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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Saadie My employer made me see a psychologist
  • replies: 6

Hi, I've just discovered the forum aspect to beyond blue and thought I'd try be brave enough to get the advice I'm so desperately craving. I'm not sure how to write what I'm feeling but I'm going to give it a shot. Basically, I am terrified. So much ... View more

Hi, I've just discovered the forum aspect to beyond blue and thought I'd try be brave enough to get the advice I'm so desperately craving. I'm not sure how to write what I'm feeling but I'm going to give it a shot. Basically, I am terrified. So much has happened in the last few months and I'm struggling to make sense of it. It's all so overwhelming. Just before Christmas, I was confronted by a work colleague about my apparent change in behaviour. I insisted I was fine but a few days later was approached again. Since then, it has been a whirlwind of chaos. Anyway, earlier this year, my employer made me see a psychologist. That in itself was difficult. I refused to go back. I've been finding things getting harder and harder. I can't concentrate at work. I can't sleep. I wake up every hour. I'msad, all of the time. This has been going on for about 6 months but the last month has been the hardest. I spoke to the colleague again and found myself back at the psychologist. She now wants me to see a psychiatrist. I am literally terrified. I have never dealt with anything. I also grew up with a drug addicted sister, abusive brother, and alcoholic/absent father. I was abused as a child. I am drinking a lot. I am having thoughts about how easy it would be to just end everything. I don't want to. But I can't escape the thoughts. I am so scared. I'm completely numb to everything. Apart from the occasional tears. I catch myself thinking about how easy it would be to just, let go. To leave. Tonight has been hard. I've been anxious and scared. Sad and jumpy at the slightest noises. Please, someone tell me it will be ok. The only person I trust is my work colleague and I have leant on her too much already.

Esther123 Battling the black heavy mist
  • replies: 3

I feel that all to familiar black heavy mist consuming my soul, my body, my thoughts, my moods. I can't fight it now, I'm tired. My thoughts sit in my fatigued head, my heart physically hurts. I open my mouth but all those words spewing out of me lik... View more

I feel that all to familiar black heavy mist consuming my soul, my body, my thoughts, my moods. I can't fight it now, I'm tired. My thoughts sit in my fatigued head, my heart physically hurts. I open my mouth but all those words spewing out of me like I'm auto pilot are not me. Who am I anymore? Its been so long I can't remember who I was! Why does this dark pain never go to that place in my head that my heart, soul and me seems to be hiding. I have fought this for too long and I'm tired. I sit and think how I just want to get in my car and just disappear. I can't carry this pain anymore, I can't keep putting my family through me and my darkness. I want my children to not have a memory of their mum being this shell, I'm sure they look deep into my eyes and struggle to see my soul. But I smile and continue to be that strange person who looks at me in the mirror. How many more tears can fall silently from my eyes before I face what I know is the answer to all this pain becoming nothing more than a distant memory. My name is Esther, I have a husband that I feel everyday is drifting away from me, he is busy and constantly reminds me that he is so busy, too busy for me. The motions always move smoothly, he does support me. But I can't stand seeing his face again and again as he looks at me like I'm a wounded animal that he knows he can fix. I only show him parts of me now, and yet he does bit noticed that his wife is slowly dying inside. I can't remember the last time he gently held me and made me feel like no one else existed. My name is Esther , I have two children 8 and 15, I go through the motions but what use is a mum that can't get out of bed on her days off to be an active participant in their lives. This is the person they shall forever remember. My name is Esther, I work but I go through the motions there. My name is Esther and I was diagnosed 2 yrs ago with this soul destroying debilitating illness depression. I was going ok and have gone down in the last 6 months. My dark thoughts are becoming more regular, I find my self whispering that my uselessness would not be missed. I have not posted on here for some time.

dunno I had to leave because I didn't want people to notice the tears
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I'll try to make this brief. I was diagnosed with a depressed mood a bit over 12 months ago. I was on medication for a short period and then went off as things were improving. But it may have returned tonight. I was at a the birthday par... View more

Hi everyone, I'll try to make this brief. I was diagnosed with a depressed mood a bit over 12 months ago. I was on medication for a short period and then went off as things were improving. But it may have returned tonight. I was at a the birthday party of closer family friend's daughter 5 year old daughter. Normally I would happily have a nice chat with the people around but even after 5 minutes seemingly listening to everyone talking about the holidays they had just come back from, were organising or the houses they were planning on buying. I'm under quite a bit of financial stress at the moment so it really got to me. But when people starting bringing out their presents and I knew mine was sitting back there that only cost me a couple of dollars I had to excuse myself when I started to tear up. In the end I had to leave early because I didn't want people to notice the tears. At this point I'm not adverse to going back to the doctor but I simply do not have time unless I miss work or study. And where I am with those at the moment would have significant consequences if I took time off. So any advice would be gratefully appreciated.

MyahLove1 How do I deal with the crushing feelings?
  • replies: 2

I was just wondering how do other people deal with the crushing feelings? Like, Why should I get out of bed? Why should I clean? Why should I leave the house? Why should I talk to other people? I'm struggling to deal.....x

I was just wondering how do other people deal with the crushing feelings? Like, Why should I get out of bed? Why should I clean? Why should I leave the house? Why should I talk to other people? I'm struggling to deal.....x

Lisa_C I can't be bothered being me
  • replies: 3

I don't want to do this anymore, I don't care anymore. I can't be bothered being me. I don't want to do anything, I can't do anything because everything makes me so anxious and its such an effort. Im hopeless and a useless mother and partner. I see n... View more

