Some help needed please

[emmalilac]

Hi there,

as you can tell I am new to this place. I came onto this platform in a cry of help as I am in currently in a vulnerable state. So here is my situation: For a week I have been avoiding my friends and everyone on social media to the point where I have deactivated my instagram account. This is not the first time I have done so this year but it is a way of me to cope in a way with my issues. Usually my friends would check up on me, call my number and message me. But this time it's different. I feel so lonely and guilty like I had brought this onto myself and on the other hand disappointed with my friends for not reaching out in my most difficult of times. I am especially disappointed with one of my friends who knows my current situation which is god awful but not even she has bothered to call me or anything during this week of hell. I understand that they have their own lives and everything but they are acting like everything is okay. No one has bothered to ask what happened to my Instagram account or bothered to message me as clearly something is upsetting me. I feel so anxious and sad and I have cried ever since I decided to isolate myself from everyone. Maybe I just want attention, maybe I just want someone to ask me "Are you okay?" and I can't even get that. I am scared of what's to happen next because I don't want to be friendless in the next year of school.

I am really sorry for venting but I really need some help or opinion to this matter of mine.

Thank you for reading ❤️

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

[smallwolf]

Hi Emma,

Welcome to beyond blue.

I know these situations can be frustrating. I only have a nice FB account, so I don't know much about other platforms, but I read your post and the actions you have recently are similar to other times this year. And for whatever reason, your friends see you eventually bounce back, the account reactivated and life goes on. Except that it is sad that none asked how you were. We don't want to put our burdens onto our friends so we might not tell the we are hurting. You are not alone in this regard. Maybe you could start the chat with a friend asking how they are? Instead of relying on them? Or if you are avoiding your friends, they may think you want to be alone?

But you said that you have anxiety... Do you get help for that? Do you have any distraction and coping strategies?

Are you able to talk to your friends about what is going on? I am confident they will be your friends in the new year.

This is a good place to chat, or vent. The people here are supportive and helpful. If you want to chat about what you are worrying about, or anything else, please feel free to reply.

Merry Christmas.

Tim

[emmalilac]

Thanks for replying!

Yes I do have anxiety as my psychiatrist diagnosed me two years ago. I don't really know how I cope especially right now. I feel like I'm drowning in my thoughts and I feel like I'm suffering in pain due to uncontrollable circumstances. However, I have recently tired to meditate again to ease my mind.

On the other hand, I am not sure how I feel about my friends right now. Yes it sounds good to maybe open a conversation with them but I really feel sick to the stomach. I just wish things were different but that's in the past. Maybe, when I feel comfortable, I can call one of my friends and tell her what's going on because I feel like I'm making things worse but then again my friends aren't helping in a way.

Thank you again,

Emma

[kanga_brumby]

emmalilac A great big over weight welcome from beyond blue welcome people me I suppose. Give your self a break some times like with me it all moves to fast you ant the problem fixed before you have it. I hat hate having problems and love to have them fixed immediately. But over the last 3 years the problems have got worse and now most are undsolved tanke s to a hat full of a `..........//// I am only going to concentrate on the important things like my daughter and son or my own health but now my well meaning rellows want full control of my life and I have proved it's not needed. Sure get your advice get it fixed appreciate the learning you get from ythe problem there is a lesson in there usualy.

Kanga

[emmalilac]

Thank you for the advice. I hope that after my week of recovery I will back to talking and having fun with my friends and that life will treat me a little better than what I have come to experience and witness this year.

Cheers,

Emma

[Doolhof]

Hi Emma,

I too welcome you to the community here. Mental health issues can make our minds a little confused at times.

Over the years I have cancelled social media only to reinstate it a week later! I have deleted email addresses, only to do the same thing with them!

Our minds can be confusing and controlling at times. Hopefully you will learn ways to accept what your mind is waffling on about, can listen to the chatter but not always act upon it.

Hopefully you have a couple of friends who will be understanding and supportive of how you are feeling.

Also hope you have managed to have a nice Christmas if you celebrate.

Cheers to you from Dools

[smallwolf]

Hi Emma,

Sorry if I implied you didn't have anxiety. I meant that because we (or at least I) ride depression and anxiety in waves, and at our worst hope that someone knows or can see it. This is made more difficult if your friends don't have a lived experience. As friend of mine checks in with me each week, and occasionally have coffee as well. And now if you are on holidays you are unlikely to see each other. As much as you might like your friends to respond, you could always write here, and people will respond. Would that work for you?

You could also look at the threads on grounding and mindfulness on the forums for other distraction and coping strategies?

How was your Christmas?

Tim