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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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AndrewXyz my thoughts on the cause of mood disorders vs psychology. It's from abuse, not hormones?
  • replies: 2

Men get mood disorders too. No shrink ever told me is was because of my hormones! In the 15 years psychology has a crack at my issues, they couldn't figure it out. I had to work out the cause of my PTSD myself, and that was also the cause of my mood ... View more

Men get mood disorders too. No shrink ever told me is was because of my hormones! In the 15 years psychology has a crack at my issues, they couldn't figure it out. I had to work out the cause of my PTSD myself, and that was also the cause of my mood disorders too - my family! I've gone through life feeling like i was worthless, i was always bullied, or abused in relationships, and would wonder why me? Why do people even my family always look down on me. I always thought it was something I did, until I finally asked the question, when did my family start treating me differently. I thought it was going to be a daunting task digging up old memories, except the memories i needed were instantly there, because they were all those incidents throughout childhood, teenage, adults years that i could never shake off, they were triggered too easily, and this time around I realised they were showing me that my family had always treated me differently from a very young age, well before I could ever be held responsible for my actions. I was never allowed to stand up for myself, the punishments would get harsher leading up to solitary confinement. (Abusive people do not want to give up control, and will fight, kids cant fight adults). My PTSD started with a memory of being abandoned by my family, which led to depression and behavioral issues, which lowered my families opinion of me even further. Goodwill never applied to me, it never mattered what effort i put in, one false move was enough to be severely punished, or denied ever single major birthday my brother had. I tried talking to family about this for years, and was told it's all in my head, i'm playing the victim, get my head out of the past and move on. But i was never able to move on form the past because the answer were there. I realised I wasn't the weak one, my family were the weak ones for taking their issues out on the easiest target, the high functioning autistic kid who would struggle to form sentences, and they still are to this day, because they can never admit they have a problem, and will never fix it. The cycle of violence runs in my family, and I developed a mood disorder purely because of their treatment. I also realised that my family and a lot of society treats me the same way women have been treated for thousands of years. I think saying the problem is caused by hormones undermines women, by making them think they are the cause of their own problem, not society/families.

Guest_1584 How much time do you spend in bed, especially if your single ?
  • replies: 10

Hi people. Since divorce and living alone most of the time, and now a mostly long distance part time relationship, l spend more and more time in bed. lt's getting ridiculous but l really enjoy it and it's all l feel like . Don't get me wrong , l'm ve... View more

Hi people. Since divorce and living alone most of the time, and now a mostly long distance part time relationship, l spend more and more time in bed. lt's getting ridiculous but l really enjoy it and it's all l feel like . Don't get me wrong , l'm very active through the day , usually awake by 6.30ish , grab coffee come back to bed and pc an hr or two. Get up hang around, coffee shower, breaky , get out to work. l work for myself at home, outside work though not a home office. Also renovating , got projects going in the workshop outside or work stuff and a pile of things around the property too. l get out through the day too, shops or lunch in one of the other towns, up to our main town a few days a wk. Thing is bc l don't work 9 -5 and get plenty of free time to do all the stuff going on through the day , l'm pretty well done by 3 or 4 in the arvo with anything, work included. Well l've started loving an arvo nap and a glass of wine, but then end up hanging round in bed/ pc till 7 or 8 , usually from around 4ish. Get up watch a few shows, some tea, but less and less can l be bothered with tv or sitting round , tv/ movies, especially on these winter nights so a few hrs and l just come back to bed lately. l am depressed most of the time but at least l get work done and heaps of stuff through the day. Have hardly any visitors ,mainly gf when she's down again and staying , or my daughter . So mostly l'm just on my own and just can't be bothered with anything once the days over, not even movies lately. Anyone else spending these kinda hours in bed ? My gf does to actually , here or when she's up home. We're very similar and both get heaps done through the day but just can't be bothered with anything later on. rx

JackieE Does my depression mean I will forever be alone?
  • replies: 4

Hi all. I have had recurrent major depressive disorder for over 20 years. I've now hit 40. I'm married and in a high pressure job. I've tried many different types of medication - as well as having times off all medication (bad idea). I have just come... View more

Hi all. I have had recurrent major depressive disorder for over 20 years. I've now hit 40. I'm married and in a high pressure job. I've tried many different types of medication - as well as having times off all medication (bad idea). I have just come out of a major depressive episode that required 4 weeks off work. I have always been upfront about my illness - to my partners and colleagues. I warned/told my (now) husband of 11 years, before we started dating seriously, that I had been diagnosed with depression in my teens and needed to be on medication. I was very clear. But now, 11 years on, it's all too difficult for him. He told me I made him anxious. He feels like he needs to save me and that he is constantly on alert/vigilant. He complains about our lack of a sex life (but, hey, the meds keep me working and I pay the mortgage so....he benefits financially). He told me to leave. 5 months of separation and it looks like divorce is inevitable. My question is this - should I accept that by virtue of my depression I will always be alone? I am too difficult to handle? Does anyone else think this? If not - how do you deal with those thoughts? Thanks in advance.

