Hi Annie, welcome
Well it just so happens my daughter is an artist, a very good one and recently had her own exhibition that as you know costs her several hundred dollars to display.
She is a medically retired school teacher, retired through stress, bipolar (like me) and anxiety.
So she has over the last 3 years taken to painting as her main activity with the aim of making some income. I was dubious as I have over my working life tried many small businesses starting from home and none ever worked. I once worked out that all I had to do was make 100 cubby houses a year to make a good sound business...my best year I made and sold 14 and that was at xmas time.
So a fatherly chat with her to say that she needs to, when recovered, to seek part time work and treat her painting as a hobby fell on deaf ears. However she was lucky, her new husband has a well paid job.
Based on that and reading your post, what stands out is your anxiously reflection of your artistic desire overtaking your desire for working. That is understandable but...painting is fine if it paid the bills and put bread on the table. Better to seek out therapy/medication/treatment from a GP for your anxiety and depression so you can continue working and bring home the salary than look at ways to leave your workplace imo.
You have done extremely well in travelling and commuting, advancing yourself well. These activities are not a burden on your depression because they are things that are either exciting or distracting whereas employment is mundane. That could be tackled by experts.
I hope you are ok.
TonyWK
