Depression Destroying Everything

[ogtbird]

Hi

I moved to Western Australia about 11 years ago. Long story short I never fully accepted leaving family and friends behind in the UK. This is no disrespect to WA and AUSTRALIA which are great places to live. It’s just me.

Fast forward a decade and my marriage collapsed about a year and a half ago. This is after years of problems. I blame myself mostly as my ex wife loves it here and she took the chance to leave my negativity behind. It had become too much for her. 

It’s something that I’ve tried to address through medication, counselling but I just have a dark view on life and living in Perth. Incredibly I’ve managed to get myself in a good place physically I got a rental, have a good relationship with my ex and son I even have been seeing a girl for the last 6 months we go to gigs etc.

But mentally I just cannot get myself in a positive place about living here. I have a duty to my son but I am like a zombie going through the motions. My girlfriend now has noticed it. The anxiety is huge. I visualise the worst so now I’m down on future on things like buying a house which in turn ruins day to day living. It’s one thing after the next.

I’m just wasting life with such a pessimistic negative view on everything. Many people would jump at the chance I have but I feel like I’ve wasted life. For example my current girlfriend lives day to day as her husband passed away 9 years ago. I admire her mentality about life but I cannot translate it into my negative mindset.

Any points welcome. 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

It appears to me that your negativity is much more the issue than homesickness for the UK. So, fixing up that will allow you to live here more relaxed. Some thought patterns can be tackled professionally but as we know personal research and many life changes can make big inroads to mind change. Changes like-

• Attending motivation lectures
• Watching youtube videos on positive thinking
• Purchasing a home where a small strong community is present that would value your input
• Inviting people from the UK to come and stay for a holiday
• Spiritual/religious gaps to fill
• Hobbies and sports eg supporting soccer (footy) clubs
• Exploring more of Oz

A few threads below are IMO invaluable and you only need to read the first post of each. Repost anytime

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/feeding-your-brain/td-p/53059

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/motivation-search-and-rescue-it/td-p/38279

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/how-to-brainwash-yourself/td-p/44708

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/switching-mindsets/td-p/274532

thoughts?

TonyWK

[geoff]

Hello ogtbird, Tony has provided many links for your perusal which is good of him.

At the moment you can't see any good points in what your ex, son and the girl you are seeing is because you're locked into negativity.

Let's say you went back to the UK, then exactly the same would happen to you, so perhaps it's not necessarily where you are but this depression of any type is controlling how you feel, at the moment what you've said is that you are near your son, ex and enjoy your girlfriend's company, but need to find out why you are this way.

If you leave, all these people will miss you and compound this issue, so find a doctor and ask them about a 'mental health plan', this entitles you to 20 Medicare paid sessions to talk with a psych each year.

Please allow time for this adjustment and enjoying time with your girlfriend must be a positive.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[ogtbird]

Thanks for the input I will look into these!

[ogtbird]

Thanks! I will

look into this!