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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Lazybones I’ll do anything to avoid it and put it off
  • replies: 2

Not sure if this is anxiety, depression, reverse ADHD but need some guidance from you guys. As background I’m male in my 30s and I have a few stresses in my life, big mortgage, young child, another on the way, not performing well at work and worrying... View more

Not sure if this is anxiety, depression, reverse ADHD but need some guidance from you guys. As background I’m male in my 30s and I have a few stresses in my life, big mortgage, young child, another on the way, not performing well at work and worrying about my finances. My question is, does anyone have a crippling inability to do anything without it being at the absolute last minute? At work, at home and in your social life? I know I need to do something, I know what is required, I know that it’s not that hard but I just can’t do it. I’ll have a simple phone call to make at work, but I’ll do anything to avoid it and put it off. I’ll defer everything to “tomorrow” and eventually say to myself it’s too late now I just won’t bother. All I do all day is cycle through facebook, news.com, other sites, check my phone etc. I do anything but do what is required of me. Is this depression? Anxiety etc? I don’t feel sad though, just worn out. Its really affecting my work, as my job is a professional sales based role. All the things I should be doing to improve I just don’t do. Not performing well stresses me, but I just don’t do the things I know I need to do to improve, which would reduce my stress... I need my job to pay my bills, the potential to lose my job also stresses me lol... I would go to a doctor about this but I’ll put that off too.

guest140 Sad
  • replies: 3

Hello, I find myself on the beyond blue website instead of sleeping. My husband is asleep next to me, aware of my pain but at a loss about how to support me. I'm a primary school teacher who has recently moved from Melbourne to Sydney. I suffer from ... View more

Hello, I find myself on the beyond blue website instead of sleeping. My husband is asleep next to me, aware of my pain but at a loss about how to support me. I'm a primary school teacher who has recently moved from Melbourne to Sydney. I suffer from anxiety related depression. in m early twenties I had an eating disorder. I became very painfully and severely underweight. Throughout my twenties I was distracted by life, studying, working, building a house, getting married. Now, in my early 30s I feel like life is draining my energy. Late last year I was diagnosed with depression. I was given a prescription for anti-depressants and also treatment with a psychologist. Together with the psychologist I made the decision to undergo counselling and not take the medicines (I was not happy with the speed with which they were prescribed by a GP - 10 minutes nor was I comfortable with the side effects, but that's my choice). I thought last year my anxiety was caused by the stress at work. I found work relatively quickly in Sydney and have worked a term at a new school. I'm yet to find a doctor or counsellor in Sydney. I'm struggling to work out if I'm simply homesick and lonely (understandable) or if it's the work environment (I am not at all suited to this school) or if it's some other reason or a combination. I'm scared that my dark thoughts and lack of vitality will come back. I'm sliding into a hole and I'm sure I lack to skills to help myself out. I cry most days. I'm extremely anxious. I feel trapped in this job, how can I leave after only one term, yet I'm also terrified of staying and descending into depression. i need advice on how to leave one position unexpected while still somehow get a reference that can help future employment. Sydney is expensive and I need to work to pay rent. I fear the financial birder my anxiety and depression will place on my marriage. I'm so scared, anxious and lonely. Would like someone, anyone, to reach out and understand my pain. Thank you.

BK13 To tell or not to tell? Level of openness regarding your mental illness
  • replies: 11

I have been an unofficial member of the M.I. club (sounds much cooler like that huh....) since I was a teenager so basically half my life, officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety just over 2 years ago, commenced treatment 5 weeks ago (been o... View more

I have been an unofficial member of the M.I. club (sounds much cooler like that huh....) since I was a teenager so basically half my life, officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety just over 2 years ago, commenced treatment 5 weeks ago (been on meds just over 4 weeks and have had 1 session with a psych so far). Just wanted to make sure everyone knew my back story before I ask my question! I just wanted to gauge how open others have been regarding their mental illness? Thus far I have only told my partner, my best friend, 1 trusted friend, and my brother-in law and his wife. I just feel like I'm keeping this big secret from everyone else and wonder if it might improve my relationships if I tell them. I don't live in the same country as my family so it's very easy just to omit details, to not mention when I am feeling all sorts of bad. I generally get around this by not calling them unless I'm feeling half stable. At times this means weeks or months on end without speaking to my parents. I haven't seen my mum in years. I am however visiting them in a few weeks so I'm mulling over if I should tell them or not, and if so how detailed I want to be. I also am not sure if I should/could/want to tell them about my partners recent suicide attempt. I just wonder if part of this weight on my shoulders is relating to not letting my loved ones in on the 'true' me. They know only a filtered version of myself and my life! IE they view my life as if through Instagram and I'm sure most of you have seen those 'life in instagram VS life in reality' posts... that's what I feel like, a bit of a fraud. I know none of you can tell me what to do and what worked for you won't necessarily work for me - but I just wanted to know what your own experiences had been regarding telling family, friends, bosses, colleagues etc. Did you feel better? Did it improve your relationships? Did you feel they understood better and helped them understand why you act certain ways? Or did it completely backfire and they treated you differently in a bad way! Did you go out of your way to tell people? Or did you just tell them when they asked? Or is/was this a private battle to be fought only with your chosen few let in on the full story? Share away please I am all ears! I also intend on discussing this train of thought with my psych next week but thoughts from you guys would be much appreciated. BK

