Turning down a job opportunity

[Eyre]

Hello. I’ve not written on this forum before. I have said yes to an amazing job opportunity but now I know I can’t do it. I know I’m going to feel humiliated by turning it down because I’ve told people already.

for the last 2 weeks (since interview) I’ve been unable to function properly, the only th8ng I want is to turn down the job offer and hide. How do I say no without disclosing my mental health issues? I don’t know why I said yes! This happens all the time, I say yes and then retreat. They already knew I had other chronic health problems- I have multiple autoimmune diseases that cause severe fatigue and chronic pain.

Im not entirely sure why I’m writing this, other than to get it off my chest.

[CJames]

Hi Eyre,

Welcome to the forums, it's an excellent place for you to express yourself judge free and anonymously.

It's terrific to hear you're actively seeking a job out there in the workforce. You mentioned that you "can't do it", is this the nerves getting to you?

Anxiety seems to be a significant influence on your life decisions, have you spoken to a GP or psychologist? I suggest going to talk to someone if you haven't already, it can do so much for your mental wellbeing while also trying to diagnose and solve the issue at hand. What I've said is easier said than done and I can understand taking such a step can be a considerable worry for yourself, but it's achievable, and I'd love to help you through that.

Have you thought about speaking with someone online, such as beyondblue or eheadspace (if you're under 25), this can be a great place to start and can point you in the right direction.

Regarding your mental health issues, that's certainly something not be ashamed of Eyre; it's something to embrace plus it's more common than you think. May I ask why you're afraid to disclose such matters?

Leaping life can be so hard, even for people who are not diagnosed with anxiety as such, many find it difficult because we're jumping into the unknown and I'd assume you would understand why people don't like the "unknown".

I'm sorry to hear about your health problems and wish you a safe, painless and speedy treatment.

The forums are a great place to get things off you're chest, no matter how big or small. It feels good to speak to someone, doesn't it? Even if it's just online.

Remember Eyre; there's no going backwards, only forwards.

I want to see you do well and if possible even see you take this job offer, but the main thing that matter's will this job make you happy in the long run?

Looking forward to your reply and keep us updated.

Catch ya,

C.

[sushilover283]

Hi Eyre,

I guess this probably isn't the advice you want to hear, but I guess i'm sharing it as you may find it comforting to know you aren't the only one feeling this way. I'm in 5th year uni, my anxiety has become debilitating lately. I impulsively quit my job as I identified it as a main stressor. I felt i couldn't do it... i don't know if it's helped or not; too soon to tell. But I just wanted you to know you're not alone!

[kned]

Hello!

I'm wondering how you went? Did you end up starting the job?

I wanted to reply because I too have been in your situation! I accepted a job last year and then regretted saying yes to it straight away. I was experiencing such extreme anxiety that I ended up talking to a professional and preparing myself for my first day.

I'm still in the same job now, and I still get anxiety but I am grateful that I pushed through and did the job. What have you got to lose? The company offered you employment because they saw potential in you! If it doesnt work out then its ok as well. Good luck with whatever you choose to do (if you havent already made the decision).

[Commitment]

Hi Eyre,

I recently had have the exact same experience as you've been through and totally understand where you came from.

After studying a postgraduate level of study for many years, I decided to get a job instead of studying further with my existing education qualification recently. Before this decision to start working, I've been suffering from depression and anxiety and had reached the lowest condition both psychologically and emotionally about 6 months ago.

I thought I was ready to work, but realised that I wasn't ready. So I withdrew my application to the job after passing the job interview successfully. It was dreadful in many ways; first preparing for saying no and finally said it to the interviewer and then having unavoidable fear attacking me that I might end up my life like this. No job and no future.

Whenever I reflect on my intention to get a job through my daily meditation, I guess I applied the job out of desperation and fear in order to avoid my unemployable life situation. I've been taking a break from working for a long term as I studied full time before and then due to my mental illness rather than finding a job out of my true passion as to what I love doing.

Other things I've noticed about myself in regarding to desperately looking for a job in my case, is that this action is more or less to avoid feeling like a loser, living with disability pension. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not judging people who receive the pension. What I meant by that, I have fear that the longer I don't work, the harder to get a job and somehow receiving the DSP makes me hard to get out of my comfort zone and challenge the life in reality, which I feel I should.

I'm still confused my current situation is temporary and need to wait for a right time to get a right job or explore the future with alternative plans. Or I should accept any job whoever offers me an opportunity.

It would be nice to get advice from people here how people are able to start working again after recovering mental health issues or with them.

Hope everyone stays feeling positive today.