Feeling depressed and lonely

[Sla24-]

I have had depression for a long time now and have a lot of hurt and anger inside me from my past. My first baby was stillborn, I have been hurt by family members, in-laws and friends and lost my Mum a couple of years ago. Just feel so down and lonely 

[Sla24-]

Hi Indigo, thank you for your reply. That’s ok, we all need a hug sometimes. I will definitely have a look at some videos about hsp. No I haven’t really looked into online or zoom counselling yet. Yes, my sister is one very cruel and nasty piece of work, and my other sister is as bad too. I was so happy for my sisters when they had their children, and they were always so jealous and trying to cause trouble for me. Yes I know exactly what you mean, I could never be nasty to anyone, but everyone was nasty to me. My sisters, friends, my in laws, all just wanted to hurt me or cause trouble for me. I took it for years, just because I didn’t want to cause trouble or conflict. But you can only take so much and you think I can’t do this anymore, I am over being hurt. Yes you really find out who your true family and friends are when you go through a crisis. We both have had a lot of people hurt us throughout our life, and it has made me very weary of people and I don’t have many friends. I have 1 really good friend, who I can trust and she is very caring and understanding, and we are always there for each other. We have been friends for about 8 years. I don’t know what I would do without her. So sorry that your friends failed you, and you were always there for them. Yes we have to end these relationships, so it doesn’t destroy us completely. Our precious baby girl was stillborn at 37 weeks. I had preeclampsia really bad and between my Doctor and the nurses at the hospital, there was negligence on there behalf. Also the cord was around her neck really tight. I should have had a emergency C-section but they left me in labour for hours. What made it even harder, is that they all lied to cover themselves. It was the worst day of my life losing our first baby 🥲 We got photos with her, and spent time with her, she was so perfect and it was like a bad dream that I was waiting to wake up from 💔 We never once thought that we would lose our beautiful baby girl. Yes I know when you go through a lot of heartache, you have so much compassion, kindness and understanding for others. I know that I always have compassion for others when they lose someone. That’s so good that you are helping others. I am so glad that I am not like my awful sisters or my in-laws who are so hurtful and cruel, and my life has been so much better without them in it. Thank you again so much for your support and understanding, I really appreciate it. We have a lot in common and I find it really easy talking to you . Hope you are going ok 

[indigo22]

Hello Sla24,

I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am for the way things turned out for your little girl, a tragedy that it seems could have been avoided. It's no wonder you have been so heartbroken. Were you able to take any action for the neglect of the hospital staff?

I would like to think that she watches over you and orchestrated our connection so you would have a kindred soul to talk to.👼

I wanted to have children but I didn't want to have a child alone and I never ended up with a partner who I could start a family with. I just don't think it was on the cards for me in this lifetime and I am ok with that. My cats have been my children through the years and my current beautiful girl got me through a lot of very low times and managed to keep my heart open. She is nearly 15 now and I am a bit concerned with her health at present. She is the most kind and loving soul and I love her to pieces. The only family I have now is my older brother's children, a niece and nephew who are married and my nephew has 2 children (a son and daughter), I don't think children are on the cards for my niece and her husband due to fertility issues. My sister has 4 children (3 daughters and a son), and she managed to brainwash her daughters into seeing me as the wicked witch. They have been rude and hostile, even at my brothers' and mothers' funerals, so I just broke my ties with all of them. Her son did reach out through my niece, but I haven't made up my mind wether or not to trust his motives, I think I need a bit more time to think it over. The last thing I need in my life is more drama. I call my sister the "hurricane"😀 because she would blow in, cause chaos and destruction, then leave me to clean up the damage she caused. Does that sound at all familiar?

You haven't mentioned your father, is he still here? Please also tell about your other children and if you have any grandchildren as yet. I am so glad you have at least one friend you can rely on.

Talk again soon,

indigo