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Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety, Depression and Suicidal Thoughts
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Hi, I am 26 years old and have been dealing with Bipolar Disorder for over 2 years now. I havent been in a depressive low like this probably since I was diagnosed. I have been doing everything right too like taking my meds and stayed off the alcohol but I am just not finding any hope and feels like I am never going to make it out. I have in the past and its what I am holding on to but its just a repeat cycle of up down up down and its getting the better of me. I struggle to get out and bed and leave my room. I put on a brave face when i do and rarely get asked if anything is wrong which is good because they dont know but also gives you this feeling of "they dont care". I am just not in a good way at all and just wondering if anyone has any tips or anything for keeping my mind busy and not having bad thoughts racing over and over? or tips to fall asleep because I am averaging about 3-4 hours maximum a night and that makes it tough too. This might not make much sense but I am typing this coming from not being in a good way right now. Absolutely any help at all would be amazing.
Thank you.
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Dear Mcc~
I'd like to welcome you back and have looked at your other threads. Life is pretty tough for you since you were diagnosed and it can seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
As someone who has depression and anxiety conditions I've felt much the same way -and had sleep problems too. One of the things depression did for me was narrow down my view of the world until it only had room for all the bad things -and left out all the good.
I suspect with bipolar such feelings are much the same.
I think mmMekitty's suggestion is a pretty good one, and that is to go back to your medical team and say for the last couple of years your medication has had a very adverse effect and badly needs to be reviewed.
While going to hospital might be possible it can be a bit of a mixed bag depending upon which one it is. I've been hospitalized and although I've come out feeling better it is not a pleasant experience. So I'd try your medical team first who may be able to accomplish an improvement on their own.
It sounds as if you have already had some instruction on trying to get to sleep, and of course when you are sleep-deprived that simply makes matters worse. I can suggest you try the free smartphone app I use. It's called Smiling Mind and is full of exercises to calm the mind and leave you relaxed. There are all sorts and cater to just about everyone, including someone like me with the attention span of a goldfish.
It does take practice but when you have mastered it then it is surprisingly effective.
I'd like to ask if you have anyone to support you in your life? It can make a difference just to talk and be cared for even if hard to open up to start with . Feeling alone with this is horrible.
If you find that the thoughts of suicide you mentioned start to take hold please give Lifeline -131114 or the Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 (my favorite) a ring. If that does not help then ring 000 and get direct help.
Life may be pretty bad now but I'm an example it can get much better than I thought possible
I hope to hear from you again
Croix
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Dear mcc
I have the diagnosis of Schizo affective disorder. That means that I have bi-polar with some symptoms of Schizophrenia when I get ill. I first got sick at 17 years of age and I am now 66. I have depression at the moment, what I do is write things down. Each night I put down one positive thought for me to work on in the day, such as I can be strong today. I give myself two jobs to do in the day, like have a shower and fold the washing. Don’t push too hard though and after I done those two goals I give myself a well done. I keep in regular touch with my psychiatrist and my GP re my meds and if they are working.Don’t stop taking your meds till you speak to your doctor cause it could cause you more negative symptoms. Be honest with your doctor and speak up about what is troubling you. I am part of a mental health support group so there is always someone who understands how I’m feeling and I talk to one of the group every day and go out on some activity with the group. Talking and listening is very therapeutic to you and them. Being tired is very much part of depression but also check out your physical health, see if you are maybe low of iron. If you have the internet you tube has some really good sleep music. Remember you are not alone.We can help each other.
Also try to have something that’s good and fun for you each day. Find something that makes you smile. Spending time with my dogs makes me feel good. Would love to talk again A big Hug
sincerely Maddie7
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I've struggled with insomnia my entire life but found this formula to work pretty consistently for sleep:
-Move as much as possible during the day. Force yourself out of bed and move your body. Whether it's cleaning or dancing or walking. Physically exhaust yourself.
-Eat early in the evening.
-If possible, use a sauna (available at lots of council gyms) or engage in some gentle movement e.g. walk in your local park, yoga etc.
-Drink camomile or lavender tea.
-Gentle stretching and cool shower and fresh bedding (best form of self-care).
-Read in bed. Avoid screens at all costs. Find a book you really enjoy and dim the lighting in your bedroom.
-Melatonin and ensuring the temperature of the bedroom is cool as your body needs to drop in temp. to sleep.
-Michael Sealy sleep hypnosis meditation or boring audio book to fall asleep (keeping the screen well away from your bed). I highly recommend Russian literature to bore yourself to sleep or a text book on accounting.
-Silk eye mask and a synching your breathing to your dog's (if you have one) or just focusing on your breath and actively slowing it down.
-Don't clock watch and if the formula doesn't work, get up and do something really boring e.g. housework and then try again when you feel a wave of tiredness.