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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Pureison I have no motivation or passion to do anything and it makes me sad.
  • replies: 7

Hi. I'm in my mid 20s and I feel like I have no energy or motivation to do anything. Everytime I think of doing something I'm always just end up not doing it. Even the things I enjoy doing, like Art and Baking, all I want to do lately is play games a... View more

Hi. I'm in my mid 20s and I feel like I have no energy or motivation to do anything. Everytime I think of doing something I'm always just end up not doing it. Even the things I enjoy doing, like Art and Baking, all I want to do lately is play games and play my cats. I see my friends getting married, having boyfriends, having kids and having a successful and fun jobs and friendships within their jobs,and here I am not doing any of those and I feel sad and kind of isolated. I spend my days with my parents a lot, and I try to make plans with friends but my friends are always busy with work. I want to get a job, but I have no experience, or confidence. I've even tried doing uni courses but I don't see anything that makes me passionate or any courses that I really really want to do. I want a change and I want to be like my friends, but I don't know how if there's nothing out there that I find really exciting or passionate? I'm trying my best to keep busy like focus on decorating my room and talking to my parents about general life. And even if I do find a course I really like, I'm always thinking that I'm not smart enough to do it and my brain can't handle it, because I have a mental disability. I've tried doing art courses which seem to work but lately as I said, I just feel unmotivated and have no inspiration or anything to do it. I am thinking of doing photography and modelling as a hobby for instagram and maybe doing a steps course or something but I'm worried my brain can't handle it, and I'm going to stress out and drop out of it, like other courses I have done. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you cope with it?

Looking Why do they have to make it so hard to get help
  • replies: 1

Had depression for over 15 years. I also have Aspergers. Medication has not solved the issue. So decided to have TMS. Have two full treatments, one on left side of brain, one on right side. Neither had any impact. I have had two psychiatrists recomme... View more

Had depression for over 15 years. I also have Aspergers. Medication has not solved the issue. So decided to have TMS. Have two full treatments, one on left side of brain, one on right side. Neither had any impact. I have had two psychiatrists recommend ECT for me. Went into a private hospital to have ECT treatment. I had extreme agitation and aggression coming out of the anaesthetic. Apparently I need to be restrained to protect myself and the hospital staff. The hospital I was in could not do this, so they passed me off to another hospital. I went through the full evaluation by the CATT team and then they passed me off to another private hospital without telling them of my extreme agitation after treatment. After telling the new hospital, the passed on treating me as well. I tried all the private facilities over ETC and none will treat me. So I went back to the second hospital. Even though I was only evaluated by the CATT team a couple of weeks ago, I now have to go through the full process again. Then if they accept me for ECT they will not book a date. I have to go to hospital emergency and sit and wait for a bed to become free, apparently this could mean sitting in the waiting room for up to 2 days. The private hospital system will do ECT as a outpatient, the public system will not. The worst thing for my depression is to be confined to a hospital with nothing to occupy my mind. Being in hospital for 4 weeks is not possible for me to handle. So 2 psychiatrists recommend ECT for me. I am at the end of my rope. I can't go on like this. But they make it so I can't get the treatment I need.

Behindthebeard My BPD is back with a vengeance
  • replies: 1

I'm a 32 year old male, father of four and happily married, but I'm afraid that my borderline personality disorder is back and hurting my family. I was diagnosed four years ago after suffering from depression alcohol and drug abuse, I was in a bad pl... View more

I'm a 32 year old male, father of four and happily married, but I'm afraid that my borderline personality disorder is back and hurting my family. I was diagnosed four years ago after suffering from depression alcohol and drug abuse, I was in a bad place and put myself into hospital and from there I got the help and understanding I needed, after about 8-12 months I was able to get off the medication which was for more the depression not the BPD, I then met my wife and have not looked back, up until about 6 months ago I noticed I would snap easily and turn small inconveniences into a MASSIVE deal, I hate that I can get so frustrated so easily and I feel like its taking a toll on my family, I can see this in them and it hurts me more so I hurt myself when no one is around, I have over the years had about 8 different jobs and have made excuses to leave all of them and I'm never confident in what I do, I have pushed family and friends away and as of now only have one friend and the everyone else is family, none of which really know or understand what BPD is, I have recently been doing some mindfulness work and have gone back to my doctor to start a new mental health plan but in between all this I am still struggling with anxiety being unmotivated and having very bad mood swings from being really happy and ready for the day to hating everything and everything I do is wrong or not working, I need help to control these BPD attacks because I don't want my family to suffer because of my BPD

jules781 unsure on depression or anxiety
  • replies: 14

Hi everyone long time reader, first time poster. As my title suggest I am unsure on my issues. I will tell you a little about my self. I am 29 years old, overall I have a good life, I have a good job with potential, good family, small group of friend... View more

