Post surgery complication and anxiety

[MsAnxious]

Hi all,

I am new to this forum and would be keen to hear other members’ experience with overcoming negative thoughts when going through ill health.

I have a major surgery about one and a half month ago and am having a complication. Nothing too painful and not life threatening, but is impacting quality of life. Because of my condition I rarely get out of the house as I can get very uncomfortable and will need to use a bathroom. Because I stay home most of the time my mental health is affected. I do have a history of mental health issues and maybe this is impacting my mental resilience? Even as I am writing this I feel silly - a 46 year old complaining when so many other people in the world have bigger issues!

My biggest issue is catastrophic thinking. On a bad day I would think I will never get better, will have to resign from work and will not be able to have a meaningful family life. This will make me anxious which will then trigger another catastrophic thinking of relapsing into my previous mental health struggles, which have been under control for 6 years now. My doctors won’t do anything about my complication until 3 to 6 months post surgery as they believe my insides need to recover fully first, and with luck the condition might resolve itself within that time frame. So, I feel rather unsupported by the medical profession.

Family and friends can sympathise but not empathise because they have never been through this. I also am worried about friends getting sick of me taking about my condition and seeing me as a whinger.

I am going back to work at the end of January which also is causing anxiety. I am not sure I can cope at work.

Please if you have experienced a similar situation I would appreciate your sharing some advice on how to overcome all the negative thinking.

Regards,

MsAnxious.

[Elizabeth CP]

First of all I will say you are not alone in your reaction. I haven't experienced exactly the same as you but twice I've had injuries which have stopped me from living my normal life & made it impossible to leave the house without help. The frustration & the feeling of being trapped were very difficult. I hated being dependent on others & worried about them thinking I was a nuisance. I also worried about getting back to work & how I'd cope. It was worse when I didn't heal as quick as expected so the prolonged time brought up feelings of 'will I ever get better. I did eventually recover & get back to normal. I shared that to reassure you that your woories are normal not a sign of being a whinger.

My husband had complications from surgery. In his case he was left blind. Subsequent surgeries also failed. He never had mental health issues before but he became depressed & angry & felt life was not worth living. Once it was confirmed that there was nothing left medically to help him he began the long process of learning to accept & live with his condition. It took time but even within a couple of months he started to accept what had happened & was able to cope. One of the things he enjoys now is meeting others with similar conditions & using his experiences to help motivate them & see how they can still enjoy life.

I hope by sharing these experiences you can see that your current feelings are very normal in yoour situation but there is light at the end of the tunnel even if you are never fully healed.

I wish I could wave a magic want to make things better now but I can't but I want you to know that I care

[MsAnxious]

Hi ElizabethCP,

Thank you for your response and kind words. Your husband sounds like a resilient and inspirational man. Funny about your magic wand comment; I said to a friend a few days ago that I wish I had one to fix my current struggles!

Regards,

MsAnxious.