Hi Albinomouse,
I can certainly appreciate the feeling of being irrationally worried about money and the future. This wakes me up at 3:00am most mornings, and some days I get back to sleep within 20 minutes whereas other days I might still be staring at the ceiling at 4:00am. 🙂
One thing I've learned from my experience with anxiety is that it doesn't actually hurt me. I have bad moments with it, but once they've passed, things are okay until the next bad moment. The work is in extending the time between bad moments! 🙂
Is their anyone in your world that you can talk with every other day or so? Social connection is a real blessing. Just to be able to speak out loud some of our concerns with another person every now and then can feel like a real weight being lifted. One thing I've come to realise is that 'pushing thoughts aside' rarely works. Following them through to the end however is sometimes really helpful. And then when you get to the end, taking a reality check is a way to put it to rest for a while. E.g., follow the thought of the car breaking down right through to the end, where you see yourself getting the bill and having no way to pay it and feeling horrible and all that comes with that scenario. Then, think about your car right now. Is it running? Is their any indication your fear is going to come true? Yes, if it did happen it would be difficult, but the evidence is simply not there to suggest it's going to happen. Right now, you're okay. So is your car, so is your hot water system, and so on.
I appreciate it's rarely this straight forward. These are just things I try to do myself. When they work, I win. When they don't work, it's a little longer I have to sit through my anxiety feelings.
I hope you find some release from your anxiety and thinking.