Hi everyone long time reader, first time poster. As my title suggest I am unsure on my issues. I will tell you a little about my self. I am 29 years old, overall I have a good life, I have a good job with potential, good family, small group of friends, and a few close friends. 2 years ago my girlfriend of 4 years left me, it upset me, I have since gotten over it and moved on. It was mainly my doing causing her to leave because of my issues. I have a lot of uncertainty, very stagnant and lack motivation in a lot of things I do. Lately it has been getting worse, I always feel down, lonely and want to run away. I went and worked interstate for 6 months thinking it will help, and I ended up hating it and came back home, now that I am home I miss it and want to go back. I am always looking for something, I feel lost, no confidence and even in my job I have lost drive. I enrolled in a course a while ago and I was confident, once it came to assessment I crumbled under pressure and just froze and failed, even the teacher was surprised with the result. I went for a re test, and same thing once assessment happened, I froze and stuffed up. I feel like I am struggling with learning, understanding and feel like I don't know why I am here for. Don't worry I am not having any self harm thoughts, but I simply just sit in my room during the week after work with no motivation, once the weekend comes I do some fishing which relaxes me or I might go away and escape everything, but once I go back to reality I feel trapped and want to run away but I cant as I have commitments here like a job and mortgage. I look at everyone else and see how they are happy and even people with less than me (not that I'm saying I have a lot or I'm better than anyone) and yet I cant understand how I am not happy with my self. To put it simply, I feel like a big loser and it is effecting my day to day life with my concentration as I simply just don't care anymore. I am very disappointed that I failed my assessment as it would of been good for a career change. I am going for a 3rd test in a few weeks and I am nervous and sick of spending countless money if I am going to fail. It hurts the most when I see people less capable that pass and I know I am good at what I do, just lately lack the drive and confidence. It is the complete opposite of what I used to be. I was confident, up lifting, helped everyone and wasn't scared to give anything a crack. Thanks for reading my big essay :).

sadspatula Managing depression - I need your success stories
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum but not our pal Clinny D (clinical depression). I'm here because I can't find the light switch to this dark room anymore and I need for you guys to open the curtains so I can see outside and realise that things will... View more

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum but not our pal Clinny D (clinical depression). I'm here because I can't find the light switch to this dark room anymore and I need for you guys to open the curtains so I can see outside and realise that things will get better. Damn, no idea why so many metaphors. I've had depression since maybe 2014 and it's been an unpleasant journey trying to find the thing that works for me. I've taken various antidepressants under the guidance of my GP with no relief so was referred to a psychologist, who unfortunately I didn't find particularly helpful. I've recognised areas of my life that I want to improve on and took action in getting myself to a better place with these. My life is good but my brain isn't. Lat year I was finally referred to a psychiatrist which I was very excited and relieved about, but next month it's been 1 year since I started seeing him and I'm not better off for it. I know I can't expect fast results with medication as they take a long time to work (or not) but right now I'm feeling very discouraged. Combined with my GP, I think I've tried 3 SSRIs, 2 SNRIs, 1 antidepressant that works with melatonin, 1 mood stabiliser and 1 antipsychotic. Right now I'm on an SNRI, mood stabiliser and antipsychotic and just recently was put onto a thyroid hormone as my blood test showed a slightly underactive thyroid (nothing major). I've been trying to exercise, eat better, socialise etc but nothing seems to be working for me anymore and I'm terrified. That's where you guys come in. I would really love to hear your stories, particularly those of you who struggled for a long time in finding the right thing that worked for you. I'd be particularly interested in those of you who have tried various medications before finally find the one that clicked. I need to see that this is all worth it and not to give up, because I'm about ready to chuck my psychiatrist out the window and run away. I don't know what I should be expecting from a "good" psychiatrist. Any thoughts on this would be very helpful. Thank you.

