Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Croix]

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon, his spurs clinking as he walks, his six-shooter slapping at his furry hip. He bellies up to the bar, stares down the bartender, and proclaims, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

[Eagle Ray]

A gardener says to a plant, “I’m going to give you a prune tomorrow”.

The plant replies, “I’d prefer a dried apricot thanks”.

[sbella02]

How do two lattes greet each other?

Milk-shake!

[quirkywords]

Q. Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?

A. It had great food, but no atmosphere.

[Croix]

What animal was the first one in space?

-a cow

[Eagle Ray]

What do you call an electrician who sings Elton John songs while working?

Socket Man

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone….🤗🩷..

Why does lightening shock people?

It doesn’t know how to conduct itself…

[Eagle Ray]

Grandy, that’s hilarious 🤣 

[sbella02]

On the electricity theme: 

My electrician friend accidentally messed up the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.

[Eagle Ray]

Why did the woman date an electrician?

Because she needed to find the spark again.