I'm not sure if I'm depressed again

[Rainn]

I went off my medication and stoped seeing my theripast last year because my parents pressured me to. I chose to in the end because I was too anxious at the the sessions with my therapist and never ended up improving anything. My parents complained about the cost of therapy and told me that the drugs weren't helping me and were actually unhealthy. I'm scared to tell them how scared and sad I feel all the time for no reason. I act normal and try not to show it and everyone has been telling me how much better I'm doing. But I'm really not enjoying anything and I spend so much time mulling over trying to find joy in anything I never really feel happy. I always want to go out with my friends but when I do I feel like I'm searching for a feeling that isn't there anymore and feel isolated from them. I'm not sure if I would be able to go back on medication or see a therapist again but I'm not really sure how to feel good about myself either. I keep taking on new projects and trying my hardest to help people but it's hard because I feel so alone and no one really wants to help. It's scary talking about it because I feel like when I told people last time they treated me different and my parents tell me how happy they are that I'm better. I don't feel better. I dont really know what to do. But I don't feel like it's going to get better soon. It's so hard to get up for school in the morning and the whole day I'm just waiting to come home. I'm tired all the time and I can't sleep at night feeling like this. I don't understand any reason why I could feel this number empty or alone mabye I'm just making up that I'm depressed. I'm going to school fine and I'm not failing classes anymore. I'm so confused and scared I don't really know what to do. I feel like no one really likes me no matter what they say and nothing I do is right no matter how well I go or what people say about the end result. It's so exhausting. I just want to give up. Sorry I don't really know how to end this or how to post on a thread but I would appreciate some advice

[geoff]

Hello Rainn, please let me welcome you to the site.

From what you have told us is that your parents don't want you to take your medication anymore because' you look much better now' and the drugs are unhealthy, as well as the sessions are too expensive.

A couple of options, ask to see your doctor but take your parents or at least one of them with you, the doctor can explain to them what you are going through in a professional way.

The other option is to contact Reachout online, Kids Helpline this covers people under 25 years old on 1800 55 1800 or you chat online with them between 8 am to 12 am or the BB on 1300 22 4636.

You know how you are feeling so please get the help you need.

Geoff.