Can’t make big decisions - anyone else feel this?

[DannyG]

Hi everyone

new to the forums, first post.

i have depression, anxiety, bpd, social phobia.

im having trouble making big decisions. Does anyone else have this too? I don’t trust my own opinions or decision making process, I think because I can’t tel if it’s really me or the illness talking. for e.g. I’m working a contract job,?the job has been advertised and I can’t decide if I should apply for it or not.

Just when I think I’m doing well something sets me off. I got given the wrong coffee order yesterday and it made me cry. Like everything is so messed up I can’t even get a coffee right.

[LavenderTea]

Hey DannyG,

Welcome to the forums.

Big decisions can be tricky for a lot of people, but are made even more so when you don't trust your own opinions. Maybe considering making a pros and cons list? Or make a list of what you want, and see if (for example) the job description matches what you want?

It might also be helpful to talk to family or friends - just voicing these things, and getting them out of your head can be helpful in itself.

It's okay to be upset. Emotional release is often quite necessary. In saying that, if you feel like you're unable to manage your emotions too often, it might be useful (if you aren't already) to seek professional help. You say that you have social phobia, so if seeing someone face-to-face is too much for you at this point in time, there are a range of providers who offer counseling over the phone or over chats.

(BeyondBlue 1300 22 4636 - also has webchat and email)

Hope this helps!

LT.

[SYork]

Hi DannyG,

I agree with LT. I know I'm in the middle of it when I can't make even the smallest decision.

I think you definately need someone else to help with decisions- someone whose thinking is clearer and who can see things more as they are, not as we perceive them to be (especially when we're talking about self-doubt and criticism). Someone who really knows you can act almost as a surrogate for yourself when you're feeling ok- advocating for what 'healthy DannyG' would do. Does that make sense?

I have felt upset in the way you mention here and from experience I would say you need to seek outside support. Sometimes we don't have it in us to cure ourselves.

It does get better than this and we also get better at handling symptoms and triggers, etc. (in my opinion).

I am thinking of you, hang in there and reach out for help.

S.

[DannyG]

Thank you S, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who feels like this.

[DannyG]

Thank you LT, I appreciate your advice 🙂