Wedding anxiety and physical symptoms

[sarahl]

Hi guys!

I've been really good with managing my anxiety through CBT and seeing my psychologist regularly over the past 10 year. I have wonderful support from my family and partner - I am very very lucky!

I'm getting married in October and I am so excited and thrilled to be able to spend my life with someone I care about and love so much, who feels the same about me.

The problem is (and it's not really a problem per se - it's our way of life!!) is that my anxiety tends to manifest with physical symptoms, even when I can completely and logically breathe through a situation. I tend to get stomach and bowel issues and quite hot, flustered and then dizzy.

I'm terrified this is what will happen at the wedding - a large group of people, a lot of pressure and stress - EEK!

In the past fortnight, I've had two anxiety attacks of this nature - after years of nothing, and I'm very worried I am creating my own little nightmare.

Has anyone had any similar experiences with a wedding or major speaking opportunity or something similar? Am considering taking a whole lot of anti-nausea meds before the big day just to block my system up - but obviously would rather work though the anxiety!!!

Thanks!

Sarah

[Zeal]

Hi Sarah,

Congratulations on your soon-to-be-wedding!

It's fantastic that you are regularly seeing a psychologist, have done CBT, and also have lots of social support. You are doing all the right things. Even with these strategies in place, sometimes life events can be overwhelming and can transcend these positive strategies.

I get anxious before certain events and situations. I experience heightened anxiety before public speaking, for instance. Last year, a few minutes into my oral presentation to my uni class, I experienced a strange hot and feverish sensation all over my body. I started feeling slightly nauseated, and even though I kept reading my speech, I was thinking in those moments that I may have to run out of the room to get some air. I just stood through it and it passed 🙂

This doesn't necessarily work for everyone, but riding out the anxiety is great because it proves to yourself that you are strong enough to overcome the sensations. Keep your psychologist informed about how you're feeling and what's going through your head. It sounds like your husband is super supportive 🙂

Just remember that on the day, people at the wedding are happy for you and are there because they care about you and your partner. While the number of people can seem overwhelming, you could focus on just a select few people. You will be accompanied down the aisle (I'm assuming by your father). You needn't worry about falling over or being shaky, because he will be there holding you. Also, your partner will be waiting for you at the end of the aisle. If you do start getting anxious, I feel you will be able to cope because of the close proximity to your partner.

I hope your wedding plans are going well, and that your wedding is enjoyable!

Best wishes,

SM

[moejo]

Hi Sarah

I feel your concerns because I had them not so long ago for my sons wedding, and when I'm too anxious I too suffer stomach and bowel problems which can be problematic in a ceremony!  I can only share with you how I got through it.  

I went to my doctor to see if there was anything I could take on the day, I'm not on any medication at present and only use vitamins etc to manage my anxiety.  He offered a tablet which I had taken with my initial anxiety diagnosis.  But I'm very sensitive and it basically knocks me out, so that was out of the question!  I did however take a beta blocker only because I get the shakes and that seemed to work a treat, these are also issued for people who get nervous like with public speaking but talk to your doctor about that one.

The other thing that helped me through and I've developed this coping mechanism over time and thats to block out whats happening around you, ie all those people etc and just focus on what needs to be done, its like having those horse blinkers on, I do it all the time when I go do the grocery shopping just to get through it sometimes.  And again at my sons wedding.  For me as long as I got through the ceremony the reception would be fine I knew that part would be more of a relaxed affair, plus a couple of ciders didnt hurt!!

Anyway I'm sure you will have a perfect day, and with your partner there to support you'll be fine.  Just remember everyone you have invited wishes you a beautifully wonderful day and it will be.

Jo