Sunnybeach Separated, struggling and drowning
  • replies: 2

Hi I've never posted or been involved in a forum before. I'm recently separated and struggling badly. I have had manageable depression for 20 years. I've always come out of the fog but now I just can't seem to find my way. I work long hours as a poli... View more

Hi I've never posted or been involved in a forum before. I'm recently separated and struggling badly. I have had manageable depression for 20 years. I've always come out of the fog but now I just can't seem to find my way. I work long hours as a police detective, have my kids every other week and the limited time I have to myself i just want to sleep. I'm falling behind in work, ignoring family and friends and have lost the drive to pretty much anything. I exercised every day but now can't seem to focus on doing even that. I use all my energy to fake being happy and engaged so the kids don't see it. I seem to be stuck in a world that has collided my biological depression with situational depression. My rational brain tells me I will come through this but right now I seem to be just drowning..

isthisfantasea Feeling alone after break up
  • replies: 4

I moved out of my boyfriend's house a couple of months ago, because I felt stifled the entire time I lived there. He would pressure me to go his his family's house every single weekend and I knew his family did not really like me all that much. I hav... View more

I moved out of my boyfriend's house a couple of months ago, because I felt stifled the entire time I lived there. He would pressure me to go his his family's house every single weekend and I knew his family did not really like me all that much. I have been in university trying to catch up on life, as I spent the first 5 years after school unable to attend university due to poverty and mental health problems. I always felt kinda judged for not having already gotten through uni. And on top of that, my boyfriend had been physically abusive toward me, as well as neglectful and emotionally pretty abusive as well. Despite all that, I had a comfy life and a pet cat, and he would still comfort and cuddle me. Now that I've moved out, I'm starting to really regret my decision. I went to visit him once, and he called the police on me without warning and for no reason other than to tell them to tell me to go away. So I know he has no respect for me, but I still have these horrible feelings that I have thrown away a perfectly good situation. I feel incredibly alone, and am finding it really hard to continue studying at uni without him in my life. I kind of feel like everything I am doing is for nothing, and that I have nobody, and that even if I do finish my degree, that nobody will hire me because I am a failure, etc. I am considering taking a break from uni and going to tafe to study cert in fitness, as I genuinely enjoy all that stuff... And that would mean I can end up in a job sooner. I'm just scared. I'm really scared. What if that doesn't work out? Then what do I do? I barely have any relevant work experience, so if I finish studies I'm terrified I won't be able to make rent. I'm so scared. I have no safety net. Except for like, one friend, who is very supportive of me but obviously its not the same as having family who will help. I need some kind of reassurance that things will work out okay. Right now I'm freaking out and I feel like I'm screwing up my life so bad. I honestly am beginning to really loath uni so much. I like the area I study in, but the system itself (having to study electives) makes study very difficult to keep up with, and means me having to draw out the length of my degree just to complete the electives. Is tafe better than uni? Someone please help.

erin000 I think I have borderline...
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, Im 24 and still struggle to know where I fit in, in life. I have always felt this way and always struggled to find a career or direction that I feel content in. I will have intense ideas to make dramatic change in my life and convince m... View more

Hey everyone, Im 24 and still struggle to know where I fit in, in life. I have always felt this way and always struggled to find a career or direction that I feel content in. I will have intense ideas to make dramatic change in my life and convince myself it will make me happier, I always try and hold back on making big changes as I know it’s impulse. I have always felt odd or like people don’t approve of me, and carry this into every situation. It’s always been challenging to make friends and when I do they almost always struggle mentally themselves (relationships also). They are all intelligent/ switched on individuals but usually are quite self loathing and erratic with their friendships, I find myself constantly trying to please them and seek validation even if they are a bad friend. I romanticise validation and find myself day dreaming about situations where I feel validation or admiration (usually socially). I consistently over analyse conversations after they have happened and scour through what I should have said, my inner voice telling me that I’m an idiot which usually sends me into a spiral of anxiety. I can never switch off my mind, it’s a loud and overwhelming place to be. I generally am quite irritable, especially with my family members and find it hard to accept help, love or empathy from them and others. I am really sensitive to rejection and find it leads me to be relatively depressed, this could be as little as a guy not getting back to me or even a small amount of constructive feedback at work. I generally internalise it and can cope quite well but I get to the point where I feel like I’ll burst. I have never self harmed or attempted suicide. I have thought about no longer being here and how it would be easier but knew I would never action those feelings. I’m really struggling to feel safe and secure within my daily life. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Jessie_L Manager Problems
  • replies: 2

