Should we tell others we have an anxiety problem?

[Moonstruck]

Is it best to keep our mental health challenges to ourselves - or just be upfront with a carefully chosen few? The relatively rare (thank goodness) times I have to cancel plans, or late in beginning projects (procrastinating) saying No to requests etc...I wish I could simply tell the truth and say "I have an anxiety disorder"...or "I have big problems with anxiety that overcome me sometimes" or similar. Wouldn't that sound like I am "making excuses"?. People would find it hard to believe because I am so good at putting on a false, breezy, "together" switched on, capable, coping, good listener facade....the one OTHERS confide their problems to.

I tried a couple of times, something simple, not making a big deal of it or anything - like "I have a problem with anxiety" or "I have an anxiety disorder" I think I said. Responses included "Ah, you just worry too much" and another asked re anxiety disorder "What's that?"

I've also had in the past "It's about time you got your life together- what have YOU got to worry about?".......obviously we have to keep it a big secret!!! I would be interested to hear if anyone else has had similar responses, or do the majority of us just keep our mouths shut?

[blondguy]

Hello Moon

Great topic and if I can quote your words "just be upfront with a carefully chosen few" YES!!

I was so over avoiding different situations for so many years that I started telling people that I suffered from 'Claustrophobia' even without being in a small place and people generally understood.

Part of getting rid of anxiety is 'acceptance' of the disorder. By letting people know you are accepting anxiety as a health issue. Anxiety can be exacerbated by all the effort/energy required to 'keep it hidden'

Always great to see you Moon:-)

Tell people...you will feel better!

Kind thoughts

Paul

[Melissa74]

I tell people that I have anxiety. I started a new job and on day 3 told the big boss. I figure I have nothing to lose. If I didn't tell them they would eventually find out.

We didn't ask to feel like this it's just how we were made.

Take care

[blondguy]

Hi Melissa74 (sorry to Hijack your post Moon x)

Melissa....Can I ask you how you did that? I have never had anyone accept the 'anxiety' word....you legend! 🙂

Paulx

[geoff]

hi Moon, if you don't tell other people then you're only procrastinating and the more you do this the worse you will feel, don't put it off, and for those who make stupid remarks back to you are oblivious of your situation, and to be honest most of our friends do decide to go their separate ways because they never believe what you have to say and can't handle it.
When I had the big fall to depression/anxiety I had 6 months work in front of me being self-employed and with some of the people I had to ring them up and say to them 'that I can't do the work as I've had a breakdown', that was just so hard to do, but once I did I felt better, not actually feeling better but more so relief of my shoulders.
It did take me awhile to do this, but it had to be done otherwise I would be getting constant phone calls asking when I was coming.
Anxiety is an illness that could lead onto other problems, so the sooner you tell them the sooner the air will be cleared. Geoff.

[Moonstruck]

Thanks for your advice and thoughts people - I am still working my way through this and will be careful who I confide in - only those who need to know I guess....not everyone needs to know -it's good to be able to reach out to those members here, who understand...

[Melissa74]

Hi Paul, I have just moved 7 hours away from where I have lived for the past 42 years due to hubby getting a work transfer.

In 4 weeks I moved and got a job and felt ok. Then BANG anxiety hit me for a 6. I was at work trying not to break down in tears when I just marched into his office and said "I get anxiety and today it's bad. I like the job it's just the move and whole life change that has triggered it. If you want to let me go I understand". He just said no it's ok.

I can't suffer alone. The minute I try to hide it I crumble.

[PuzzlePup]

When I first started my current job I was told about a previous employee that had depression and the general comments were negative. It's been 5 years and they still don't know that I had depression and am still suffering from anxiety to this day. I have only told a select few but have been amazed to find that they too had similar stories to tell. I wouldn't tell a new employer. I lost a job once because I wasn't 'happy' enough. Telling them would've only confirmed their thoughts that i wasn't right for the job.

[Moonstruck]

Melissa...glad that appeared to go so well for you....you obviously chose the right words at the right time with the right person and good on you!!

It was so different to the response PuzzlePup received wasn't it.....very interesting just how varied others' perceptions of what we are dealing with can be.....certainly not a situation of "one size fits all"....is it?

[PuzzlePup]

Melissa, your last sentence is so true. I do suffer alone and I think that's part of the problem.