I'm currently in a relationship with a partner who I dated previously. We were together for 3 years and broke up not long after his mothers death, which caused stress in the relationship. He hurt me badly (didn't deal with his grief and took it out on me) but after time apart and some counselling he wanted to fix things. We have been trying to start fresh but things have been up and down. We are going on 6 months back together.
I have this overwhelming fear of getting hurt again. I have break downs when he says he's going out with friends and he gets angry with me when I'm upset for no real reason, he says I should leave what happened in the past and just trust him.
He has planned a 6 week holiday overseas. He wants to do it by himself even though I would like to travel with him. I understand that he wants to do this before we settle down (we've talked about marriage) but I fear that this is a sign that he is not committed to me and wishes to live a single life.
I feel like i've turned into this insecure, clingy girlfriend who over analyses everything and I know this kind of behaviour will only push him away. I just wish things could go back to how they were before we broke up, I was a lot more carefree then.
I also suffer from some social anxiety and get very overwhelmed in large groups of people I don't know well, my partner is the complete opposite, he is very outgoing and makes friends easily.
Any advice on this situation would be greatly appreciated.
TD
