Why is this happening to me???

[theblueboy]

Just registered and my 1st post.

Since I got stuck on an overcrowded train approx 5 years ago I have been been suffering from claustrophobia and anxiety. This has been manageable until last year when my mother passed away and I could not even make it back to Scotland for the funeral. I was so stressed I could barely leave the house. I managed to get back to work after a few weeks and again was managing my issues then one afternoon at work I took 2 phone calls which somehow stressed me so much I have not been back to work (work in a highly stressful environment which has people discussing possible suicide)

I was suppose to go back to work after 10 days then found out my wife's brother had killed himself. 

I have tried to get back to work but cannot use public transport anymore and now the thought of being trapped in the city is awful. On medication and speaking to mental health nurse but this morning couldn't even take a bus ride without feeling stressed and like I was going to faint.

need to get my life back. Don't understand this. 

Sorry for babbling but it's so frustrating and scary

[JessF]

Hello theblueboy, I am so sorry that you missed your mothers funeral. It sounds like that may have pushed your anxiety into overdrive. At times I have found it very difficult to be in public crowded spaces, and even simple trips to the supermarket have left me feeling panicked and I've abandoned my cart and rushed out.  Such terrible news about your wife's brother too.  How are you coping with that? I imagine supporting your wife around that must be adding stress too.

It is good that you are seeking some help and you are seeing someone. I am wondering about your work environment though, being in an environment where suicide is being discussed a lot wouldn't suit me at the best of times let alone when I am in a period of high anxiety, have you considered that maybe a change of job might be a good idea too? I know that's a big thing but sometimes we need to look at where the major sources of stress are coming from and eliminate them.