HI I am new to the site, I am 39 yr Female, who has had depression for
14 years (treated any way).. I read so many stories on this site and
they could describe my life perfectly.. The one thing that gets me the
most, is people, docter's, psychologist...
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HI I am new to the site, I am 39 yr Female, who has had depression for
14 years (treated any way).. I read so many stories on this site and
they could describe my life perfectly.. The one thing that gets me the
most, is people, docter's, psychologists, mental health workers, they
say hold on to the good thoughts/times to help you get through... I have
got to a point in my life that I feel I have nothing to look forward
to.. I feel like people who I see for help listen, but dot "Hear" me..
They say medication and life style changes can help, but no of this
takes away the looming sadness that is constantly being pushed down
inside, only to arise again later. I dont feel if I died tomorrow the
world would even notice I was missing.. I as sooo sick of taking pills
all the time, although the doctors assure me its the only way.. I have
tried suicide several times in the last 4 years along with 2 stays as a
involentary patient in a mental health facility.. Knowing other people
are suffering the same way dosn't help make me feel better, but I
question every day, is this is my life, and this is as good as it gets,
I'm not really wanting to stick around any longer to go through the
motions, knowing that there is no light at the end of the tunnel.. I
have even got to the point I re-searched where I went wrong with
previous attempts. and now have a better understanding of how and what
drugs work best together to get a proper result.. I used to drink
alcohol when I was really sad, but I now feel numb, I don't even want to
drink, I just have a overwhelming sense of nothing, no connection, no
feeling.. I tried a life line counciller, but although very
compassionate, I realised kind word wont change things...I feel like my
heart is just, empty, a void I cant fulfill...