepressants. And as it was so soon before seeing my go I remember breaking down into tears over it during my appointment & since then I’ve been so numb plus I feel like I feel nothing about her passing still to this day so I might still be in shock about or just my mind has subconsciously pushed right back to the back I don’t know so who knows but it’s never easy losing someone.

[geoff]

Hello M Hadrian, I am so deeply sorry you were put in a position like this and it must be a difficult situation for you I can only imagine and if I can just say, it reminds me so much when my Dad put Mum into a nursing home only because he was having an affair with their next door neighbour, there was no cause for this to happen, so I take what you've said with great emotion.

Try and extend the AD to about 4 to 6 weeks, then I really hope it gives you some relief and if not then please visit your doctor to review the position you are in.

If you can, please stay with us on the forums, we'd really like to know how you are going because it does concern us.

Take care.

Geoff.

[M Hadrian]

Hi Em, thanks for your kind words, welcome and advice.

The Dr did suggest I see a psychologist/ counseller, not a grief counseller though.

I was reluctant at first as I did not want to admit I needed to, but I now realise the way I feel, any help is worth trying, so I've been to see one and booked another session in for the near future.

In the mean time the phone appointment for grief counselling sounds like good idea. I'll look into it, thank you.

[M Hadrian]

Hi mocha,

Thanks for sharing your experience.

Yes, I broke down at the Drs too.

I'm sorry for your loss too.

[M Hadrian]

Hi Geoff, thanks for sharing that and I'm sorry to hear that happened to your Mum.

I'll stick with the ADs as you've suggested and keep in touch with the Dr and this Forum.

Thanks again.

[geoff]

Hello M Hadrian, thanks for getting back to us.

Try not to expect a miracle to happen, the AD's will slowly work into your system and you may change a bit each day, which you might not recognise and please let us know.

Best wishes.

Geoff.