Public bathroom anxiety???

[Hope_for_the_best]

I am having a stressful time with my studies and as a result, I become overly sensitive to the surroundings. I raised some concerns about my stress symptoms earlier, (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/weird-symptoms-during-times-of-intense-stress-) but this particular “anxiety” stands on its own so I would like to make a new thread.

I know no one likes public bathrooms. I don’t like too, but I was fine with using one if needed until I got a diarrhoea at a shopping mall last year. I should have avoided greasy food when my digestion was not great under stress, but somehow I ate a creamy pasta for lunch and went shopping in a mall when I needed to go very badly. I went, the bathroom was quite clean actually, but the ventilation was not that good. My diarrhoea smelt awful and made me gag. I rushed out of the bathroom as soon as I finished and I felt better after breathing in some fresh air. But since that incident, I started to be uncomfortable with public bathrooms. I still go and eat out as usual, but I get obsessed with smells in public bathrooms and I avoid using one if possible. My gut is usually very obedient so I only need to pee most of the times. Still, it becomes a lot of struggles in mind before I ever walk in and use a public bathroom. I talked to my psychologist about that. She says it is normal to hate public bathrooms and if I do not stop going out because of them, it is okay. She asks me to be patient and allows myself some time to get over it.

Over the year, I improved a lot on my own. At least, I think less before using a public bathroom these days. However, I still have the struggling thoughts of going or not at times. I wish to get back to before asap, i.e. use a public bathroom without a second thought.

Any suggestions? Thanks.

[blondguy]

Hello Hope

You have brought up a good thread topic here and thankyou

I think you are the same as the majority of people where public toilets are concerned.

I dont 'hate' them but I dont like them either. Your psychologist is spot on when she said it is normal not to like public bathrooms. I have also had to use them in a 'hurry' too...big time...I was just glad they were there so I could 'go'

The cleanest public bathrooms on earth are McDonalds even though their food is bad news

I understand you find them as awful as I do but I am just glad they exist in the first place.

Nothing wrong at all with feeling anxious about a public bathroom Hope. You are in the majority

Good to talk to you again

my kindest

Paul

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Hope.for.the.best,

Thanks for your post - oh, and great to reference your other thread too!

I'm glad that you've spoken to the psychologist about this and she's right in that it's normal to hate public bathrooms. You've talked about struggling with the thought of going, and it sounds like it's really the smell that's making it hard.

I think that we've all had our fair share of incidents in the bathroom; whether it's diarrhoea (or in my case, vomiting a lot) - and I think we've all gone to plenty of smelly bathrooms. Even the nicest seeming public toilets can be unpleasant, so sadly there's really no way to know until you walk in.

A lot of anxiety as you would already know comes down to self-talk. What was your self-talk like when you went into smelly bathrooms before? What is it like now? Is it that feeling of going to vomit? Being able to notice and then reframe that thinking can be useful, so that you can notice whatever is unpleasant (if it is) but focus on what you need to do without letting it affect you.

[luft_]

Hello,

I don't like public bathrooms much either - who does?

However, bowel movements and urination are nothing to be ashamed of. But I would like to recommend you speak to someone about this as avoiding the bathroom can have severe physical consequences too.

When I was young I refused to go to the bathroom at school because I was told by my grandmother it was impolite to have a bowel movement in a public bathroom. I began to feel embarrassed and disgusted to the point where I did some pretty severe damage to my bladder from 'holding it in'. I developed a very thick bladder lining and frequent UTIs (I had over 50 of them in a 3 years).

I eventually had a surgery but I am still experiencing problems. Just today I had a bladder pressure test and have found my muscle wall is still experiencing issues thanks to this damage I did as a child. For the test I actually had to urinate in front of 2 doctors and 2 nurses - talk about performance anxiety!

My recommendation would be to include a lot of fibre and water in your diet so that at least you can expect to have a bowel movement at the same time each day and prepare yourself for it. There is nothing shameful about it, or urinating, everyone does it.

Hope this helps,

Luisa

[Hope_for_the_best]

Thank you for both of your replies! I thought I was kind of weird to stress about public bathrooms so nobody replied. My most distressing anxiety symptom is a lumpy throat. It can escalate into a feeling of suffocation and it can get worst to the point of gagging. My throat is always very dry at that point, contrary to the gagging before you throw up when there is a lot of saliva in your mouth (sorry for too much information). In other words, it is just an uncomfortable sensation without anything further.

