Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

[mchops]

Hi guys,

Has anyone here worked in a high stress environment, particularly in an office environment? I kindly ask of your advice on my experience at my new job which has been giving me stress and anxiety. Some key issues:

• I was not provided any handover notes from my predecessor and am still figuring out the job, but I face multiple projects and feel like I’m sinking and constantly stressed from the pressure and high expectations right off the bat.
• My director is a huge micromanager and nothing is ever good enough even tho I try my best. Numerous nit picking every day, including how I organise my desk. I do accept that my work isn’t up to scratch yet as I’m still learning about what he likes. But review rounds/approvals for my work happen in 50 pieces rather than organised sessions, which I’ve spoken up about. He is very strict. Incredibly difficult to please him. This is experienced by different departments too, including getting criticised multiple times a day for things not in our control.
• Context: this is a small 20 person company. I only have myself and an assistant from Phillipines who isn’t that skilled and constantly have to spell out tasks to her and check for mistakes. I have had tl resort to use freelancers in my next project to produce high quality work. This company has a 1 year turn over and I’m starting to see why. Also we are always being watched through security cameras. Got in trouble today for venting to my coworker because I was so stressed out.
• Health impacts: I’ve been here a month and I’ve been getting IBS during weeks of peak stress, losing sleep from stress, and am angry or anxious most days. I’m under so much pressure from high expectations and lack of available resources (starting from scratch) but not given time to deal with these start up issues. I’ve never worked at a place that has an issue with everything. Feels like 10 new problems every day. 
•  My next steps: I plan to give this place a chance until end of 2024 (so end of my probation) but I cannot continue after this if things don’t change bc I feel my mental health deteriorating. Everything feels like my fault and expectations are that of a multi million dollar company so how can I ever reach that. I’m only human and basically a one man band.

Thank you for reading this, sorry for long message.

[therising]

If the boss threatens with the job reference, if there's anyone else in the company in a senior position then they'd be the 'go to' person for a reference (if that's possible).

Focusing on a sense of self development could be another way to go. How do we want to develop in a job to be a more assertive person? How do we want to develop in the way of managing our nervous system? How do we want to develop when it comes to how to manage people and speak to them? In some ways, I've found I've developed in my job through a sense of intolerance and in some cases anger (relating to a sense of injustice). Never in a million years would I have thought at one point of confidently speaking to one of the managers in my work place the way in which I did a couple of weeks back. I made it perfectly clear, while keeping my calm and making valid points, that the standards placed on another co-worker were inconsiderate. Feeling deeply for that co-worker is what motivated me. I felt angry for them. I've spent decades being a people pleaser, so this was actually quite challenging in some ways. A great sense of injustice is typically something that triggers me to action. I've found anger (when managed well) can be a positive driving or motivating force.

[mchops]

Hi therising,

Thank you for following up it’s very kind of you. I was ultimately let go before Christmas and it’s been an awkward time to look for a new job over this holiday period. I stopped thinking about that workplace in less than 2 weeks so that’s good.

However, the negative effect on my career right now is that I’m not even sure I want to continue in this career. It’s so hard to find a job in it because the good jobs are rare and it’s extremely competitive (I work in marketing), plus extremely demanding in certain hard skills that uni students tend to not have. Some of my friends from the same industry have switched careers. Personally I feel like doing something else but have no idea. I don’t like to think that the role has jeopardised my career and motivation, but I want to stay realistic about the current job market. Then again, the new year has just begun and maybe the jobs are yet to come?

So I am at a crossroad as you can see. I’d love to hear if you or anyone else has reached this point in their career where they want to switch or just feel stuck, and how did you manage?

[AnonymousZG]

Hi therising,

I tried talking to my bosses boss and also no reply from her. If that is the case, is there anything else I could do? Should I try to contact HR? I'm not sure.

You made a good point about how to become more assertive - how did you become it? Also to set boundaries?

[AnonymousZG]

Hi mchops,

I am in a similar boat to you except I am in accounting. I didn't get let go but I quit before Christmas and yeah there is no jobs out there until at least end of Jan the recruiters tell me. Seriously, even if you weren't let go, you would probably end up quitting, so take it as a blessing as the break is a much needed break to recharge and regain confidence before starting the next role.

I'm lost as to what kind of job I want. I am scared from the last experience - similar to you, there was no handover, I was dump shit and there is endless politics. I want a good supportive boss and it is just so hard to find these days. I don't think it relates to which industry we are in but more luck.