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I had it all together... Today I fell apart
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I've had a rough year but so far I have manged to stay positive and get through each day.
I am not sure what happened today, it was like a lightening bolt of emotion struck me. As I run with tears streaming down my face, I dropped to the grass and stared up at the Sky wishing I would just disappear or a giant hole would open up and swallow me. My heart hurts.
Not sure why I am posting, guess I just want to know if this has happened to anyone else? Am I losing the plot?
Thanks for reading
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Hi Little K,
Sometimes it takes just one more thing to set a person off. You mentioned you have had a tough year. You may be feeling tired and have little strength to push yourself right now.
Crying can be great therapy. Tears help to let go of stress and tension.
If you don't mind me asking, have you told your Dr how you are feeling? Have you been to a counsellor at all to talk things through?
You are not loosing the plot. Just a couple of days ago I was feeling really miserable. I didn't know what to do with myself and I was snapping at my husband.
For me, being outside helps. So I went into the garden and pulled up a lot of weeds. The physical activity, being in the fresh air, then having the satisfaction of pulling up a heap of weeds helped me to feel better.
Some people find benefit in having a bath, reading a book, colouring in, writing poetry or just writing, going for a walk or a run, phoning a friend, cooking, cleaning, being involved in arts and crafts or what ever else it may be that can distract your mind for a while.
Hopefully others will share times when they have felt like this and how they manage to get back on track again.
Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools
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Hi Little K
Sorry to hear you feel like you have fallen apart today. I know myself along with many other BB users have experienced the same feeling as you. Even thought I have had a hectic year I have felt like have held it all together, than one day I feel like I can not handle it and I just stay in bed doing nothing.
I just want you to know that tomorrow is a different day and hopefully the feelings will reduce by tomorrow. If not there is always support and people in a similar boat to you hear on BB forums. There is also a chat online you can access here on the bottom left hand side of this web page.
To get through the day maybe watch one of your favourite tv shows or hang out with friends. I find distraction helps me to get through the pain that depression gives me on a bad day.
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Hi Little K,
I'm sorry to hear that you experienced this overwhelming psychological pain today. Sometimes anxiety, fear and negative emotions build up and are released all at once, which can be frightening. For me personally, my fears and negative emotions are more dispersed over time. Everyone experiences psychological/life distress differently.
Going to your doctor (GP) for a referral to a counsellor or psychologist is an option. If you have seen a professional before, going back to them for a top-up session is a good idea. I'm not sure whether you consider today's outpouring of emotion to be a panic attack. Here are some resources you may like to save and refer to:
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=44 (panic attacks)
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=54 (tolerating distress)
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=37 (depression)
If you need to talk to someone understanding at any stage, Beyondblue's 24/7 helpline is available on 1300 22 4636.
Best wishes,
Zeal
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Hi again Little K,
The posts from Mrs Dools and Ms Purple didn't appear until after I sent my post, and I'm glad we've each given you slightly different advice. Having different perspectives helps.
All the best,
Zeal
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Wow. Thanks so much Mrs Dool, Ms Purple and Zeal for your thought responses.
I have seen a psychologist in the past and will do if I continue to feel like this.
The thing that gets me this week as actually been really good, and nothing much was happening today then Bam lightening bolt to the heart.
I have been through so much in my life why is today when nothing happens I loss it.
Mrs Dool, I love cooking and gardening and find it very relaxing I have used those in the past might Cook up a storm tkmorrow
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Hi Little K,
Hope you enjoy your cooking!
I made a cake for my niece's Birthday. It did not turn out anything like I had hoped it would. Once I had finished icing it, the cake looked dreadful. Thankfully we have some roses in the garden, so I picked some of those for on top of the cake and for on the plate. It looked okay after that!
This morning I managed to do some more weeding. I try to appreciate all the work I have done in the garden and not look too closely at the other million weeds that still need pulling up!
In the afternoon I tried to do a couple of paintings. They did not work out, so as I got rid of them, I decided to think of them as practise projects! Another one might be salvageable! Ha. Ha. I will try again tomorrow.
I understand the unexpected days when you feel like rubbish. The thing is to find ways to pick yourself up again!
Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools
