Hi everyone,
i feel like I have been bottling this up for so long. My anxiety is getting worse and worse.
I no longer feel like me.
im 30 years old, a mother of two beautiful children and a supportive husband.
the past two years for my family hasn’t been the greatest. Last year we lost my mother in law, who I was really close to. My family misses her, and my husband still isn’t coping with her lose.
In 2018 we almost lost everything because If a court case. My husband and I almost got divorced because of this. We went from living a lavish life style to having to sell all the furniture in our house to eat.
In amongst all of this my little family were involved in a serious car accident where our car was ridden off.
Then my own mother got sick and almost lost her kidneys.
Even though all these bad things happen my family still pulled though.
Unfortunately, due to all these events I have been left with extreme anxiety.
I worry constantly that something bad is going to happen to my children ie illness, car accident. I always worry that something bad will happen to them and I end up over thinking everything they have.
I worry about my appearance, I feel embarrassed of myself.
I worry about money but I can’t stop spending it. Because it makes me feel better about myself, this causes a lot of arguments with my husband.
I worry about what everyone thinks about me. my husband gets upset with me because I get used a lot. For example; I was made to work 60 hours in one week, and only got paid for 38 hours. They told me the rest was Time in lieu. My husband is upset with me for not speaking up and telling them to pay me properly.
Im mentally and physically exhausted. I yell and scream at everyone, because I feel like a failure.
im at a loss. I’m struggling and I’m always sad (I don’t want to self harm).
