feeling lost

[TRC92]

HI

I have had depression since my teenage years, trialing many different CBT and medications. i am 26 now and self manage my depression most of the time as i react with most medications. when i was 17 i was in a relationship with someone who i ended up getting married to. i had a not so good childhood and i seemed to have had followed that abuse with my partner. we were together for 6 years in which during that time i lost my identity. we split 3 years ago and during the time of it, it was very traumatic and emotionally abusive, to the point now where my short term memory is terrible compared to what is used to be and i forget the simplest things and sometimes even what i am doing when i am in the middle of a task. financially it has been horrible to but most of that has subsided. that is a brief over view of my history.

last week i had a really bad episode, probably the worst i have had in a few months and i am struggling to get out. its like i am here but it doesnt feel that everything around me is real, and my mood changes dramatically with the smallest thing. i just feel so tired and i dont want to go back to a therapist or take medications as i dont find these helpful to me. i almost feel like the inside wants to just shut down. physically i feel ok but the rest of me doesnt. my spirit feels tired. any suggestions as to what people try to help themselves get better

[Quercus]

Hi TRC92 and a belated welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry it has taken so long for you to recieve a reply. It isn't a reflection on your post just the unfortunate nature of the forums at times. We're human and we miss posts sometimes.

I do hope you are able to return and talk some more. One thing I was hopeful to learn about is what you are open to trying in order to help yourself?

There are methods you can use to help with poor short term memory (mine is shocking too) such as recording and documenting details to help you keep better track of everything. But in my experience making changes like this are exhausting.

For me at least medications and especially seeking out professional support were the first steps I had to take to feel able to even try to help myself. I was beyond self help and needed support first.

I guess what I am thinking is that wanting to avoid therapy and medication... Is it safe considering how exhausted you feel?

Ultimately you know yourself best. Do you think self help techniques will help you? Do you have the energy? Or would it be better to seek medical help even if you haven't had helpful experiences in the past?

If you feel able I would love to hear how you are managing.

Nat