drowning

[MISSY1997]

i feel like I'm falling deeper into a hole. i am defiantly not the same person i use to be. i don't like this person, but i cant help it now. every day seems to be ground hog day and my thoughts on suicide are becoming more and more overpowering, driving to work it's the main thought. i feel blank i feel like life has been sucked right out of me. i am an empty shell. i dont like going out, i dont like seeing people, i don't like or want to do much of anything. i force myself to do all. My GPs are useless and i could talk to them about anything, they are a wait 3 hours 5 min conversation and get out, they do not care in the slightest. Everything cost money to get help.

my biggest joy most of the time is thinking what medications i have at home to make me feel like a zombie so i don't have to think, and i drift off to sleep. 

I am everyone elses support but no one is mine

i dont want to be here any more

[Sophie_M]

Hey MISSY, 

Thank you for sharing your story here. We're so sorry to hear you're feeling like this - feeling deep in a hole, and having thoughts about suicide that are getting more overpowering, and not feeling like you're being heard or helped by the GPs around you. That's hard. We're really glad you could reach out here, though. 

It sounds like you've taken some good steps in trying to speak to the GP about this, we're so sorry that hasn't got you the help you need just yet. We can hear these thoughts are happening a lot for you, so we'd really like to encourage you to give the Beyond Blue Support Service a call, to talk this all through. 

Another option would be ringing Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). They're both crisis lines, so you can call them at any point, and they're really good to speak to in those moments when the thoughts are feeling intense or overpowering.

Our community is here for you, and we’re sure they’ll spot your post soon enough and have some kind words and understanding for you. Thanks so much for sharing here, MISSY. If you'd like to share a bit more about what's been going on for you, we're here and we're listening.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[MISSY1997]

Hi Sophie, i haven't spoken to the GPs because they dont care when im there for other issues. and from those issues i feel like I'm a hypochondriac and only there there to get more medication, which is not the case.