Sudden prolonged panic episode HELP

[Mks90]

I am a 28 year old business professional with generalised anxiety disorder most of my life, nothing too serious. Something happened I want input on.

On New Years Day, I woke up 8:30 am with a mild hangover. At 10:30 I came over sweaty, weak, shivery and sick in the stomach (standard fare for hangover) but also a sensation of being unable to breathe correctly. I could breathe fine, I just felt like I wasn't. So began the four day ordeal I am still in the throes of. The symptoms of the hangover subsided, somewhat, but never went away.

For four days now I have been:

1. experiencing severe breathing anxiety (ie. "I might stop breathing, I feel like I have to concentrate on breathing, my chest isn't working", etc)
2. ongoing, non-stop nausea, enough to prevent me from eating - I have barely eaten this past few days
3. weakness and shaking and shivering - hot flushes, and a feeling like my whole body is about to shut down, or stop working
4. building sense of dread and terror about my condition that waxes and wanes but won't ever completely go away
5. a sense of altered mental state or altered consciousness - like I'm trapped in a fishbowl, and everything is subtly off, subtly different, and I'm sick and wrong inside, but when I try to pin down what precisely is different, I can't pinpoint anything.

This has never happened to me before. At first, I thought it was something the hangover did. I also took a small bit of weed to ease the anxiety, but that made me feel 1000% worse (never has before). In the last two days, realising it wasn't going to stop, I have had three bad panic attacks where I swear I thought I was dying. I shake, I get weak, I slide to the floor. Everything just feels like my last moments.

I'm terrified. I feel like I'm constantly holding my breath. Just existing is stressful... I've been clear of any drugs or substances for days now. I'm not a heavy drug user, just a bit of pot now and then.

This is new. I don't have any explanation for what triggered it. I've been stressed out a fair bit this last year, but I was on holidays and partying on New Years Eve when this all started.

Someone, anyone, please tell me this is going to end. If this doesn't stop soon, I don't think I can survive. Its that bad; I will kill myself.

I'm frightened. I just... need someone to tell me it will end. That I'm not broken beyond repair.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Mks90

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thanks for sharing with our community. We're writing this message as we are worried about your state of mind, and wanted to let you know that our Support Service will be reaching out to you. You can also reach out to them on 1300 22 4636 (24/7), or using the web chat feature at the top of the page between 3pm and midnight (AEDT).

Our friends at Lifeline are also great at providing support to get you through the tough moments, and can be reached on 13 11 14.

You might also like to consider reaching out to your GP to discuss how you're feeling. And if you feel like you're in immediate danger, please go to your nearest emergency room, or call 000. This is a safe space, where you can share and receive support from our community, so keep posting to let us know how you're going

[Mks90]

Thank you for your prompt response. I appreciate your concern, and I wanted to reassure you that despite my perhaps careless words, I am not suicidal. I more meant... if this doesn't resolve. It may be that after a month or so of this I'd become suicidal.

But the symptoms have started to ease. I felt a little better last night. This morning I woke up feeling sick again, but the hot flushes feeling like I'm about to pass out hasn't come back. I still don't feel right, but I get a sense that I might be slowly getting better.

I went to a GP two days ago, who concurred it was anxiety and nothing else seemed to be wrong with me. She ordered a blood test which I got done yesterday, still waiting on results.

Anyway, I'm in no immediate danger. I live with my partner who is keeping a close eye on me.

Its just a novel experience for me, the very first time this has happened, and I don't know if and when it will end. If I know that I can handle it. If someone else can pipe up and say, 'yeah that's like what I get, days / weeks at a time but it always ends' or something like that, I would feel so much better.

[LaraLollypops]

Hello Mks90,

I can assure you it will stop. I had the exact same feeling as you and though I knew I suffered from anxiety I actually thought I was dying. I had been at a festival had to much to drink. BUT it hit me and I thought i was having an actual heart attack, I couldn't breathe AT ALL, lost all feeling in my legs and fell to the floor and had NO CONTROL over my thoughts.... I called an ambulance!

The paramedic in the nicest way possible told me I was having a panic attack and they left.

Unfortunately just like you the feeling of despair didn't just go away the next day... i am so sorry to say it last for 3 full weeks. I was broken!! However after 3 weeks when I could at least breathe I went and got on SSRI medication straight away and starting seeing a therapist. I hated every moment of the therapist, the side effects from the medication but just like you I thought one way or another I was going to die.

3 weeks of HELL, 3 months of despair, 6 months of dealing with my shit and now 4 years on I am a fully functioning person who deals with their anxiety. Since that dreaded night just like the one you had I have only had the same once or twice again in 4 years.

You feel like it's GAME OVER but the hardest thing but the best thing you will ever do is hold on.

Emergency top tips, sit on the floor of the shower and turn it on COLD!!! and Deep Breathe from belly NOT chest!

Good luck lovely! It's so damn hard but YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS FINE THE OTHER END.

You may also be lucky and it last for just a day or 2 more. But don't ignore it like I did, go chat to some one in person and drop a tone of shit/negative thoughts on a professional who can deal with it better than us

x

[Em_B]

Hi Mks90

i can entirely relate to your situation. I went through the same thing 10 months ago! I had never signed up to the forums, but was regularly reading them to reassure myself I wasn’t on my own. Your story made me sign up to try and give you hope.

I woke up one morning basically in the middle of a panic attack, whether I’d had a dream that triggered it or not is still a mystery. Not to cause your anxiety to get worse, but from that point on I was anxious 24/7 for what felt like forever and it felt like it was never going to end no matter what my GP or anyone else said.

i don’t want to make this all about me, but after reading these forums, I was convinced to go and see my GP who prescribed some meds and despite my reluctance we did a mental health plan and referred me to a psychologist. The bad news is, this didn’t relieve me of my anxiety overnight and that was something both my GP and pharmacist made sure I understood. I felt like I was on a roller coaster that only went down and I couldn’t get off it. The good news is, once the meds kicked in and after talking through things and developing strategies to deal with the anxiety that roller coaster finally started to go up!

I know at the moment it doesn’t feel like it, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. It might not feel like it right now, but things will get better. They are words I didn’t think I’d be saying 6 or 7 months ago.

There are some fantastic apps that I found or had suggested to me that I use to try and calm myself down with meditation and breathing exercises if I get stressed or anxious that might be useful.

My thoughts are with you and I really hope things get better for you soon. Just know that you’re not alone. There are so many people here who have been so much help to me (even though they don’t know it), and of course there are the professionals who are there to help you through this as well.

Take care

Em