No one helps

[thatpersoncody]

A couple of months ago, I started to feel really crap about depression. I felt alone, disgusting and unwanted. I decided to write a note to my friend explaining my situation. It took me about three days to write and have to guts to go up to him and give it to him. So we were hanging out outside. I approached him, took him to the side and told him to read it and come to me when he was finished. I walked off and regretted the decision right away. Once he was finished he came up to me and told that I was messed up and that I'm always happy so I can't have depression. He continued to deny that I was suffering and brushed it off his shoulder. Everytime I try to talk about it he just ignores it and avoids the subject. It took me another four months to attempt to tell someone else. Now I feel that I can't trust anyone and no one can help or comfort me. Does anyone have any advice or any sort of help for my situation?

[smallwolf]

thatpersoncody,

Hey. Hello. Welcome to beyond blue.

Here is the thing. I will guess that you look fine on the outside. But how you feel on the inside is different. And others cannot see that part of you. Are you the sort of person that can look happy but when you are alone, the demons in your mind come out?

After I starting seeing a psychologist for my issues, I had to explain to my wife what I was going through. And the thing was, she did not have a real understanding of of mental health problems. And so I explained how it worked in me. And in that regard, all of our stories are different, and yet the same (in some aspects).

So I believe you when you said that you felt alone, unwanted and disgusting. And it is sad that when you gave a note to your friend, when you were reaching out for help, it was absent. But not everyone gets it, or understands. I have had that experience myself.

I think the best thing you could do now is the K10 test on the beyond blue web site and then see what recommendation it gives. And depending on the recommendation, you could even print it out and take it your GP.

Most importantly, I want you to know that you are not alone, especially on this site. Here like minded people will help and support you on this journey. You were brave to tell your friends, despite the response, and you are brave to tell part of your story here. It takes great courage not only to recognise you need help, but the reach out for it.

I hope you might stick around, come back, and tell more of your story.

Sending peaceful and comforting thoughts to you,

Tim

[Doolhof]

Hi thatpersoncody,

I too welcome you to the community here. Tim has explained mental health issues and some people's responses really well. Unfortunately, some people just don't understand depression.

Also like Tim mentioned, people here understand depression and mental health issues. No one here will tell you to just get on with it or that you are really not as bad as you think you are. Depression is real. It can be different for each person.

So how can we help you? Have you been to see a Dr to talk to them about how you are feeling? If you can't express yourself in words, then write a note for the Dr. I have done that and it works really well.

There is a lot of information on this site about how to deal with depression and how to tell people.

It is disappointing a couple of people have not taken you seriously. That does not mean that everyone will treat you that way.

Do you have a family member whom you think might be able to listen to you and help you?

You are certainly most welcome here!

Cheers to you from Dools

[thatpersoncody]

Doolhoof,

Thanks for replying, it really is appreciated to know that someone is willing to comfort and help me. Unfortunately, I don't have a doctor to talk to because I still haven't told my parents about my depression. I'm too scared that they will think its hormones, as I'm only 12. I'm also too scared to talk to my school councilor, because I'm afraid it will get out and everyone will know. I'm afraid everyone will treat me differently. Also the only relatives I have that I can talk to are my parents because I immigrated to Australia from South Africa in November of last year. As I said earlier, I'm too scared to talk to my parents because I think they won't understand. Thank for replying and trying to help me!

Sincerely

Cody

[smallwolf]

Hey, me again. I noticed that you are don't want to speak to anyone about your thoughts. I understand your concern. I also think your parents would also be concerned for you as well.

Though the first time you speak with a school counselor they should explain to you about confidentiality. So you should feel safe in talking to them. Of course that might not stop other kids knowing you are speaking with the school counselor.

I see a clinical psychologist, and there are a few clients who are kids about your age. If you have an issue to discuss...

You can write here if it will help you, and we will always respond, but we are not professionals.

Let me know how you are going.

Tim

[Doolhof]

Hi Cody,

It is really tough when you feel like no one understands. When I was 12 my life was really messed up in my head! I was having thoughts of suicide at your age, so I do understand what it is like. I am over 50 now. Back when I was your age, there was very little help for people with mental health issues.

Like Tim mentioned, any appointment you make and anything you discuss with the school counsellor is confidential. If anyone asks what you are seeing them for, maybe you could say it is because you are homesick for South Africa or tell them it isn't their business.

Do you have an idea as to what is making you feel depressed? For me at your age it was having a sick mother, being bullied at school and my younger sibling was the family favourite and I felt like I didn't belong.

Would you feel comfortable calling Beyondblue on 1300 22 4636 so you can talk to a support worker? They may be able to advise you on services that are available to you in your area.

There is also a Kids Line on 1800 551 800.

Maybe you could write down how you are feeling, look up symptoms of depression on Google and write down what you relate to and present that to your parents.

Like Tim mentioned, we are not professionals but we do care. Please know you can write as much as you need to or are comfortable doing here. This is a confidential and safe place for us all.

Hope you are coping okay! Cheers to you from Doolhof