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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Mares73 A different day
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I'm sorry my last post referred to the distant past but I was upset BB wouldn't initially publish it due to the "graphic" "abuse" so I needed to deal with it somehow. It's also an indication of what has led to TNT PTSD, anxiety & depression I... View more

Hi all, I'm sorry my last post referred to the distant past but I was upset BB wouldn't initially publish it due to the "graphic" "abuse" so I needed to deal with it somehow. It's also an indication of what has led to TNT PTSD, anxiety & depression I live with today. It's overwhelming and debilitating at the moment. I hope 2014 for all of us is a better healing year. Love Mares

Girl_Anachronism SOS
  • replies: 27

So this year has been pretty terrible for me. This was due to a combination of : losing my job midway through the year when I suffered from gall stones, got initially misdiagnosed and ended up having to go into emergency surgery to have my gallbladde... View more

So this year has been pretty terrible for me. This was due to a combination of : losing my job midway through the year when I suffered from gall stones, got initially misdiagnosed and ended up having to go into emergency surgery to have my gallbladder completely removed; ongoing medical complications which lead to me not being well for months afterward; both myself and my husband having no job of the same past few months resulting in centrelink payments which can cover rent and food but not internet bills, car rego or electricity; losing my passion for studying my uni degree which transformed me from Distinction level student who did all the extra reading and research for projects to someone who couldn't care that i did an assignment half assed or when times got really dark, not handing in assignments at all failing both units in both semesters this year a rocky relationship with my husband as i lied to him about failing units leading to almost divorce (not that either of us could afford to separate- one of us can't keep up the rent payments) ...and the biggest elephant in the room, finding out early in the year that my father sexually abused both my older sisters between the ages of 12 to 24 and I never knew. I don't know how I didn't notice but I am now looking at all the times i can't remember anything about my childhood- memory gaps with a new light. Conversations I thought strange but shrugged off now seem to make sense. When I was in my teens, facing the TEE and a verbally and emotionally abusive father I struggled with depression and suicidal tendancies. I fought my way out somehow. I told myself I would never go back again. Turns out I lied to myself aswell. THis year....I still fight every day to stay here. For years I haven't felt this emotionally void and yet out of control. I feel like there is a glass wall between me and anything I touch, watch or read. I acknowledge what a reasonable person would feel but feel...nothing. To this end I broke my silence on it and talked to both my counsellor at University and my GP. I have been started on antidepressants for the first time in my life, three weeks in now. I can no longer access the counsellor as I am notattending University next year. I can't afford to see anyone expensive. I have an appointment with someone free in the New Year but they had nothing available before Christmas. I just don't know if i can hold it together until then. Everyday is so hard. I am back in that dark place again but I don't know if I will be able to pull myself back from the edge. So this is me. Calling for help. GA

Suzbj The Reality of Hope
  • replies: 7

Hope is often lost in the worst yards of depression. When hope is lost and feelings no longer matter or exist - it is such a dark time. That is the place where some people give up. But what it actually is, is the dark before the dawn. When you get to... View more

Hope is often lost in the worst yards of depression. When hope is lost and feelings no longer matter or exist - it is such a dark time. That is the place where some people give up. But what it actually is, is the dark before the dawn. When you get to that place, be excited, something great and revealing is up ahead. The dark before the dawn is such a profound place to be. There is some break-through imminent if you just hold on!!!! For me, this is the first Christmas I don't feel alone, even though I literally am re family. It is how I SEE myself and ME belonging to ME that matters. I, for the first time ever in my life since 5yo feel good in my skin. So the relationship we most need to be well with, is the relationship we have with ourselves. Does that make sense? Love you all, Thinking of you all My love to you all Suz xxx

jodes76 not sure anymore
  • replies: 2

I'm not happy in my current situation, I want to leave but am scared. My hubby busted me on a chat/dating site and got shitty with me, all because I have cheated in past. I don't know what to do. My depression is getting worse and so is my anxiety. I... View more

I'm not happy in my current situation, I want to leave but am scared. My hubby busted me on a chat/dating site and got shitty with me, all because I have cheated in past. I don't know what to do. My depression is getting worse and so is my anxiety. I don't want to feel like this anymore

Juliet Uncontrollable anger!
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, Just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. I am finding that almost anything anyone says at the moment is whirling in my mind and I can't stop myself from biting their head off. For a while I've been having trouble controllin... View more