Living57 Hit rock bottom and I dont know how to cope
  • replies: 1

I've just moved to a new house its everything I want. You think I'd be happy but I'm finding it hard. I've had to rely on a family member to help me and my anxiety peaked and I started questioning had I used him too much, I probably could have done t... View more

I've just moved to a new house its everything I want. You think I'd be happy but I'm finding it hard. I've had to rely on a family member to help me and my anxiety peaked and I started questioning had I used him too much, I probably could have done things myself albeit slower. I'm now lost. I feel absolutely miserable and have spent the last few days bursting in to tears and crying. I am so alone. My depression is starting to be my everyday. I can't fo anything, my motivation is gone. I have no energy and no interest in anything. I've spent today laying in bed because the thought of getting up and having to do something to get the house sorted is too much for me. I am at the bottom of the hole and the black dog is not letting me out. I just wish the hole would cave in around me.

Me2428 Vicarious trauma, depression and PTSD symptoms plus a disintegrating marriage - I'm struggling
  • replies: 2

I am a counsellor and I worked with a huge amount of trauma and abuse, both with perpetrators and victims/survivors. I broke down doing this work as a result of vicarious trauma and my own childhood issues of abuse. I was, and still am, experiencing ... View more

I am a counsellor and I worked with a huge amount of trauma and abuse, both with perpetrators and victims/survivors. I broke down doing this work as a result of vicarious trauma and my own childhood issues of abuse. I was, and still am, experiencing PTSD symptoms, particularly intrusive thoughts and I get triggered a lot. I go to pieces when I get triggered. When things were getting bad I became depressed and was close to losing my mind. My relationship with my wife became verbally and psychologically toxic and although we are still together, we continue to drift further and further apart. So much of my life has disappeared. I miss my father and brother who have both passed away, I am estranged from my mother and I barely ever get to see my sister due to Covid and distance. My daughter has been impacted by my poor parenting and my son also struggles with depression. I have no friends anymore. I am very much alone and I am struggling. I believe I will soon separate from my wife which will mean I leave our family home and will likely be homeless. My employment is likely to end at the end of the financial year because my work cannot put me back on counselling work and I agree with them on this. I feel totally lost and as I said, I am feeling very much alone. I don't know why I am writing this, I am just grasping for something. My usual self-care is failing me and my meds are not helping as much as I would like. Again, I am losing control and I'm worried I am starting to spiral again. I don't have any idea what to do anymore.

bee_w21 Hello all, new here
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I will say I am new here because it has been a quite a few years since I have posted. I little background on me - I'm in my mid-thirties, I moved interstate around 8 years ago to pursue further study, but also to kind of escape from a toxic l... View more

Hi all, I will say I am new here because it has been a quite a few years since I have posted. I little background on me - I'm in my mid-thirties, I moved interstate around 8 years ago to pursue further study, but also to kind of escape from a toxic longterm romantic relationship and toxic family dynamic. Growing up my father was quite abusive (emotionally and sometimes physically) and I was bullied quite a lot in school. I would say my self esteem has been very low for most of my life, and on reflection I would say I have been experiencing anxiety and depression since I was a child. I have also had issues with alcohol abuse, which seems to run in my family. Moving interstate was the best decision for me, but those first few years were very difficult. My self esteem was in shreds, and the only person I knew was the best friend of my ex-partner. While they were supportive and lots of fun in some ways, they were also quite narcisstic and quite into the party scene. During that time I was drunk and hungover a lot, whilst also trying to study full time and work to support myself. I managed to obtain my degree but I performed very poorly. I was also struggling with quite a lot of social anxiety which made it difficult to form friendships and so I was quite lonely a lot of the time. And I was constantly looking outside of myself for validation, felt very lost and out of touch with who I really was, and so that made it difficult to connect with others. I would say now that I am in quite a good place. I've cut some toxic people out of my life and formed some good friendships - not heaps, but a few that feel fulfilling. I have a wonderful partner who shares my vision of what a good life is. We live in a great neighboorhood, in a modest but comfortable apartment, and we have enough money to treat ourselves to nice experiences. I know I have a good life and there is so much to be grateful for, but I still have days when I feel very low and empty, and I struggle to get out of bed. I think mostly I just feel numb, and then I'll have one really bad day once a week where I spend the day in bed crying. I was seeing a psychologist but I got the point where it started to feel indulgent - I wasn't feeling distressed, but I wasn't feeling good, and I didn't know how to move forward. I started to feel ashamed for feeling the way I did given the hardships many others are experiencing, and so I stopped and now I just feel stuck.

anonymous85231 Family & work is this all there is ...
  • replies: 2

I'm struggling. In the last decade my life has changed substantially and I'm not sure for the better. In the last decade I fell in love, followed her to the other side of the world, got married, had a kid, qualified in my profession got a couple of p... View more