I had been given my casual contract to sign 2 weeks ago and was told i will be called for induction by the manager. I called after 1 week and she said my contract has been given to HR for processing and they havent gotten back to her. I waited for an... View more

I had been given my casual contract to sign 2 weeks ago and was told i will be called for induction by the manager. I called after 1 week and she said my contract has been given to HR for processing and they havent gotten back to her. I waited for another week and i had gut feeling something was wrong so i called this week which 3 rd week going. I have a friend who works there and she told me she asked HR and they havenot received my contract from her. i was shocked since i am very desperate for a job. i called the manager and said if il get an induction simetime soon and she said hurryingly said that my contract is still in HR and i said that i contacted them and they said its not there. she quickly changed and said the contract is with her and she has to fill missing papers. I was calm and said ok thanks. when hung i up the phone i cried that i am being treated like this. My friend advised me to talk to higher post manager and i did call and ask that if my contract has been sent to HR, he said he will have a look and call. He didnot call me back since than. I was depressed whole day and today. i havent eatten much for 2 days. My husband got worried too since i have been looking for job more than 3 years. Why is she treating me like this? i havent even started the job and she is treating me like trash. What can i do? I feel like dieing because i finally saw that il get my self worth by working. I dont deserve this at all.

Michael9 Ceasing Antideppresants and having terrible withdrawals - hospitalisation or is this just wasting people's time?
  • replies: 1

After approx 12 years on Antideppresants, last 2 years @ 300mg daily, a new psych in Adelaide, which took 11 weeks to see as a new patient, 7 week gap then took place due to his scheduled holidays. As a result though I completed the taper & am off an... View more

After approx 12 years on Antideppresants, last 2 years @ 300mg daily, a new psych in Adelaide, which took 11 weeks to see as a new patient, 7 week gap then took place due to his scheduled holidays. As a result though I completed the taper & am off antideppresants but not yet on any alternative. The script he gave me was refused filling by two local chemists. I called my Melbourne Doc & he agreed to not touch it as it was more addictive than antideppresants & could not see how a psychiatrist after 2 sessions could diagnose me. The psych hasn't for clarity. The withdrawals have made me beyond irritable & following quitting my job to take care of my elderly father a year ago, I'm at breaking point in terms of frustrations & anger, I am in no danger to myself & pose none to others. However I haven't slept for more than 11 days have no access to sleeping medication (which went from instant sleep to needing at least 3 tabs to get to sleep for perhaps 2 hours). Valerian etc is all a waste & I eat sleeping medication like tic tacs (kidding, but nowhere near strong enough) My GP in Adelaide said there were very few good psychiatrists in Adelaide & doing a search on this site and the RANZCOP with a 50km radius came up with NONE! Do I present to a hospital? I have hospital cover & full extras, but I am concerned that I do not want to endure a cinematic experience & end up there for life in a wheelchair staring out a window. I can function but I need something to curtail these withdrawals. I've often wondered if my depression is just symptomatic of something else (I have mountains of books I buy each week but never read, no motivation etc) but it's unreasonable for a new psych to be able to diagnose this after 2 sessions & sadly due to more holidays (his) I can't see him again til May. This is the antideppresant withdrawals I know (I hope). Is Adelaide really that hard to get a good doctor? I've been trying since September & have clearly drawn a dud after waiting 11 weeks for my 1st appointment. Any advice, suggestions would be appreciated. Should I present to a hospital (Flinders or?) I just don't want to create a future problem with my private health cover, employment opportunities etc by taking this step. Will this just pass on its own in a few weeks? For those of you that beat antideppresants eventually, did your sweating stop? That was one of the worst things about it, but now I'm very irritable, sad, exhausted and can't remember the last time I felt really alive.

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