I don't want to do this anymore, I don't care anymore. I can't be bothered being me. I don't want to do anything, I can't do anything because everything makes me so anxious and its such an effort. Im hopeless and a useless mother and partner. I see no light at the end of the tunnel. Im only living on for those who I know love and care about me and I couldnt destroy them. Im selfish, I know. I just want to feel something other than this horrible feeling everyday. It's been too long and its all I know. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

MyahLove1 One of those days when I stop trying...
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm new at this. I am one of those people who keeps a wall up but underneath i am slowly wearing away, occasionally i have a period of time where my wall breaks down and i fall apart. Unfortunately when this happens, i have no one to turn to. Tod... View more

Hi, I'm new at this. I am one of those people who keeps a wall up but underneath i am slowly wearing away, occasionally i have a period of time where my wall breaks down and i fall apart. Unfortunately when this happens, i have no one to turn to. Today is one of those days..... I just need someone to talk to..... xx

SadboiArt Can depression affect love?
  • replies: 7

Do you think it's possible that depression, anxiety and mental health can effect your feelings for the people you love and care about? Can we drastically change the way we feel because our depression has changed? I'm interested in what people have to... View more

Do you think it's possible that depression, anxiety and mental health can effect your feelings for the people you love and care about? Can we drastically change the way we feel because our depression has changed? I'm interested in what people have to say on the subject.

ann_s I feel that I've wasted my life
  • replies: 5

Hi All,I do not know what my official diagnosis is but I suspect depression of some kind and maybe anxiety. I can get out of bed (just) but at the moment all I want to do is lay on the couch and watch TV. EVERYTHING seems to take a huge amount of eff... View more

Hi All,I do not know what my official diagnosis is but I suspect depression of some kind and maybe anxiety. I can get out of bed (just) but at the moment all I want to do is lay on the couch and watch TV. EVERYTHING seems to take a huge amount of effort. I used to love playing computer games but at the moment they seem to require far too much effort. I believe I've suffered from depression for most of my life with multiple depressive episodes, however this time, something that I previously used as distraction (uni studies) now became incredibly difficult. It's like my brain is just refusing to work. My memory is also becoming very bad and I'm even worse than usual at making decisions.Three weeks ago I decided I had had enough and this wasn't normal and talked to my GP, I started crying as soon as I sat down, she immediately gave me a prescription forantidepressants. The first week I had some scary side effects - waking up with a racing heart in particular but that has now reduced significantly and I'm now mostly getting muscle tics. I saw my GP today and she reckons I should be feeling better by now but everything else I've read says it is more likely 4-6 weeks before things improve. I took time off work last week because I'm casual and I feel bad being here and being paid for sitting around doing nothing. I have told my team leader what is going on because I'd rather he know then just think I'm being lazy. Thankfully he has been really supportive.Basically I believe what causes me to feel like this most of the time, especially now, is that I feel that I've wasted my life. I have had a number of people say to me that I should be doing more because I'm intelligent, and the frustrating thing is that I know I CAN do more with my life. I've had opportunities, new jobs, ideas etc on things I could do to improve my life but just can't be bothered pursuing them. Once upon a time even when I felt depressed I at least had the motivation to go after things that I thought would make life better. For example there's my dream job advertised recently but I can't even be bothered applying. I think maybe I've got to the point where I've given up. That if I chase these things, they will be just something else that I get bored of so why bother at all? I'm also not sure if chasing new things and ideas are necessarily helping or just temporarily making things better.So my questions are - did anyone else notice that in the past they were able to find distractions to make themselves feel better but then it was almost like all of a sudden their brain stopped working and couldn't even do simple things? I struggled just to put some words together to send a text message to my mother this morning. I don't feel suicidal, I mainly feel overwhelmed and have a severe lack of motivation.Also, is just under three weeks too early for medication to be working? I will definitely hang in there, just a bit uncertain about whether my GP has given me accurate information. I'm booked in for a psychologist on 5th June which is in a couple of weeks so hoping things will improve once I can talk to someone.Thanks for listening.

Guest_3712 I feel like one of these shells I see on the beach every day
  • replies: 8

Heyall I am at one with the ocean I am cancer the crab I watch the waves crash onto the sand, leaving in it's wake smashed and broken shells As the waves recede back into the depths, some shells also return, intact, to the depths to surface again,and... View more

Heyall I am at one with the ocean I am cancer the crab I watch the waves crash onto the sand, leaving in it's wake smashed and broken shells As the waves recede back into the depths, some shells also return, intact, to the depths to surface again,and again or if the tide is especially strong go further out to sea, but will invariably return as the pull is too strong. Most of Those left on the sand will crumble under the feet of people unaware of their turmoil - just another shell on the beach. nothing special , no point stopping. Then maybe just maybe, someone sees something. a tiny flash of colour, an unusual shape and they stop. they look. they see . Then they reach down and pick it up turning it over slowly in their hands. They see the beauty that was and carefully putting in their pocket think, "I'm going to see if I can clean this up, and return it to it's original beauty". I feel like one of these shells I see on the beach every day. My hope is someone will pick me up and restore me to my authentic self Not this 'shell' of what I should be, could be, need to be. I am so overwhelmed Stressless

VMAIN26 First timer
  • replies: 5

Hi I don't really know where to start but I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for only the last 6 months I think. I have been put on medication and seeing the doctor reg and also a counsellor a few times. but I don't seem to be getting ... View more

Hi I don't really know where to start but I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for only the last 6 months I think. I have been put on medication and seeing the doctor reg and also a counsellor a few times. but I don't seem to be getting anywhere. I got better for a bit and now im back in my black hole again and trying to dig my way out. im not working atm because im having trouble being around people. I don't want to leave the house or do anything around the house. I have lost all drive and motivation for anything in life atm. I don't know if this is the medication or just the symptoms. I could just stay in bed all day and not do anything. can anyone help at all

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