Hi everyone, Just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. I am finding that almost anything anyone says at the moment is whirling in my mind and I can't stop myself from biting their head off. For a while I've been having trouble controlling what I say and I'm to the point where I'm unable to have a conversation without arguing or being really angry with the other person. I have recently come off some meds and I'm stressed from christmas but I don't feel they are the only reasons. I feel like I'm losing it a bit and I really can't control myself at all. My psychologist mentioned possibly going to hospital for a while and to discuss with my new psychiatrist who I see mid Jan. He obviously thinks I'm acting crazy too! Thanks for listening. Juliet

Louis-Rigolly Dogs and Depression
  • replies: 1

I'm 74 years old and live next door to a boarding kennel. I doubt that it's a legal one but the council's local laws team don't seem to be interested in it. It's now nearly 1.00am on Christmas eve and it appears I am not going to get much sleep tonig... View more

I'm 74 years old and live next door to a boarding kennel. I doubt that it's a legal one but the council's local laws team don't seem to be interested in it. It's now nearly 1.00am on Christmas eve and it appears I am not going to get much sleep tonight because of the barking, howling, and yapping. I was supposed to go to lunch with friends tomorrow but it involves a 70km drive and I don't think it would be safe to drive without sleep at my age. I first complained about the dog problem in January this year and the council told me to keep a diary of the barking for two weeks. I may be stupid, but if one complains about a stress inducing problem, this act of complaining suggests that the person is not able to sit through this stress for an extended period. Effectively, this requirement to record the barking presents a "Catch 22" situation in which the person is not able to get out of the life threatening situation. I did spend nearly ten years at university, some of it part time, but, as I said, I may be the one that's stupid. Beyond Blue state that depression is not a part of getting older. In my situation, depression is definitely a required part of getting old. A year ago I was enjoying my life and involved in all kinds of activities. I tried to be a "Good Neighbour" and endure the barking during school holidays and such. But one can endure stress for a limited period. The stress gradually takes over. Now I spend two or three days each week away from home and when I am at home spend my time closed in a room reading and playing music to disguise the barking. I also smoke a pipe because nicotine has anti-depressant qualities. I see a counsellor once a week, paying money that I can't really afford. The counsellor can't do much so I slip deeper and deeper into depression. My active life is crammed into those two or three days that I am away from my home each week. Depression, for me, is definitely a part of ageing. .

poida1 coming to terms
  • replies: 4

Hi, I'm new to this website and am not really too sure what to do so I guess I'll just spill my story. I don't want to drag on but it's a long story so I apologise in advance. I was in my first year of an adventure tourism course in New Zealand which... View more

Hi, I'm new to this website and am not really too sure what to do so I guess I'll just spill my story. I don't want to drag on but it's a long story so I apologise in advance. I was in my first year of an adventure tourism course in New Zealand which I moved from Australia to do when, about 5 months ago, I had a very vivid near death experience at a ski field on the South Island that haunts me still today. I went through a horrific experience that lasted about 5 hours and was terribly injured and lucky to be alive. The injuries I sustained were to my hands and arms and took over 3 months to heal, limiting what I was able to do greatly. I should note that before the accident I was about the most pro-active go getter around and NEVER wasted a free moment. I was excelling in my training and every aspect of life. I always made the most of everything and was very into physical exercise and activities. I was/am known as the happiest guy who can easily find the bright side of everything and a pleasure to be around. All of this has changed since the accident happened. The mental problems started shortly after the accident, about a few weeks I guess. I started to lose sleep which went away pretty quickly and then started to get mood swings which was not like me at all. I was under a lot of pressure with study as well which was not helping. Then the fatigue started to set in. I spent most of the day trying to keep my eyes open and felt like I was being swallowed alive by a black cloud that I just couldn't shake. At this stage I was in denial about my problems and was pretending to myself and others that everything was ok because I didn't want to appear weak and I was terrified that I was changing from the winning person I was. The dark feelings that I couldn't shake were eating away at me and leeching all life from me. My ability to be happy had vanished and I was a shell of who I was. I lost interest in my hobbies and sometimes couldn't even get out of bed. Then the numbness to my emotions set in and numb is the only way I can describe it. To this day I still feel this numbness and those dark feelings come and go, it's a roller coaster! A week ago I made the decision to stop what I'm doing and get help before it's too late. I was working as a sea kayak guide in New Zealand that requires complete focus, professionalism, lots of energy and the key: happiness! Which I don't have. I'm now in Australia just hanging out and getting my head back together before I have to continue my training in New Zealand in February. I haven't been able to share my story with anyone other than friends and family and am dying to speak to a professional about what happened and the problems that have come from it, but due to the time of year, most shrinks are on holidays. I've only just come to terms with what's going on and have only just been honest with how I am to those around me so I've taken the first step but have been stopped in my tracks by the whole everyone being on holidays thing. This is why I am sharing my story on here. I hope someone reads this (sorry about the length!). I just want someone to talk to about this and some help!

