Having a hard time

[BEP19]

I dont know how to put this and i hope it makes sense. Im just down and out. Im feeling like everyone hates me and i am putting my self down every day. I feel alone as it feels my friends do not want anything to do with me. I hang around people and i am constantly thinking whether or not they hate me or have an issue with me, trying to please them and ensure they are happy. I have nothing to be depressed about.. i have a loving family, a roof over my head and a job. So feeling this way makes me feel like a drama queen. I feel like im not winning and just ruining everyone's day. I have lost who i am. I just want to run away and hide and never come out. Its just hard waking up and dealing with what the day brings me.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[Alannah57]

Hi, I just wanted to say that I hope you feel better and that everything becomes more positive, and I’m sending positive energy your way

[White_Rose]

Hello BEP19

I am sorry you are feeling so down. It can be very hard to believe in yourself and know you are a worthwhile person with lots to offer your friends and family. You need to understand and accept that you cannot make people happy. It's not your job. Everyone is responsible for their own well-being. Trying to please everyone eventually leads you to the place you are in now.

You cannot know what your friends are thinking unless they tell you and I gather that has not happened. You say you are not depressed but the symptoms you have described sound very much like depression. Waking to each day in dread, putting yourself down as though you have no worth, afraid to talk about what is upsetting you. I am so pleased you reached out here for help. It's a good first step.

People often say they have nothing to be depressed about but the reality is that depression sneaks in the front door without any invitation. It does not matter if you live an ideal life or are on the streets, depression can hit you like a ton of bricks. It sounds as though this is what has happened to you. Depression is controlling your brain and making you think you are unwanted and uncared for which most certainly untrue.

I think you should make an appointment with your GP ASAP and tell her/him how you feel. Be upfront with what's happening as you will get help more quickly. We can support you on the forum but posts take time to appear and be responded to.

Read about depression and understand how it works. Go to The Facts at the top of the page and navigate from there.You can complete the K10 depression checklist and see what score you have. Print it out and take it to your GP. It's not a full diagnostic tool but very useful to medical people as it shows which way you are going. Download or print some of the fact sheets to read. You will see that depression is no respecter of people and bounces in wherever it wants.

It seems very unfair to be hit by this illness when there is nothing wrong with you or your lifestyle. One day we may figure out why this happens but for now let us help you to get well. Keep on posting here and talk about all the things that make you feel sad and unwanted. Please see your GP soon.

Mary

[JacintaMarie]

Hi Bep19

I know how you feel, I feel the same, I have everything to be happy but I feel worse, I feel stupid & think that everyone thinks I'm useless, you should go to your GP. I usually have to go through the bad feelings & "exhaust" myself before I'm better.

[Nad73]

What you are saying resonates a lot with me. You have a loving family and a job. Right now a lot of people don't have that so you think Ï should be counting my blessings and many people are worse off than me"so you begin to feeling stupid about your feelings and that they are not valid. There is often guilt for feeling this way and I often think I must be weak for not handling things better at times. Some of these earlier posts have come very valid comments. I think depression is something that under certain conditions can invite itself regardless of your circumstances - Just like a virus - pardon the punch. The setting is just right for it to set in and this is what most likely has happened.

Can I ask you, did it improve for you at all when some of the restrictions were lifted?

[JacintaMarie]

Hi Nad

Thanks, to answer your question, the restrictions easing didn't make any difference, I've felt like this before the restrictions. I think my trigger is that I overthink & keep on thinking that there is a problem.

Thank you for your help

[Azza12]

If you ever want to talk I'm here