Telephobia

[Nathan_431]

I just can't deal with the telephone. The anticipation of the telephone ringing and the ring itself even if I have it set to vibrate, I have to have the phone off. Receiving phone calls is a problem rather than making a call because not knowing who is on the other end. It affects me to gain employment, I'm ok with Facebook, instagram etc..., I try to get people to email otherwise they can't get hold of me. Everybody's default mode of contact is the telephone. This problem has been getting worse overtime.

Living in a relatively small regional city it feels I'm the only one. Does anyone have problems using or have anxiety with the phone?

[kanga_brumby]

What rely bugs me is I am on the do not call registrar. I still get calls flogging stuff, 9 times out of 10 can I speak to the home owner who is working please?

Point one I am on a pension,

Point two I rent

Point three its a silent number.

How are they getting my number when I don't give it out to anyone but friends or family.

[Cassar]

Hi nathan i am only new on here, but you most definatly are not alone. The phone ring,s my heart races and i get the shakes.Worrying somthing bad straight up. I suffer with anxiety and depression.I have just started seeing a physiocoligst.Been to 3 sessions now You need to be willing to see someone,there,s nothing wrong with seeking help and here i think is a good start.There is no expectations on you we just talk.Im sure someone here can give you guidence. Your not alone...

[White_Rose]

Hello Nathan

Welcome to Beyond Blue. It's good to meet you. I suppose many people get fed up being at the beck and call of their mobile phones. I forget to switch mine off and get calls at the most inappropriate times. But this is not what you are asking about is it.

Have you tried using the caller ID provision on your phone. If you enter the name and phone number of those people you are happy to speak to on your contacts list, you can see who is calling before you answer. Do you think this would be helpful to you? Depending on the type of landline phone you have, you can put caller ID on this phone.

So if you are expecting a phone call from a potential employer you can enter the name of the company and phone number on your contact list and will know if you want to answer.

Is this helpful for you? I hope so. Please write in again and let us if this is a good solution or if there is a different problem.

MAry

[Nathan_431]

Telemarketers are the worst, I don't understand how they get our numbers either or why they ring you when you're on the registrar.

[Nathan_431]

Thank you and welcome. Tonight is my first time on this forum since a couple of years ago. Depression and anxiety is definitely not fun, I from time to time I contemplate I only think about it but although I'm lonely I have family, nieces and nephews that I don't want to hurt. I have tried psychologists but I don't personally get anything out of it. Recovery Support groups worked well at the time but have lost contact with those.

[Nathan_431]

Thank you white rose, thank you for the suggestions. I don't have a landline only mobile phone but I don't understand why but if I attempt to turn it on, i become highly anxious and panicky, the anticipation, will it ring or not, the ringtone itself, I've tried setting it on vibrate only but then I see it vibrate even putting it on silent, the screen will light up, I just hate them. It's ok to use Facebook to communicate with people I know on there but when it comes to professionals, they expect you to use a phone. I need to figure out what employment opportunities out there that doesn't require me to answer a phone or being mainly on my own due to my social anxiety. I have regular appointments with disability employment services but they regularly change support workers on me which is frustrating.

[Croix]

Dear Nathan~

I can relate to what you are saying pretty much exactly. It may sound silly but I was afraid of both the phone and also my mailbox. I suffer from anxiety and other things which magnified my fears.

I'm a lot better nowadays due mainly to three things. The root cause, my old employment, ceased. I have had treatment for my mental conditions and finally I've gone out of my way to try to quell those irrational fears.

With the mailbox I used the technique of occasionally ordering small pleasant objects - like books or dvd's through the mail. This gave me a good reason to go see what had arrived. Over time my fear went away - though I admit on occasions it does come back a little.

With the phone a new unlisted number was a start, which I only gave to family and people that I would feel happy dealing with. I'd know from caller ID who it was ringing in most cases and there are some, like my wife, that I'm pleased to see calling.

Over time of course others started to ring in, however that change of number and picking who was going to call in did give me a breathing space. I also registered on the government 'opt out' site to stop telemarketers, which I think you may have done too.

Frankly my efforts with the phone have only been successful to a certain extent. I often still feel apprehensive when it rings, however the feelings are manageable and I can answer the thing without panicking.

I don't know how much of this is practical for you, and in any case I'm sorry I cannot give you an account that is 100% effective, but for me it has been a big help.

You mentioned DES, but have not said if you are under any treatment for anxiety. If you are it sounds like the regime needs reviewing as it is not completely effective. If you are not then perhaps it is time to consider getting help though your GP.

Please post back and talk more,

Croix

[Ajames]

Absolutely I do. But only at work. Its the fear of the unexpected, someone ringing to want something - will I be able to help them, will I make a fool of myself, will I sound like an idiot?

I have made it easier by learning to use the phone system at work - no one shows you so you always have to ask. And sometimes I will call them back once I know what they need, but its still a huge anxiety.

This may not help you much but all I can say is that yes, I am a fellow sufferer

[olly1]

I have had this my whole life. My mother would get so mad at me for running away from the phone. I also cannot answer the front door eg if the pizza/delivery man is coming. I always felt these were the same thing.

I'm ok at work though. I think that's because I'm my work self - not my real self.

Nice to know I'm not alone with this one.