I think the smell of diarrhoea reminds me of a horrible experience when I was in Year 7. I came down with a bad case of rotavirus (the relative of norovirus). I literally threw up everything down my mouth, so I was rushed to the hospital for dehydration. Doctors had to put me on fast because I could not keep anything down. They said I needed to wait for the bug to travel down my gut before eating again or else I would continue to throw up. They allowed me to eat again 2 days later and said I could be discharged after I "eliminated" the bug completely. So I ended up spending one whole night in the bathroom having diarrhoea 20+ times. I was very weak and needed someone to help me into and out of the bathroom. I will never forget that 4 nights in the hospital. Probably this traumatic experience contributes to my anxiety now. I know gastro as bad as that is uncommon, but the potential of getting one again is horrifying and having a diarrhoea in a public bathroom is very emotionally triggering. The trouble is I did not think too much of anything when I was in smelly bathroom before, because I mostly needed to pee only and I would get out in a minute or 2. I will try to identify the unhelpful self-talks and change them.

[Hope_for_the_best]

Hi Luisa,

Thank you for your reply. As I said in my post, I talked to my psychologist about that. I am aware of the physical problems from holding in, so I still make myself go when needed. It is just the intrusive thoughts from that unpleasant incident that bother me. I did not think twice before heading to a public bathroom before, but now I need to, so I wish to get back to where I was. Thankfully, my bowel is generally good and regular, so I rarely need to go #2 in a public bathroom. I can pretty much count the exact number of times I went #2 in a public bathroom over my life of 20+ years. Probably that's why a diarrhoea can get to me so much.

[luft_]

Hello,

That can't have been pleasant at all! It sounds like the experience was quite traumatic indeed and that makes perfect, rational sense. Getting gastro that bad can be life threatening so it's not a surprise you feel so uncomfortable when you're taken back to that experience.

I know that smell is very much connected to memory too, so it can bring up a flashback. I had a bad flashback to something very traumatising when I recently smelt an essential oil whilst in the office - a smell I used to find very pleasant. But because it was connected to a bad experience I had an awful reaction.

I don't know much about therapeutic solutions but I have heard it helps to try to acclimatise yourself to that smell. This may not be easy (or possible) with the smell of diarrhoea - but it may be possible to desensitise yourself to the trigger of the PTSD.

I've been using a really helpful app, I think it's called PTSD Coach Australia. It was made by the Australian army/government to help war veterans to cope with PTSD. It often helps to surround yourself with a positive thing when feeling the flashback or PTSD trigger. I.e. looking at something that makes you happy whilst in the moment, or shortly afterwards. This apparently retrains the brain to start associating happy things.

I think a lot of detectives who have to view disturbing images / things use it too. If you can create an album on your phone of happy things - videos, jokes, cute dog memes - etc - it may help!

Good luck 🙂

[MsPurple]

HI Hope.for.the.best. Sorry to hear about your adversion to bathrooms and feeling uncomfortable remembering you experience. I had a similar one in high school and I usually avoid that bathroom or cubical. It was a once off but played over in my mind. It sucks.

I'm gonna give you a different and maybe weird suggestion. Have you ever heard of poopourri? It sounds weird but copy and paste it into google. It is an air freshioner like thing but it works different. What you do is spray it in the toilet water before you go, then once you go it traps the smell in the toilet. (unlike air freshioner it doesn't mask the smell but prevents it because it traps it in the water.) Although I haven't used it myself I have only heard good things about it. Especially from people with IBS needing to use public restrooms and people who struggle to go at their partners house. Maybe this could be something to try. It is different and not sure if it is something you were looking for but thought I would put it out there. This may help knowing that if you are in a similar situation again you have no concerns. You can buy it online. I am not sure if it is in stores here but I know some of my friends have gotten it online.

Hope this helps and isn't too out there. If not the others have given great advice 🙂

[Hope_for_the_best]

It is not a weird suggestion at all! I am keeping a bottle of Poo Pourri with me at all time since that incident. I got them from ebay. I have to say it helps a lot in tuning down my anxiety. Their ads are very funny too 😄

[Hope_for_the_best]

I am not sure whether my stress towards public bathrooms after the traumatic gastro experience is PTSD. I don't have the typical symptoms of PTSD like avoiding places that are associated with traumas. I attended a conference in a hospital last week and I felt fine the whole time. If I am not wrong, I should be very paranoid whenever I am in a hospital if I had PTSD. I briefly mentioned that gastro experience to my psychologist, but she made no comments. I guess because I am still living my life as usual, so there is no cause for concern. I am just more anxious than usual when I need to use a public bathroom, after a diarrhoea reminded me of the traumatic experience. Anyway, I will give the app a go and introduce more positive things into my life.

Thanks.