MsPhoenix My story...well some!
  • replies: 2

Hi all, my story is probably similar to some of you hear, but I need to tell it anyway, in a summarized version.I am in my late 40's and on marriage no3. I have 3 children of my own and 2 steps. The steps live with their dad and i and because of this... View more

Hi all, my story is probably similar to some of you hear, but I need to tell it anyway, in a summarized version.I am in my late 40's and on marriage no3. I have 3 children of my own and 2 steps. The steps live with their dad and i and because of this my own children who range from 16 - 25 refuse to include me in their lives, my own parents or sibling don't want me in their lives either.I know that i need to focus on what is under my roof but because of my own family ostracizing me I can't get past the sadness and feeling of a loss of identity. I know that this sound melodramatic but you bring 3 kids in the world and now nothing to show for it, it's tough. My husband has been understanding to a point but is now considering leaving me too. Im on meds for my depression with the occasional benzodiazepines to get me thru bad days. I'm just reaching out here because i don't know where yo start. Naturally there is soooo much more to my story but just someone who can 'take me under their wing' would be a fantastic start.I need to stop crying one day.

BLACK_BEAN here we go again
  • replies: 14

After many years of being manageable the depression has come back with a vengeance. To the point of tears on Sunday. Had a great talk with my partner to let her know where I am at. From that point things changed,and was feeling much better, but today... View more

After many years of being manageable the depression has come back with a vengeance. To the point of tears on Sunday. Had a great talk with my partner to let her know where I am at. From that point things changed,and was feeling much better, but today can feel that mood changing. Just want this to stop.

Bluebird-09 Do you ever tell how bad it really is?
  • replies: 1

I mean. . It's not like life is horrible. I have a home and a family.. A job... Freedom and relative peace.Sure it hasn't always looked this way. I've been abused and neglected. .. suffered incredible loss and grief.. and somehow clung on.So i "seem"... View more

I mean. . It's not like life is horrible. I have a home and a family.. A job... Freedom and relative peace.Sure it hasn't always looked this way. I've been abused and neglected. .. suffered incredible loss and grief.. and somehow clung on.So i "seem" ok. Im quite good at the mask wearing... but lately I've been trying to take it off. I have been open with my husband about what depression feels like. . And that I feel there's no way out. I've said that my mind wants to steer my car off the road... I've told about feeling that the life has been sucked out of me. That it's been my whole life..right from childhood and that I'm just. So. tired. That i hate myself more than I ever thought possible... that every single day is an epic battle in my mind just to exist. I've reached out to people I thought I trusted... yet I don't think they realise. . That I just want to cease to exist. I don't really want to die. .. but I can't live like this anymore. I feel like if something happened... even if it was just hospital again - people would say "i would have helped... I didn't know.... she seemed ok.... she told me it was bad but I thought it would pass"Why doesn't anyone actually care until it's too late? I don't want It to be this way.. but theres only so much help I can ask for.. What's left to do when you feel like you're out of options? I guess I don't expect an answer. I just want something. .. I don't even know what... maybe just to feel like I'm not the only one who feels invisible. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Ragamuffin No sun shines here
  • replies: 5

In a hole dark as night i keep trying to claw my way out feels like im getting in deeper no sun shines in here i have been suffering from depression for as long as i can remember i never knew my family never knew they always treated me like a problem... View more

