Help

[Average_Moe]

This is the first time on the forums and was hoping can help and/or share similar experiences in how they are feeling if like me.

I'm married to a loving wife, have two beautiful children, I have a high paying and secure job. I am never happy, always focus on the negative aspects and something deep down just doesn't feel right. I am fit and healthy have a few good friend and close family but I always seem miserable. At work, I get the job done and am smiling and nice to everyone, I'm well liked in the workplace and in friendship circles. Laughing at something and/or having fun is a distant memory. I can't remember the last time that had happened. This week, I was presented with a new job offer that was retracted because the hiring manager took a negotiation email out of context and I missed out on a perfect job. I've never been more heartbroken and disappointed in my life. Separately, I lost a work colleague and friend last week to cancer who 38 years old with two young kids and i'm trying to put things into perspective, but it's really difficult. I have let myself down and my family as I am always striving for perfection and being the best (careerwise) like I have something to prove to someone but I don't know who it is or why. My wife and kids are my biggest supporters. Something not right but i'm not sure if it's depression. I'm just not happy

[geoff]

Hello Average Moe, welcome to the forums, and with any mental illness, it doesn't matter how much you have in life that would seem strange not to be feeling well, it can grab anybody for no apparent or particular reason and you can't understand why, however, from what you've told us, there are causes to make you feel this way.

The prospect of being able to accept this job offer would have been something you deserved, unfortunately the hiring manager mistook an email, so the offer was retracted, resulting in great disappointment, this in itself could only be adding to how you were originally feeling, then the loss of a friend, which I'm so terribly sorry for.

I can't actually say whether or not you have depression, but from my experience, I'm allowed to suggest that yes, you certainly seem to be suffering from this disorder, so can I advise you to visit your doctor, they maybe able to you time off due to what's happened with your manager and also ask you whether or not any other bullying has taken place, and if so, then these need to be written down and kept, just for any future other correspondence.

Would like to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[sunnyl20]

Hi Average Moe,

Welcome to the forums. I'm really sorry to hear that you have been struggling with your mood. It sounds like things have been feeling pretty awful. Please know that you are not alone - these experiences (of low mood and an inability to feel pleasure) can happen to anyone, irrespective of socioeconomic/cultural background and what they do or don't have in their life. It can be useful to put things in perspective, but sometimes as you mentioned things just doesn't feel right and can really be having a significant impact on your quality of life and functioning.

I would encourage you to see your GP about what you are experiencing - it may or may not be depression, but the low mood and the not being able to experience pleasure or enjoyment sound like things you want to change and need to tell someone about.

It is wonderful that you have the support of your wife and children - they sound like great sources of strength for you. I hope that you are able to find the guidance and support that you are looking for. Please don't hesitate to reach out on the forums whenever you feel up to it, we are here to listen. Take care.