jodes76 hurting and confused
  • replies: 3

My doctor has me weaning off one meds so I can start another. The withdrawals are bad. I have been drinking a bit lately as well. Things are really getting to me now. I feel like I can't do anything right. My mental and physical health are really low... View more

My doctor has me weaning off one meds so I can start another. The withdrawals are bad. I have been drinking a bit lately as well. Things are really getting to me now. I feel like I can't do anything right. My mental and physical health are really low right now.

Carlyrm Trying to cope with it all.
  • replies: 4

I couldn't find my last thread I made to update how I'm going - it's nice to have the support here so I figure it's also healthy to express my feelings as I've done before. I'm doing a lot better now, I still have my crap days like everyone else here... View more

I couldn't find my last thread I made to update how I'm going - it's nice to have the support here so I figure it's also healthy to express my feelings as I've done before. I'm doing a lot better now, I still have my crap days like everyone else here but it's nowhere near as bad. I went to my psychologist recently to tell her how I was going etc and it was like talking to a brick wall and I left feeling frustrated but an hour later I decided to let that feeling go. I know I am strong enough to handle the heartbreak of this break up and breakdown of my friendships on my own, I need this time from my break from work to work on myself and get back into things that make me feel good. Really push myself day by day, get creative, don't procrastinate just get things done and do things for myself- avoid people in my life who have upset me. There are new friends to make when I am more confident I will go out there and make new ones. I dreaded the time I'd have a break from work, but I'm now seeing it as a positive to get back into things that have filled the void before and I was so blinded by sadness that I couldn't even bare to do any of those things that made me feel good. It can only get better from here, after being unemployed for so long and finding a great job with a positive environment to work in I'm really grateful. I can only hope my social life begins to blossom too, I'd love to do simple things socially with people - in the last few months I've been doing those things on my own or not at all simply because I didn't feel worthy of it. I have very few friends and can think of 2 who stay in touch, one is interstate so it makes it difficult but it's better than having no support at all. I want to fall in love again when I'm ready. I'd like to do all those things that make me feel whole, I'm beginning to feel better because I'm spending time with better people and concentrating on that rather that the feeling of being lonely and isolated - which has just made me feel depressed and far worse. I used to think I was mentally ill for my thoughts and feelings but it's a way of coping, I wasn't sick I was going through a terrifying time in my life this year when I look back on it (and I'm still coping with it now). Asking for help on here, talking to someone on lifeline and my family did help immensely not so much a psychologist. If I can begin to recover then you can too, it takes a while to sift through emotions and if you need to do difficult things like cut out toxic people from your life then do it. Think about your health emotionally/mentally and what's best for you, sometimes psychologists don't always understand these things after all you know yourself (or someone close to you) better than anyone else. Life can be so overwhelming, but with difficulty comes change and change can be the best thing and make you stronger. That's my advice, you can get there trust yourself and face the challenges in your mind no matter how much it can hurt you will get through it. There's always someone out there willing to listen even if it's someone on lifeline or someone asking if you're okay - people do care.

Chris D Leave me alone
  • replies: 33

Please leave me alone to suffer in my own world. There is nothing anyone can do or say anymore. Please do not respond to this thread as i feel very disappointed, angry and annoyed with myself for not replying to each individuals threads and posts. It... View more

Please leave me alone to suffer in my own world. There is nothing anyone can do or say anymore. Please do not respond to this thread as i feel very disappointed, angry and annoyed with myself for not replying to each individuals threads and posts. It is not fair on you all, that you post all of your kind words and suggestions and i can't do it for you. SORRY I just don't have the energy, everything is an effort even typing this thread out is sapping energy from me. I feel extremely flat and going down hill. Sorry to you all if some of you were counting on me to inspire you out of your own personal battles. I need, i don't know what i need. I need picking up i guess. Kind Regards Chris