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shaky, scared and silent

ava_rose
Community Member

I have no clue how to start this. Reaching out about mental illness is something foreign to me, and it takes immense commitment to not quit the page. I have always been a very mature, healthy young person, so to acknowledge i have a ‘mental illness’ is kind of, weird? My anxiety has become a consistent feeling throughout my day to day life. It sits in my stomach and shakes my hands and makes me sweat in the most calm and insignificant situations. I first experienced a panic attack last October, it was roughly 3-4 hours and i’ve had regular attacks ever since. Anxiety has sprung on me unexpectedly, and unlike all other aspects of my life (where i am free to talk about how i feel openly – with a very supportive group of friends, connected school and devoted family) i feel enormous apprehension to approach anyone i know about this. i wake up and feel anxious, i shake in between classes and only find relief once i am talking to my best friend (who urges me to seek professional help – which i dismiss, not because i do not believe it won’t work, but because it’s a struggle for me to post this, let alone face someone and tell them that there is something wrong with me?) I don’t know what to do, is talking to a doctor the only way? I want answers but everything seems crowded in my mind and i can’t figure out where to start looking. Please help, there is no one i feel comfortable talking too, but i can’t contain all this madness inside.

Ava x

1 Reply 1

integrityguy
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Ava. As a fellow anxiety sufferer, I can relate to some of what you're going through. Those unpleasant feelings, the sweating, the panic attacks, etc ... why do they happen in "calm and insignificant situations"? Why do people with strong support networks, healthy bodies (in the physical sense) and intelligence still suffer from anxiety? I recently bought my own house, I'm surrounded by loving and supportive family and friends, and I have a stable job with a good income. Yet I still walk around with that knot in my stomach, the cold sweats and the endless thought patterns.

It's hard to find logic behind anxiety. And it's hard to get others to see things the way you see them (unless they're been through it also). Not everyone is comfortable talking about it, psychologists are expensive and pills aren't for everyone. Maybe self-help could be a good option for you? I highly recommend a book called "FearLess - Your guide to overcoming anxiety" by Wayne Froggatt - he's a professional social worker based in NZ with 30 years experience. It's packed full of useful advice about anxiety and numerous strategies for keeping it under control.

Peace.