I'm struggling. In the last decade my life has changed substantially and I'm not sure for the better. In the last decade I fell in love, followed her to the other side of the world, got married, had a kid, qualified in my profession got a couple of promotions ... everything you could want right? Between the stress of my job, the lack of intimacy in my marriage, a kid that takes any remaining energy I have, the lack of friends I now have because I moved to a country where I know no-one and no time to make new ones, Covid and isolation has ended other friendships I just don't see a way out. Add to this the wife wanting a second kid (and time is against her), we want to buy a house, but the added financial stress of doing so scares the crap out of me and throw in a healthy dose of my mother-in-law having lived with us for the last 16 months as she got stuck in this country because of covid and I find myself wanting to scream. 9 months ago I was feeling similar. I decided to share some of this with my wife (mother-in-law, intimacy) but nothing changed. I asked to go for family counselling to address our mismatched libido but she says it's a function of our kid taking all her energy and her mother being here. At that point we hadn't had sex in over a year. Now the only time we are intimate is when she thinks she's ovulating and even then it's once every couple of months at best. I also decided back then to focus more on myself, got back in the gym, tried to make plans away from the family, but fast forward and I just dont have the energy to do so. It's reached the stage where I just want to sleep all day. I can barely drag myself out of bed let along engage with others. I'm increasingly irritable at work. I love my wife, most days I love my job, I love my son. So why do I feel like this. What is wrong with me?

Johnny_was_down Facebook thread
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Hi I am getting this on my Facebook thread how do I say this is real and I will be suffering this for the rest of my life ? I have got systems in place to help me get through when I’m feeling down and am good at this time , now I can’t post the threa... View more

Hi I am getting this on my Facebook thread how do I say this is real and I will be suffering this for the rest of my life ? I have got systems in place to help me get through when I’m feeling down and am good at this time , now I can’t post the thread but it’s a depression one maybe you have seen it?

Bubble44 What should I do now that I've completely given up?
  • replies: 4

Firstly don't panic I don't plan on committing suicide. But the will to live is pretty much all I have left. I am 100% certain nothing will ever get better. It's just after everything I've been through I owe it to myself to seize whatever tiny happy ... View more

Firstly don't panic I don't plan on committing suicide. But the will to live is pretty much all I have left. I am 100% certain nothing will ever get better. It's just after everything I've been through I owe it to myself to seize whatever tiny happy moments I might have by living a full life. They don't make it worth it, but I don't believe in an afterlife where I'll be happy or anything so those moments are all I've got. My family abused me. Most of my friends abandoned me because I and several others (who luckily I'm still friends with) have the horrific opinion that rape is wrong. I'm pretty sure most girls would rather do anything else than start a relationship with me. The second they notice my anxiety or depression, they vanish. Every time. Hope is pain. That's all it is. Every time I let myself feel hope the world finds a way to spit in my face. It's like I only exist to watch other people find happiness. I'm just an extra in their story because no one ever thought I deserved one of my own. And they never will. It's like the only thing that keeps me going is misery, which is insane. But it's the strongest part of me and pretty much the only thing in my life that I can trust. It will always be there when I wake up in the morning. It's like misery is my bones. It's all that even holds my sanity together. Sorry for the overdramatic poetry but I can't be bothered to tell my full story right now. I just wanted to vent about how I feel. I have no idea what the hell to do with myself. Everything I ever do finds a way to crumble into nothing. Why should I bother trying at anything, ever? I know where it ends. Me, in a hospital bed at 80, dying of cancer and desperately wishing I killed myself when I was 21 (again, I won't. Don't panic).

poss93 The endless goal of life
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone, I'm new here and am looking for aspace tp discuss my thoughts and seek help and insight to other peoples thoughts on myown. I am 27 y/o currently work casual but maintain part-time hours whilst studying a Tafe course for youth work, I in... View more

Hi everyone, I'm new here and am looking for aspace tp discuss my thoughts and seek help and insight to other peoples thoughts on myown. I am 27 y/o currently work casual but maintain part-time hours whilst studying a Tafe course for youth work, I invest my time in out doo activities and love to attend my boxing classes and regular gym classes during the week. I am not new to depression and do see someone regularly as I can, I have had to drop out of my fulltime job as of August last year due to suicidal thoughts and bad mental health which I have had for most of my life (progressed more into my mid to late 20's). I would like to get another fulltime job again but can already feel and see what would happen. I know I would get sick of it straight away and struggle to maintain a positive attitude towards it every day. Even though just this is the first time I have dropped down from a fulltime position to casual position I'm scared that I wont be able to handle it. I need more income to work toward buying my own home and life expenses in general but I know that work life balance just wont be there any more. Part-time positions are so hard to come by even though I have been applying since December last year I haven't heard back at all. It is all starting to seem so pointless now and I don't know how people "normal people" push through just work and home life on a regular. I get so depressed and so dethatched, I just don't understand how others make it possible what should I do? How can I find motivation to push through and get a fulltime job again in a company or industry I don't really care about for the money?