Depression

[Caramelo_koala]

I'm depressed. Like really sad. I can't stop feeling angry hurt and sad. I also broke up my boyfriend of 3 years as he is immature, an alcoholic who is angry when sober or when he does any housework and is real lovey dovey when drunk. The kicker for me was him not wanting to pay half a bill. I don't know if my depression is caused from the break up as we are still living together, or maybe we broke up feom my depression?. I felt like this at the same time last year. Coincidence?
Or perhaps it's because I went off my antidepressant to try a smoking cessation drug 2 months ago, which is also meant to act as as an antidepressant.
I have no one to talk to. I've tried and no one is interested or they are too busy. I can't stop ruminating and that has turned into going over things that's happened years ago but it's making me feel bitter now.
My brain just won't stop! From wake up to sleep and it's waking me up at night with vomiting feelings in my gut, I have actually thrown up a few times over the last few days. I've even had to have days off work due to it all.
I don't know what I'm asking if anything.. I just need to write it out, I just want someone to hear me. I just want to stop crying and stop thinking and go back to normal.
 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Caramelo koala, 

We are really sorry to hear that y ou are going through this at the moment, it can be incredbily difficult when a relationship ends. It also sounds like there are other challenges that you are facing with your mental health and the physical feelings that it can bring up. We want to thank you for your courage in writing this post and seeking support from this warm, knowledgable and supportive community. 

We want you to know that we are always here for you if you want to chat on 1300 22 4636. Our team are experts at providing practical and caring advice when we are distressed, or just need someone to talk to. You can also speak to Lifeline on 13 11 14 - they are also super lovey and helpful!

If you want to talk to an expert about relationships, we also recommend getting in touch with 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732. 

Thank you again for reaching out to this community and for your post today. It can be really hard to share but you never know who may read your post and feel less alone in their own experience. 

Kind regards, 

Sophie M 

[That Other Guy]

Why do you still live together? Do you have to? He doesn't sound like a prize, i suspect you've done the right thing.

Did you share a friendship group? Do you have friends who are just your friends?

You obviously suffer depression. That doesn't make everything your fault. It doesn't change your right to control your life and look for happiness. Certainly you deserve more than a guy who can only show you affection while drunk. How has he taken the breakup? It sounds like you'd be better off if you could move out. It's unclear how old you are, but maybe you could move in with your parents briefly and move on from there?