In a hole dark as night i keep trying to claw my way out feels like im getting in deeper no sun shines in here i have been suffering from depression for as long as i can remember i never knew my family never knew they always treated me like a problem never a person putting me down treating me bad beating me constantly this was just my way of life, isn't this how everyone lives. My first serious relationship i loved him so much he constantly abused me mentally physically and sexually, isn't this what love is, one day he beat me so bad i ended up in hospital we both knew next time he would kill me he left me for a new life i was so lost all i did was drink do drugs and horrible behaviour laying down for whoever would lay with me all i ever wanted was someone to love me care about me treat me like a person. After years in this darkness i finally met her she made me feel like a person for the first time in my life, it took me a long time to overcome the fact that i was falling in love with a woman my family did not approve. She was the person who recognised my depression i always thought that was just the way i was, i have been on medication for 7 years now the first few years i would think I'm ok and stop my meds my behaviour would revert back to my ugly mean dark self . For the past 3 years i now know i will always need medication to keep me NORMAL My partner has been the most supportive person along this horrible journey of mine she is so beautiful i still question why does she love me i don't deserve her how can she put up with me. Even though i take medication everyday i am in the darkest hole i have ever seen i am waiting for an operation i am in constant pain all day everyday a month ago i had to take leave from work unpaid i couldnt cope with the pain and the stress of not being able to perform my physical duties which would then lead to depression . Everyday i am at home my partner trys to help me by keeping me busy somedays i just cant get out from underneath my blanket, crawling into a ball and crying is all i want to do. A few mishaps with our house have happened lately the stress with the landlord has pushed me off the edge this feels like the worst Ive ever been i just cant see the light before i left work my boss suggested this website for me i have been lurking watching what goes on for about a month now so um here i am, i am a secret closed up tight knock if you will inside is night i am a lock without a key i am a puzzle no one solves me beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Harveylous pillar to post? what next?
  • replies: 4

in a nut shell, after 2 years of an internal mind struggle and then finding the courage to admit there's a problem and trying to find help, seams like trying to get it is as hard as actually suffering it, 4 doctors, 3 psychologists and 1 councilor la... View more

in a nut shell, after 2 years of an internal mind struggle and then finding the courage to admit there's a problem and trying to find help, seams like trying to get it is as hard as actually suffering it, 4 doctors, 3 psychologists and 1 councilor later and still seams like im a hot potato or feels like im just a number or a lost cause, it was hard enough to admit i have a problem, then actually going to doctors for referal to see counciling which are hard to get in and see just to be referred to some one else cause they cant help! where to turn next? i dont know, seams like sometimes it is easy to stay in my nut shell and let the world go by, i realy dont want to give up but just seams like its getting harder and harder to trust anyone.

Ben81 Constant feelings of self loathe
  • replies: 1

Hi all not sure if this is the right place to post. I like to get to the poi so here goes.I don't think I am suicidal but I think about it lots, I think about how everyone would be better without me and different ways of suicide. I have come to think... View more

Hi all not sure if this is the right place to post. I like to get to the poi so here goes.I don't think I am suicidal but I think about it lots, I think about how everyone would be better without me and different ways of suicide. I have come to think its normal to think like this. And one day it will either go away or get the better of me. My life isn't bad I am employed have a loving family. Thing get tough from time to time but I don't feel I am different to anyone else in life. The main things that keep me is my mum an daughter and my fiancée I think how sad they would be without me. Sometimes though I think they would be better for me to disappear. so is it normal is it just me. Are there others out there do I need to do something. I just confused and want to know I am normal I guess thanks in advance too beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

thundergod It happened to me didn't it?
  • replies: 4

Hey, so I didn't really know where to turn with this and I found comfort in the anonymity that this kind of thing offers, so thought I might try and get something out of my head to see if it does anything.I guess I should start by saying for the last... View more

Hey, so I didn't really know where to turn with this and I found comfort in the anonymity that this kind of thing offers, so thought I might try and get something out of my head to see if it does anything.I guess I should start by saying for the last month and a half I have felt pretty lame. Not really enjoying stuff, just turning up and appearing normal to anyone who happens to bump into me. I started seeing a girl in the last two months, which has mostly been great, but she's moving away and last week she told me she doesn't really want a boyfriend, just a friend. I was already feeling pretty worthless by that time with other stuff outside of this (life/work/band etc.), but I think that really stuck the boot in and now I kind of feel as though my worth is at an all time low. I'm struggling to come up with excuses to keep existing, I feel like I'm destined to plot this course of life alone and quite frankly it's a journey I'm really not that keen to see out the end of, especially if this is all that's in-store for me. I had a look at stuff around suicide over the weekend, originally I thought that looking at something like that would scare me into getting better, but I was weirdly at peace with the idea, as if it were somehow justifiable. I really don't want to talk my parents about this stuff, partly because I want to spare them the worry but mostly because I'm 100% certain that they'll tell other members of my family, who then tell more people, so on and so fourth. The kicker in all of this? I'm a Mental Health worker. My job is to help people deal with the things that they are going through, yet I can' help myself? You know, I never thought it would happen to me... but I always thought on the off chance that it did, I would know how to fix it, but alas, here I am, morosely content on fading into the background I've tried to be so different from. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

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