How Did this happen? Why Did this happen?

[Kaypatch]

How did I get to this place? I am 63 years old and I am sad, I feel lonely and I guess depressed. I have started to see a therapist however my background is that I was always told by my peers that things happen along the way and you just deal with it and pick yourself back up and get on with it. But nobody told me about ageing and loneliness. I have a gorgeous family (who have put me through the wringers throughout the years, but have all bounced back and are healthy and reasonably happy) I have lovely friends as well. But I am sad, just incredibly sad and crying right now. I am normally in control but lately have felt more out of control than a bus with no breaks! Does this ever pass? One day I am OK one day I am sad and crying - actually most days lately. I feel like I don't want to go out - I don't want to put on a happy face - I don't want to see other peeps and families out being happy. Maybe I am just being a selfish human? Thanks for listening.

[Gambit87]

Hi Kaypatch,

Welcome to the forums and good on you for reaching out!

I often think the same thing! I've got a beautiful girlfriend, amazing family and friends, a stable job, debt free etc etc - I have a good life - why has depression/anxiety/OCD hit me like a tonne of bricks? ok, to be fair I kinda know why, for years I just repressed my feelings, just put it down to having bad days and just got on with it.

Being hit with depression has forced me to face my problems! I'm seeing a psychologist and practicing a lot of self care. Its hard because you don't want to do anything most days, you don't want to see people etc but as soon has you start getting back out there, little by little it does get a easier.

Im glad you are seeing a therapist! They help so much!

[Kaypatch]

Thank you Gambit87's,

I appreciate your kind words which I do understand as well. It is such a new thing to me and my therapist also suggested, as you have done, was that I suppressed and suppressed and sat on things that should have been dealt with but my people pleasing 'skills' would jump in and that would mean helping others and not me first. I will take your advice and make little steps slowly - just want to feel like a normal human feels, happy and healthy. Take care of yourself

[RJ_3]

Hi Kaypatch

I understand where you're coming from. Some days everything feels okay and the next, for no apparent reason, it all just feels too hard and sad and I don't want to go out or do anything either. I just can't see the point in anything. It definitely passes but sometimes it comes back again, then that passes too. When I make myself go out and about at these times (even though I desperately don't want to) I actually find that seeing other people being happy and doing their thing helps. But like I said, I 100% understand where you're coming from and I think we'll be okay xx

[Gambit87]

Hi kaypatch

I can definitely relate to putting others before yourself! my partner described it as putting someone else's oxygen mask on first before you put yours on! I always put others before myself but as my partner put it - you cant pour from an empty glass. You need to look after yourself first.

Its a very new experience for me aswell but this is just a blip and we'll get through this!

[Kaypatch]

Thank you so very much RJ#3,

It is nice to know that I don't feel so alone with these feelings. And I would like to get to a point where I can feel confident and not so sad. The sadness is tearing me apart. I hope that you also can come to a happy place soon and with all the support and help here on this forum it is definitely a comfort if only for a day or so.

[geoff]

Hello Kaypatch, we are not 100 % sure why we get to this stage in our life, there maybe triggers, uneventful occasions or perhaps situations which lead us down this terrible track in life, times when only we can do is guess, but then that maybe incorrect, which may then lead us down another unknown, confusing us entirely.

I can only feel sorry for you, simply because how can you just 'pick yourself up' you can't unless you have someone who has the knowledge and understanding and/or experience to guide you in another direction.

Please don't ever think you are being self-fish, our life does change when we do become elderly, and I say this because I'm 65 and do hope to hear back from you.

Best wishes.

Geoff.